From the monthly archives:

March 2009

Boy As King

Boy As King

For the next 4 days, I’ll be writing about my students through their eyes, through mine, and then through your eyes, hoping that maybe we can grow from our limited thinking about our own students (myself included) and start to have real discussion, uncensored. Let’s get into it, shall we?

He wakes up in the morning, glasses thick, sullied, and intact. He’s bit heavy set, and has a naiveté uncommon to his rather humble surroundings. His apartment’s full of roaches and other creatures he never sees when he turns the knobs on his TV. Fox: Family Ties. Ahh, nice brown house. Family’s there with the mom, dad, and their siblings. Cosby Show: Dad and mom. Nice house. Bunch of siblings. Everything’s nice and works out in the end. Family Feud: 4-5 members of the family, all smiles. Superficial and fun competition in which they embrace openly. He wonders where his mom and him fall in that spectrum of what TV promotes as a healthy family. He stops scratching his head and gets to playing video games, for he feels more akin to plumbers in fantasy lands and turtles mutated from a sewer than this wholesome image portrayed on TV.

After all, these are all escapist mind frames.

He goes to school, and excels as you can expect. He behaves well … for the most part. And teachers cater to him because, well, he’s the smart kid. With time, he’s told he’s special because of his academic abilities, and so the quarantining begins. It’s in the adults’ mind frame that now this child has to come home extremely early, stay away from anyone who doesn’t even appear smart or doesn’t share the same interest, check in with an older cousin even when they may not really trust that person either, and worst of all, don’t touch any person of the opposite sex because, indirectly, that would lead to that deadly disease of pregnancy.

But eventually he grows up, makes it through public school, through private school, through “university,” and gets a really good job somewhere out in a city people in his neighborhood hasn’t heard of but the money’s somewhere in the 60K-80K range.

Success story right?

After 20+ years of “raising him right,” what’s the first thing people do when they see him? Point to a “failure” and say, “See? Why can’t you be like that?!”

We often stand there hypocritically and use these academic luminaries to set some really high and inequitable standard for many students when we use words like “uniqueness” and “differentiation.” (Is it because most of us are him or her?) We can’t complain about how badly our students do on statewide exams and, in the same line of thinking, hold our students to the same standard for their personal achievement as the next, right? Just because they’re both culturally similar doesn’t mean they have the exact same rate of success.

There are indeed likelihoods that certain populations won’t do well versus the other, but let’s be real: if I’m looking at my kids and the statistics against their success, we’re looking at a barrage of obstacles for them to overcome to become that “success” story we so often like to laud. What are the chances that a student growing up in poverty makes it through K-12, middle school, high school, and college without incident, accident, prejudice, or mishap? How many people do they have for them modeling the behaviors that they need to succeed? Do our students have the wherewithal to weather the psychological damage abject poverty, going from foster home to foster home, or watching your first person shot up on the block? Hmmm?

How many people, places, enforcers, and institutions through that path serve as oppressors to that child’s ability rather than enhancers and supporters of their abilities? Or how about those that inflate that child’s ability to the point where they forget to take care of the small things that matter, like developing good work habits and treating others respectfully? Many students, who may have tons of potential, encounter more people and types than they ever might have imagined when they started out in a rug fitting blocks into spaces with that one teacher at the center. Thus, the combination to that lock of success gets more complex, and far too many of our students barely make it through year 10 of this crazy process we call schooling.

Chances are, that aforementioned student, who everyone called the exception to the rule, actually proves the rule with his / her existence. For without him / her, we may think that one’s surroundings have little to do with how well a person does, right? Right.

And when he or she makes it through the possible culture shock of 120+ students in a Greco-Roman inspired room, more than 1/2 of whom can easily afford to be there, with loans up to their eyeballs, will they believe in this idea of uniqueness and isolate themselves from people whom they once called friends and thus indirectly extracting them from people who they shared so much in common with before this college-ification?

Where does someone step in and give the student a little token called humility and say, “Keep it with you. This never runs out, and use it whenever it feels right.”?

Jose, who wants less “curriculum enhancers” and more uprooting of the current educational system …

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Life Magazine: The Negro and the Cities

Life Magazine: The Negro and the Cities

For the next 4 days, I’ll be writing about my students through their eyes, through mine, and then through your eyes, hoping that maybe we can grow from our limited thinking about our own students (myself included) and start to have real discussion, uncensored. Let’s get into it, shall we?

He wakes up, splitting headache, and eyes puffy and black from the lack of sleep in his house. His mom gets home at close to midnight, and he hasn’t been able to sleep well since his mom took that job at the factory. Before he gets to school, he has no breakfast. Just runs out the door to the corner to meet up with his boys, who seem to be the only real family he has. In school, first period, he naps in class, and can’t really concentrate because his mind is swirling about him. Thoughts turn to his father or lack thereof, his mom, his younger brother … everything but the chalkboard. And as he comes to consciousness, his teacher’s screaming at him. He can’t hear the first part, but eventually, he makes out,

” … and why aren’t you ever paying attention? This is why you’re not doing very well.”

He snaps. The kid just gets a grumpy and disdainful attitude towards the teacher and the class. He’s reckless, they say. After lunch, after the consumption of Doritos and Tropical Fantasy, his only lunch for the day, he’s ready to act exactly how they’ve pegged him. He’s a class clown. But he doesn’t have to care; after school, he’s the cool kid. That is, until he comes home, and it’s empty. Thus, he only needs school for socialization, and nothing else. He never follows up with anything because, unbeknown to his mom, he doesn’t do any homework. Just takes care of his younger brother. Till midnight. And repeats cycle.

What do you say to him?

What do you say to kids whose only influences tell them to do as they say and not do as they do? When they keep seeing their mom sleeping with a multitude of men, seeing her trying to recapture her youth but in the process neglecting her own children who need her love so much? When she’s going crazy in the main office when the situation didn’t call for that and all the kids find out so they’re making fun of them as the crazy mom’s kid? When their father shows up, pats your head, smacks their mom, and tells her that she better come back, and when she says no, he runs out and throws a couple hundred dollars behind him? When every male role model they have either works so hard, he comes home and lays there for hours on end? When there are days when they don’t even get to see him except in bed resting for the next 12 hour day? When the neighborhood gunrunner takes your students to the local parties and shows him how to interact with girls, and not in any way you’d approve? When the girl who acts so innocent in class has already learned that the only way to interact with a man isn’t through her intelligence or her strength, but with a wave of a finger and her lips?

What is the definition of appropriate when everything you as a teacher / educator / parent / counselor has to do just to get your students in their seats, their graphite to the paper, and their minds locked into the material? Why are they absent? What are your standards?

All these questions, and we’re expected to contend with those as change agents.

Jose, who wonders what the genesis of a nemesis is …

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Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods

A few notes:

  • I can finally announce: I’ll be one of American Latino TV’s guests next weekend! Yes, I’ll be appearing all across the states. Check these listings to see if it’s playing in your area. In NYC, it’s playing on April 5th at 3:00pm on My 9. Yes, I’m really excited, and it’s my first interview on TV. Let me know what you think after you’ve watched (yes, there will be constant reminders). (American Latino TV)
  • Speaking of interviews, the Villager asked me to do one for Electronic Village. Some of my latest subscribers came from there, so big ups to the Villager. (Let him know what you think about the interview, please). (Electronic Village)
  • Sometimes, students’ entitlement to a good grade becomes controversy in and of itself. A little humility please? (New York Times)
  • In retrospect, was Eliot Spitzer that bad? Apparently so for AIG, as some say AIG was responsible for knocking him out of office. (AlterNet)
  • Facebook, don’t acquiesce your direction too much for your users. Please. (Washington Post)
  • Tiger Woods just made the whole world eat it … again. (ESPN)
  • And this, well it just broke my heart. (dy/dan)

This week, I’m starting a series about the pre-story of my students. I’m digging in deep.

Jose, who contemplating the genesis of a nemesis …

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Stereotypical Cartoon from the 1900's about Women's Suffrage

Stereotypical Cartoon from the 1900's about Women's Suffrage

In the early 1800s, a woman by the name of Augusta Ada King, countess of Lovelace (commonly known as Ada Lovelace), wrote a “program” for Charles Babbage that would work for a “computer” that he hadn’t even created yet. She’s widely credited as the first computer programmer, and even had the first major computer named after her. Yet, there’s still debate about this point because, of course, Babbage didn’t acknowledge her or any other contributors to his work much.

From many reports (and just from reading some of her sample biographies), she didn’t seem like one to follow rules. She studied math in a time when the idea of women becoming educated citizens in this world was still either new or still unheard of in many countries. From all accounts, she was a badass and a thinker, who actually predicted that, with computer programs, we’d be able to hear music while others found it to be nonsense. (New Zealand was the first country to let women vote … in 1893! The US only picked that up 30 years later.)

Now, I wouldn’t bring someone up like Ada Lovelace (who I still don’t think the male-dominated technology fields give enough props to) because she was the first computer programmer or a bad-ass, but because she was the first computer program AND a bad-ass. People have said in my circles that well behaved women rarely make history, and that stands true to now. It’s easy for males to say that women need to act a certain way to be productive members in society. They should naturally lean towards the kitchen and the laundromat. They should naturally lean towards taking care of the kids. They should naturally wear certain types of clothes or act a certain way.

And naturally, I find it all to be BS. I want you right now to make a list of all the women that have made history right now in your mind.(rosaparks, angeladavis, michelleobama, sallyride, doloreshuerta, arethafranklin, susanbanthony, sojournertruth, idabwells, yurikochiyama).

OK, that’s enough time. Now if 60% of your list were goody-two-shoes, then I suspect you need a few more lessons in history.

Now, think about your present situation and think about the women in your life. I’ll give you enough time to think about the women who make a difference in your life, in any facet …

Right. Now if your list is 60% goody-two-shoes, you’re not pushing yourself hard enough. I said it.

For some reason, whether the woman is my girlfriend (who is as misbehaved as they come), or the writers of the blogs I read, or the friends I’ve made, the women who surround me serve as, at once, independent figures who I believe are making history with their ways or starting revolutions with their work and counterbalance to my own delusions of grandeur. I don’t think any of them are considered well-behaved, and while some of them play nice when needed, none of them conform to some social standard of what they’re supposed to do.

And that thrills me.

As men, we need women. I’m not ready to worship women either, but the ones in my life need that affirmation to let them know just how they’re breaking standards in their own way. I prefer when the women aren’t well-behaved, and make conscientious noise. This behavior isn’t about being rude, disrespectful, trifling, bellicose, or disagreeable. It’s about breaking those social norms that dispel the nonsense of what women can achieve and can’t.

Society is quick to tell women how they should behave, but it’s often the ones that don’t behave that push the human race forward. If people can’t accept that, then maybe they need to be reprogrammed.

Jose, who needed the right impetus to celebrate Women’s History Month …

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It’s That Time Again

by Jose on March 24, 2009 · 9 comments

in life

You all know I love doing this sort of feedback business, so let me ask:

What do you think of the blog so far?

What subjects should I stick to? Veer away from? Like it as is?

More guest-posters? Anything?

Yes, I do write for myself, but oftentimes, the feedback I get here has been so pertinent in my growth as a writer and, yes, as a teacher. Let me know what your thoughts are. Thanks.

Jose, who’s had data up to and on to his eyeballs all dang day …

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Just Read!

Just Read!

How many times have you heard the following sentence?

“That’s not what I said. Listen / read clearly.”

This statement usually comes about when, either out of sheer emotional attachment to the subject or their own obstinance, they ignore what someone’s saying and it becomes a discussion about something that’s closer to their hearts rather than to their very eyes. Just recently, for instance, Mike Klonsky of Small Talk posted about charter schools and how misleading the comparisons can be between charter schools and “the rest of the” public schools (because, for some reason, when we’re talking about charter schools, we are and we’re not talking about public schools). Now, I’m all for a little rebel rousing:

And this is where I have a problem with so many advocates of charter schools:

They really think that having a new building, new facilities, pretty fancy things, and the like really make them that much better than public schools. Or for that matter, that it’s their schools that deserve those ornaments and not our students, who as NYCEd can tell you, still find their next period class in the next trailer over.

Performance pay is really just another form of elitist separatist policy, and the last thing we need is another institution, especially one so necessary for this country, to go private and susceptible to the whims of money-hungry demagogue CEOs.

I said it. After charter-proponent Obama’s last salvo about the good qualifications of charter schools, and after union-hating Bloomberg’s backslap against teachers on Snow Day, and after JD’s consistent news about some public school being turned into a charter school and another overcrowded public school, I have to draw another line in the sand somewhere.

Notice, though, that I never indicted the charter schools themselves. Even though I’ve witnessed some of the ugliness that goes on in charter schools, I made sure to criticize the advocates of charter schools, not the staff or teachers themselves, because it was relevant to the post. Um, duh. Plus, I try to follow the definition of literacy: “the ability to identify, understand, interpret, create, communicate, compute and use printed and written materials associated with varying contexts.”

Now, you can read the words there and think I’m getting personal somehow and getting vindictive. But if we’re having an intelligent conversation, I’m expecting you to read every word and not act like I’m offending you personally by bringing up the advocates of charter schools … unless you, too, are an advocate. In which case, read up some more.

Because I’m not saying that public schools in general don’t suck. What I am saying is that many charter schools have people who believe many of our students aren’t worth the trouble. That many of our teachers aren’t worth having job security. That if you have a charter school in the same building as a public school, that the charter school takes precedence (think about those implications!) Think about the biggest individuals leading the charge for this “reform” movement: the very people who have corporate interest in their back pocket.

But please, I’m only a math teacher that’s asking you to read. Literacy isn’t read all over.

Jose, who’s started to read The Count of Monte Cristo …

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5 Things I’m Losing The Patience For

by Jose on March 22, 2009 · 7 comments

in life

squidward

Squidward

Anyone who really knows me knows I’m a really patient guy, and the last time I did this sort of list, most of these situations have worked themselves out. Rihanna no longer goes out with Chris Brown (and people are actually and outwardly discussing domestic violence, though we haven’t made real headway in that conversation, frankly). Some rappers actually have been productive members of Twitter. The Orange of Syracuse have been sweeter and sweeter lately. The apotheosis of Obama has worn down a bit since this corporate bailout / AIG scandal has prevailed. And I don’t see the stalkers nor the salespeople going away any time soon, everything’s been working well so far … until now.

Hopefully, with this list, we can start purging some of the feces that people perpetuate. For instance, I’ve decided that I’ve lost patience with the items listed below. While I haven’t yet found a solution for these problems, I hope listing them will put out some energy in the world that will at least get someone to provide some solution to what I’m talking about. And of course, these come with links.

#5 Homophobia

Do gay people bother you? Does their kissing irritate you and make you clutch on to your genitals for dear life? Do you quickly accuse people of being gay because a) you’re afraid to confront your own issues or b) they don’t act the way you need them to act in your stifling gender boxes? Do you try to play off like you don’t hate gay people by saying, “Oh, I meant happy. They seem happy?” Do you find yourself trying to strongly contrast different forms of oppression like racism and sexism with homophobia a little too much?

If so, let it go.

I’m not gay, but what continually makes this struggle real is the consistent amount of teens who come to blogs like this and tell me how much precaution they need to take in their own identity, lest they too be harassed and prejudged. Again, homophobes, get over yourself.

#4 Charter School Proponents

Today, Mike Klonsky completely debunked the theory that charter schools are somehow better than public schools, further solidifying my theory that not all they’re cracked up to be nationwide. While the allure is strong (in many cases, smaller class sizes, newer buildings, bigger contracts, matching retirement plans), there’s a lot more that I couldn’t do without (job security, actual certification for all teachers and staff, and more oversight). And I don’t have a problem with the teachers who choose to go that route. More power to you. It’s more towards the ideologues who think this is somehow a solution to public education’s problems.

It ain’t.

#3 That McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish commercial

It’s so annoying, it’s catchy. Wanna know what else is catchy? (insert crude disease here)

#2 Non-Sports News about A-Rod

For the love of Christ! I get it. Alex Rodriguez is a philandering, flip-flopping cheater for the greediest sports team of all time, but do we NEED to know who and how many women he’s had carnal relations with out there? No. Do I need to know which “exotic” chick or blonde dominatrix he’s fooling around with? Definitely not. Would I like to know how that torn labrum’s doing? Absolutely.

Why? Because it’s about baseball!

#1 AIG / The Powers That Be

I can’t say I haven’t felt the tough economy the way that others with more money have. Those of us who are in the working / poor class seem to have a better grasp on what’s going on simply because they had very little money to begin with. But this AIG business has annoyed me to no end. Because we taxpayers for all intents and purposes basically own this bank and they’re still getting bonuses. Because we taxpayers are seeing one by one either no refund or have to actually pay more out of their pocket because of this economy. Because I’m still not seeing how that huge stimulus bill has contributed to the well-being of the people who helped bail out these douches to begin with.

But the problem I’m seeing with everyone is that we’re not demanding more from our government still. The people need to express their displeasure in the government, or it won’t matter which bank hands out which bonuses; the cycle of economic oppression will continue.

Jose, whose already thinking about remodeling his entire site …

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Just In Case I Forget

by Jose on March 19, 2009 · 2 comments

in life

Chalkboard

Chalkboard

Today, I took the day off. Unapologetically. This personal day was more to catch up to the tons of paperwork I have to take care of, including chapters for books, progress reports, awards for my students, and getting my mind right. The irony that I’d be working from home and actually being more productive from here than over at the school doesn’t pass me by. I knew I need it, and in order for me to stay on top of my game, I needed this day to replenish and make things happen.

Yet, this whole week, as I’ve reflected on my profession, I know that this is my calling. I’m still Mr. Vilson moreso than Jose at any given moment. I still want to tell people to stop chewing gum in front of me. I still look at license plates and birthdates and try to see if they’re divisible by 3. I still have tons of ideas bubbling in my head, inspirational and motivating things to tell my students to get the best out of them. Anything that may make me sharper as a teacher. For what I lack in organization, I more than make up for in creativity.

And tomorrow, when I look at what my students are doing, I hope to see wonderful projects from my students that encompass both their academic understanding and capabilities and their creativity. Even when I’m absent, I’m worried about what they’re up to in my classroom. Sometimes, those dumb worksheets just aren’t enough for me. I’m hungry for more, not just for me, but for them. Even with the constant beatdown of the fluctuations in their comportment, I can’t let any of this get me down.

I won’t.

I love teaching.

And I don’t want anything to stop me.

Jose, who wants to leave you with your own image …

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OMG My Teacher Blogs LOL LMAO

by Jose on March 17, 2009 · 8 comments

in life

Kids In Shock

Kids In Shock

Yesterday, my Google Image results showed up in my classroom computer. Not that it’s uncommon, but more who made it show up. A few of my students looked me up online and thought it’d be cute to revise my photos for some reason.

Photo #1: Looking out towards the sky. Photo #2: Fresh in greyscale. Photo #3: Here’s lookin’ at you, kid. By the time I realized what was going on, 1/2 the glass was staring at my pearly whites, wondering how their teacher actually found his way to the top of the search results, and what was this double life he was leading. On the one end, here’s this mean teacher who only talks about math, has a smart mouth, and a mean scowl. On the other end, the same man’s out there with his own .com, his long-form poems, and a “girl” by his side in picture #4.

Naturally, I do the first thing that came instinctively: I shut down the monitor. No, really. I said, OK, time’s up people. For one, I was annoyed that these gentlemen, all of whom merit an 85+ grade in my class, were focused on something else besides their quarter project. But more than that, maybe it’s my recalcitrant attitude towards my kids finding out that I have this whole ‘nother online personality.

And I took care to introduce them to my “Mr. V” entity. I have an account on AIM, GMail, and MySpace specifically dedicated to most of the inquisitors. Alas, that was not enough. People still got inquisitive.

Teachers in my building have this thing on their RSS feeds. Administrators skim over it to see if I’m alluding to them (I’m not). NYC Department of Education has my site blocked indefinitely.

And isn’t that kinda what I wanted all along anyways? To be ubiquitous and everpresent, particularly for my writing purposes? Isn’t that what’s given me all these opportunities I hold so dear to me? The reason why I’m able to positively influence the lives of dozens (possibly more) past, present, and prospective teachers and so quickly? The platform to voice my opinion when every other section of my life is met with some form of censorship?

Well, looking back at the incident, I probably should have addressed it better. It’s not that I don’t want them to know about this side of me. It’s really freakin’ easy to do so. On the other hand, maybe I should have told them that blogging isn’t a crime. Freedom of expression is a treasure we often don’t take advantage of. Yet, as with anything we do, there is a time and place to do what we do.

And looking up your math teacher in the middle of school when you have a project to do? Nott appropriate.

Anywhere else? Who am I to tell you what to do outside of school? After all, it’s that very freedom that let me write this story to begin with …

Jose, who wishes his younger brother a happy birthday.

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Phoenix

Phoenix

Confession time: this teacher has been a little down on his luck will. My girlfriend pointed out to me this year that I’ve shared less stories about what happens inside the classroom, particularly discussing the kids themselves. At first, I wanted to come up with counterexamples, thinking that this may be some brain warp I just made up myself.

But no, she was right.

And in saying that, she helped me come to terms with my lack of passion which has been replaced with a bit of malaise. I’ve become discontented with some surrounding situations and the futility of the policies and structures (or lack thereof) in my building. This isn’t purely administrative or anything, but I wonder if NYC Department of Education as a whole actually cares about our kids. Thus, as a teacher leader, some of the energy with which I approached my profession became negative thoughts that didn’t let me be the transformative leader I pegged myself to be.

In other words, I officially saw the burnout.

And the burnout isn’t just something you wake up with the next morning and shower it off. It’s like a slow motion plane crash. At first, it’s really fast and you know there’s something wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Yet, you do nothing to change it and just continue spinning out of control. This is where I usually hear “It’s just getting around to the end of the year, of course you feel this way.

No. It’s unacceptable.

I don’t like the feeling of knowing that something I felt so passionate about, so enthralled in, that which succumbs the majority of my life’s work, the profession that has often given me cause to continue on into the next day, would leave me so readily. I affirm that I’m done with the BS, done with the gossip, the hate, the malfeasance, the idiocy, and the lies that have somehow coated my armor during this rough patch. It’s time to get re-motivated and positive about this year.

And so I probably crashed sometime last week just in time for the NYS Math Test. The best part about this crash, though, is that I didn’t fall nose first. I’ve landed softly on this plateau where I can recognize this as a minor setback to the overall plan. Fortunately, I have people I can bounce ideas off of and real patience that tempers me really.

Most of all, I had the wherewithall to, after all the periods teaching, and my presentation about inquiry team, to sit down in my desk, and start cleaning up that g-d-awful mess on my desk. With the hallways silent and the doorways mostly shut, I felt like the last man standing.

I am new.

Jose

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