From the monthly archives:

October 2009

The MVP Matters Less When The Team Goes To The World Series

by Jose on October 27, 2009 · 0 comments

in life

Alex Rodriguez Screaming With Mariano Rivera, Celebrates ALCS Win

Alex Rodriguez Screaming With Mariano Rivera, Celebrates ALCS Win

Quick: name the last 5 (MLB) World Series MVPs (Cole Hamels, Mike Lowell, David Eckstein, Jermaine Dye, Manny Ramirez). Those of you searching on Wikipedia right now hopefully kept reading. Otherwise, you’re probably at a loss. Now, name the last five teams quickly, and that’s probably an easier task (Phillies, Red Sox, Cardinals, White Sox, Red Sox). This is one of the many reasons why I love baseball: the idea that the more people are involved in a game, the more we get to concentrate on the team as a symbiotic entity, joining as one for a common purpose (aside from extracting as much cash as possible from religiously devoted fans of the game like you and me).

Growing up, I liked basketball, because David Stern’s marketing ploy concentrated heavily on the flashy individual or the larger-than-life characters, and society reflects this interest. Whenever we consider “great” series to watch in the NBA, they’re never the team that flows in indiscernible unison like the Spurs of late or the Pistons of 2004. The focus has primarily been on the Lakers with Shaq and / or Kobe, the Heat with Dwayne Wade, the Cavs with LeBron, or Boston with their big 3 superstars. While the models have all proved sustainable for the NBA marketing-wise, the championship teams always found a way to quietly pull their star player back from doing too much and distributing the wealth of stats.

In baseball, making the team feel like a team feels like a much easier task to do. Almost everyone’s on the field for the whole game, and the designated hitter along with the rest of the field position players get 4-5 at-bats a piece. While certain players excel highly at their specific task, baseball demands that those who do well and those that don’t have to put in their share of the work so the whole team can do better. No one can do their at-bat over, nor can anyone come up again in a different spot in the lineup. Therefore, everyone’s gotta do their part to win that game. The teams who strive for the championship can have an abundance of excellent singular players, but the cohesion is so much more important.

I say this because, in my line of duty, there’s a dearth of understanding about how every person’s role in the “assembly line” eventually helps the entire team out. Today, I spoke to a fellow teacher about some of the students in our classes, and how we as teachers are quick to dismiss them as lazy. While I agreed to a certain degree, I also think much of the discipline has to come very early on. We can’t just hope that they’ll “catch on” later on. Every step from classroom 1 to 14 matters in that child’s life, and thus, every teacher that child has should find a means of doing their job as well as possible.

If the 1st and 2nd players up to bat get on base, it’s imperative for the people in the 3rd and 4th spots to do their best to knock those runners in to score. Come to think of it, during any period, a team has at least 3 chances to drive in those runners no matter where the lineup starts from. We as teachers reasonably have around the same chances to ensure that our children all get equitable education. While we may not get paid the same amount of money these professionals do, it’s easily the same mentality and approach we should adopt to our teaching. This isn’t strictly about just the academic skills, but also ingraining study habits and classroom conversation. While too many urban teachers believe the parents are to blame for everything, they’ve yet to look in the mirror and maybe call foul on their own mentalities.

Thinking about my own experiences as a student, almost every teacher I had from pre-k to middle school felt different as teachers. Some were fun; others were strict. Some could come in and create a wonderful learning experience and others only went by the book. Yet, the good teachers far outweighed the faulty teachers, and when one didn’t give me certain material to know, the next year, I picked it right up with a better teacher. Fortunately for me, I never had even 2 consecutive bad teachers in any subject I learned. That may not be the case for too many of our students, and maybe that should make anyone involved in the system of schools think about bridging those gaps and ensuring all runners can come home.

The great teachers couldn’t do it by themselves. They only have a year or two with me at most, much like baseball players may only get that at-bat to make an impact on a player in scoring position. It has to be a line of reliable teachers to keep the line moving. When thought leaders don’t take that holistic approach to child transformation, they end up losing on the back end. Homerun hitters (or in education’s terms, the really effective teacher who made max growth for a student during a year) are cute, but homeruns are truly unreliable. Ask the ‘97 Mariners, who scored the most homeruns in the history of the game, but have yet to win a championship in franchise history. Ask the ‘04 Yankees who were a collage of some of the greatest individuals players you could find, but lost in ugly fashion to a Red Sox team that also had its share of stars, but became this cohesive unit of indestructibility … like the Yankee teams from ‘96 – ‘00 they used to hate. That solidarity is rare, but wonderful for any child to have.

Thus, the Yankees had to reform into a model that included the inexperienced but enthusiastic and the veteran and ever-hungry. That’s why they’re back in a big way. Plus, their pitchers make it easier to bridge between innings. Hmm.

To wit, the teams in this World Series have adopted their team mentalities even as they’re filled with perennial All-Stars. Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Jorge Posada, and Andy Pettitte have each won 4 championships together on teams that embraced the team concept, but, as living legends, never won a championship after 2001 because the organization focused too much on individual power. Alex Rodriguez has phenomenal stats and MVPs and already ranks as one of the greatest to ever play the game, but has never played in a World Series. Brad Lidge has become a great pitcher all over again after becoming the scapegoat for the Houston Astros a few years back. Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins, and Chase Utley seemed like good teammates, but only when each of those players take a backseat to their team as a whole did they win it all.

Like Cole Hamels taking the World Series MVP last year amongst those three. Or even CC Sabathia getting the ALCS MVP after pitching 2 great games in spite of great offensive games from Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter. When you ask those two if they’re happy for CC, they’ll probably say the same thing every other great MVP in baseball has said:

“CC played great, but I don’t care who gets the MVP. We’re just all happy to get to where we are. We all have one goal in mind.”

Are we as teachers just hoping for playoff contention or are we World Champion caliber?

Jose, who’ll be at Game 1 of the World Series tomorrow …

p.s. – This guest post by Jon Becker regarding SABERmetrics illustrates the baseball / education analogy further …

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Writing Is Like Exfoliating From The Inside

by Jose on October 26, 2009 · 11 comments

in life

Friday Kahlo, <i>Roots</i>

Frida Kahlo, Roots

A few months ago, I had the opportunity of meeting Kilian Betlach, writer, former teacher, and present administrator. As most of you have seen on my sidebar, I feature his book This Feels Like a Riot Looks. John Norton and Barnett Berry helped bring us and 10 other teachers together this summer as part of a larger Teacher Leaders Network project, and they’re men who believe people like me and Kilian will be the new wave of teacher book writers. While I’ve never actually written a book, I’ve had visions of doing so for years now, and everyday forms another chapter that inspires me in that direction. Kilian advised me indirectly to proceed with caution:

“I think writing [blog] posts ruined my book voice.”

Say what?

“Well, I got in the habit of writing these posts that were a few paragraphs long, and now I don’t think I even have the stamina to go much further than that.”

Whoa. These thoughts and more have lingered in my mind as I write up draft after draft. Lately, I’ve had to take a day of rest on Thursdays, leaving only 3 posts a week for  my 350+ readers. It’s cool since at least people realize I’m working harder at everything than ever before (while my waistline slowly expands and contracts). Still, I’m stuck in a conundrum. Do I write more often just so I can pick up the pace on the actual writing, or write less on the blog to concentrate on other writing forms? Do I try longer form in hopes that I’ll have the stamina to crank out more thorough essays or get shorter so the actual “book” gets the best material possible?

Furthermore, I’m also struggling with not just the act of writing itself but also delving too deeply into my personal life and trying to make this book unlike any I’ve ever read before. There’s an element to my writing that I’d like to say differs from practically anyone else in the blogosphere and maybe even in education: my unabashed willingness to lay everything out there about myself when it comes to certain topics. It’s in line with the motto “Go hard or go home,” and while it’s great for an audience that we’ve built together, I wonder how that’ll translate out there in a less familiar world where the contact is a little less intimate and instantaneous but also more grateful when the product is well worth it.

A friend of mine wrote to me the other day, “I don’t think I’ve met a person as warm and yet so personally guarded as you since I stopped talking to myself. There’s always so much more in what you don’t say … Damn, you’re such an Aquarius person. Get out of your own head for a minute …” Hovering over some of the notes I’ve made in my mind regarding this upcoming project, and how difficult it’s been to extract that writer voice, the one that wants to discuss topics like suicide, poverty, depression / oppression, religion, race, the failure of one’s nostalgia, and the promulgation of secrecy in the name of bureaucracy in a personal and effective tone.

The same one I use to write many of the blogs written here.

Just having to read about those very experiences and rehash some of the grimmer and even the rhapsodic moments in my life ushers in a rush of feelings that, although familiar, clench at my gut. Thus, my writing becomes a sort of exfoliation from within, where I shed that inner skin bit by bit. For my readers who’ve been on this journey since 2003-4, those pieces I’ve shed here and other venues made it easier to write this now. It’s a funky process, and that can only grow exponentially in the face of 200+ pages of my rawest and decidedly more personal material, but it’s a process I’m willing to take in this path of personal growth.

The friend continues, “[this] probably explains why you’re such a phenomenal writer and thinker.”

So it’s either I go hard or I go home. I’m already home, so there may not be anywhere else to go …

Jose, who relishes a good challenge, even when it’s risking a lot of himself …

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Short Notes: On The Brink Of

by Jose on October 25, 2009 · 0 comments

in life

Muse: The Resistance

Muse: The Resistance

A few notes:

  • I haven’t done this short notes format because I’ve had more to talk about topically. Now, I have a lot less time but more things happening. Perfect for this format.
  • I’ve noticed that many educators in the digital age have taken on the vision of Frank McCourt, who once said that, when it comes to K-12 education, they never ask teachers, but ask the “leaders.” Not that I think there’s anything wrong with being a thought leader or the president of an educational organization. I’ve met many of those types lately due to this venue that everyone and no one knows about yet. When it comes down to it, it’s important for teachers, rank-and-file or otherwise, document their experiences and publicize their experiences in the name of adding more dimensions to the idea of “teacher.”
  • Funny. Right after I wrote that “I Almost Quit Twitter” post, I found a purpose in staying: livetweeting the Yankee games. People seem to enjoy me talking junk about everyone in the field and making obscure reference to Derek Jeter’s throng of women and Bobby Abreu’s hair product. Let’s hope this lasts into November. Then I can publish that “I Quit Twitter” post in my queue. (You guys know I love Facebook more anyways.)
  • Sometimes, I have this theory that the higher the highs, the lower the lows. For instance, this week, as I mentioned on my Facebook and Twitter, I’ve been mentioned in a couple of spots that got me pretty excited. First, there was Tara L. Conley’s presentation on the promulgation of ideas via Twitter, and then Raquel Cepeda’s CNN.com article on the definition of Latino as it pertains to Latino in America the series. In both, the ladies quoted me and I’m certainly grateful. I’ve also started doing a bit of inquiry as it pertains to writing books and articles, and LANSU, my Syracuse University alumni organization, seems to finally be getting its feet firmly set. Yet, all the other personal things have made it hard to celebrate these events. I love the chaos and anarchy, but simultaneously crave a bit of order and regularity. In times like these, when I need the most reassurance and confidence, I also realize I have to find these qualities within and for myself. Otherwise, who will?

Jose, who’s on the brink of things bigger than himself …

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Baptize Thyself in the Waters of Hope (Amen Means I Believe)

by Jose on October 20, 2009 · 0 comments

in life

Baptize a Cat

Baptize a Cat

There’s a theme I have to keep going back to when I write in this blog, and it’s the idea that those who don’t see kids as the future or have any belief in them as people should probably not do a job that deals directly with students to begin with. This is bigger than politics, though every so often, politics injects itself into these disaffected staff members. I’m not simply talking about teachers, even as the front lines happen to have teachers as the first infantry. As a whole, anyone who works with kids and sees them as nothing but scum ought to reflect as to why they don’t believe in themselves.

Let me expound.

If indeed you perceive our students as nothing but scum to spit up and chew out as a whole, then we’re saying, since you’re working with them, that you have no self-worth whatsoever, because why would anyone work with someone or something that’s “beneath” them? For that matter, why would anyone only pretend or mimic the job of a teacher / principal / school staff member when there are people who’d want to do that job from the heart? Just because the students don’t conform to your vision for what the perfect student should be, does that mean they don’t deserve a good education?

Every so often, I start to think about what might it take for these non-believers to truly believe. A little holy water? A true to life baptism? A visit to Mecca? A reality check of biblical proportions? I don’t know. Even those who cloak themselves in “bitterness” may honestly believe in the students, and that’s always a sight to see, like cats who go to church but pretend to sin just to survive.

Baptize thyself in the waters of hope. Believe in the children. Believe in yourself.

Jose, who knows “amen” means “I believe …”

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A Case for the Dinosaurs

by Jose on October 19, 2009 · 2 comments

in life

Dinosaurs!

Dinosaurs!

One day, a group of educators, including myself, was having a conversation about veterans of the NYC public school system when one of my colleagues said something to the effect of, “You see what happened to the dinosaurs right? They didn’t adapt, so of course, they became extinct.” We all blurted out a laugh, especially with the mischievous smile he posted right after that comment.

Then I thought to myself, with all the resentment people have towards the veterans of the system, how often do we really look at the practice of the veterans in our building and highlight those who do a great job? When first coming into the building, I gravitated towards the veterans, unlike other NYC Teaching Fellows in the system. I often found myself renouncing the title of NYC Teaching Fellow just so I could get into those classes and observe every lesson possible. I’d go to ELA class, math classes, social studies classes, and science classes, all while lesson planning and taking stuff with me to my grad school classes, just so I could replicate (and in some cases disavow) the practices I saw in those classrooms.

Thus, it’s hard for me to fully accept the notion that the “dinosaurs” of our system don’t actually know what they’re doing in the classroom. As many veterans themselves have posited, “good teaching is good teaching.” This axiom holds true wherever one goes, and it’s something to keep in mind as we move into the future. Can we honestly ostracize those who’ve been in the system for 15+ years simply because some of their colleagues rather sit out their lives in favor of retirement?

Maybe I’m the fortunate one because I feel like most of the veterans in my school actually have their pedagogy in order, and the handful who don’t don’t actually weigh down the rest of the school. These “dinosaurs” hold down the fort when administrative, systemic, or community changes happen, and they fought hard even when no one asked them to. As edu-crats continue the push for changes, far-fetched, self-serving, and ridiculous all at once, it seems, these dinosaurs actually carry on a legacy that’s impeccable.

Now, I’m not saying that I agree completely with every practice from any teacher who’s got 15+ years in the system. A few of them that I do know are obstinate and jaded, but with a system that doesn’t engross itself in real dialogue but just talking points and doesn’t really believe in kids asking questions but making their whole lives about testing, these veterans debunk that and question that purpose.

Maybe it’s something to think about before we call for every “dinosaur’s” extinct. It’s no wonder why they were 20x bigger than we are now.

Mr. V, who can’t even envision being dedicated to one profession that long …

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Why Your Voice Really Does Matter

by Jose on October 18, 2009 · 6 comments

in life

Soledad O'Brien

Soledad O'Brien

Last night, I and the gentlemen from MiBodegaOnline.com went to El Museo Del Barrio, a museum dedicated to the Latino experience here and everywhere, located in Spanish Harlem, to see a preview of CNN’s Latino in America, a spinoff off the acclaimed Black in America by Soledad O’Brien. She was present to introduce the clips and answer questions regarding the premiere and outstanding issues pertaining to the Latino community. One audience member asked arguably the most critical question about the documentary when he asked, “About Lou Dobbs …”

The audience, at that point, clapped loudly, and Soledad’s smile stretched from ear to ear, as if expecting the question. For those not in the know, Lou Dobbs, CNN anchor and host of his own show, has been at the center of a maelstrom of debate with his divisive comments towards the Latino community as a whole, but specifically illegal immigrants. He’s not only continued to perpetrate lies about the “facts,” he’s also sponsored racist organizations like the Minutemen, an organization that supposedly patrols the borders of the US to contain migrants from other countries, predominantly Mexico.

“About Lou Dobbs … I guess my question is, how do we get him out?”

I’ll presume that he meant to ask Soledad O’Brien what’s a good strategy to unseat Lou Dobbs from his own program in light of his blatantly racist (and other -ists) agenda. Lou Dobbs’ program is on the same network (CNN) as this program, so naturally, people had to ask a seemingly uncomfortable question to Soledad, who’s done her part in diversifying the station’s anchors and shows. While I can’t directly quote her, I do believe she said the network notices when certain programs do well and others don’t. She also said that as long as she puts out solid, nuanced programming, and people keep responding as well as they have, then they will win.

And that’s where I see the power. We have to speak in the language that makes the most sense for whatever the situation is, and master that language in kind. The same ideas we have about visiting a foreign country should be applied to everything we do. If we want more movies with Latinos in it, then let’s go to films that have Latinos in them. If we want more stake in our communities, we need to stuff those ballot boxes and sponsor those events, whether with experience or monies. It’s not enough to just blog, Facebook, Twitter, or whatever modality we use online to deliver our messages when many of us aren’t speaking in the language of the very causes we’re fighting for … we need to act en masse.

After stating her thinly-veiled commentary, a good response / non-response if I ever heard one, she said, “I won’t connect the dots for you.” That’s where you and I step in. Join me. Bring your voice to the fore.

Speak up and speak loud.

Jose, who will never insult your collective intelligence …

Soledad O'Brien and I at the Latino in America event at Museo del Barrio, Spanish Harlem, NYC

Soledad O'Brien and I at the Latino in America event at Museo del Barrio, Spanish Harlem, NYC

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Dear President Obama: The Confidence of the People

by Jose on October 13, 2009 · 4 comments

in life

President Barack Obama in front of a UN Flag

President Barack Obama in front of a UN Flag

Dear President Obama,

First, I must congratulate you on becoming the first sitting US President in 90 years to win the Nobel Peace Prize, adding onto an already incredible resume that for any man, much less a Black man in America, should be lauded for. Despite the controversy surrounding the award, the idea that such a highly esteemed foreign committee of men and women would recognize your agenda as the agenda to follow speaks volumes about the power you’ve demonstrated. It’s also important that we’ve had a president who’s helped empower liberals and the like to take on a more active role in their communities and in their government … even if it’s in opposition to your plans.

That’s where people like me come in. While I’ve silently and not-so-silently cheered you on as a great example of a man, and even as a politician, I also have so many concerns about the direction (or lack thereof) that this country has headed in, I just have to put things out there. For instance, in the first week of school, I showed the video of you giving a speech to school children about the importance of education and for America’s kids to do well in school. I appreciated the gesture, as these sorts of open demonstrations of care rarely happened over the last decade or so. Then, I’m also nagged by the idea that Arne Duncan, Secretary of Education, as your representative for the top education chair in the country and thus, an extension of you, wants to keep pushing a reform agenda that corporatizes our public schools and asks already-cash-strapped states to develop reforms that reflect this more corporate view of public education … or else.

Then, there’s the issue with health care. As a teacher, I don’t have to worry about health care, as it comes with the job. I’m fortunately one of the people who is not directly affected by whether this bill passes or not, but as someone who has too many students whose moms have to work from 3pm – 11pm, whose dads see the inside of their taxis or the machines they work with more than their families. This isn’t just limited to my kids. I’m a man whose friends always have that scare from watching CNBC when their parent company’s stock drops or when the next merger may or may not happen, whose neighbors scratch at broken promises of the lottery and (un)employment agencies at the hopes of striking it rich, even for a few hours a day. In this capitalist society, I’ve been on the side of the triangle where there’s a much smaller chance of winning.

And that’s where I think so many of us who believe in you have our quandaries. What’s the direction that this country’s going? Why do we have conflicting reports about the state of every and anything regarding you, even as they keep changing, even from your own people? I’m not saying I’m in full agreement of everything you do, but the ambiguity and lack of affirmation surrounding you can lead many of us who voted / campaigned / spread the word / wrote songs, lyrics, blogs / defended / felt / heard / cried / held you down to mistrust you. While a relatively small faction of  I know that it’s only been 9 months, and really, I hated to write this knowing how difficult it is to eradicate inefficiency in an organization like a national government, especially one of this magnitude.

Even still, much like the voice you used to get yourself elected, we too must lift our voices. As Paulo Freire, another educator, once said, “The trust of the people in the leaders reflects the confidence of the leaders in the people.”

Trust.

Peace,

Jose Vilson, who has an audacity to hope, too …

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Walk With Your Chin Up, Young Man

by Jose on October 12, 2009 · 0 comments

in life

Batman

Batman

Sometime last year, a young weary teacher walked through a still leaf-laden path along the projects in his neighborhood. Exhausted after a long day and a subsequent pair of naps on the trains he needs to take to and from work, sore from his feet up, and generally in need of a welcoming seat and some food, this young man seemed to drag his book bag along with the rest of his worries rather well. While his knees certainly didn’t buckle from under him, his brow furled and his chin almost touched his collarbone.

Suddenly, a man yelled out something indiscernible. It caught the man unaware, but he knew it came from the clutter of old Black men smoking and playing checkers on the small park benches.

“Walk with your chin up, young man!”

The teacher proceeded to do so with a smirk, but with a realization of what the elder man was asking him to do. He was asking him to be proud of himself, to look up even when the going gets rough, to respect and love life for everything that it has to offer.

“Life is too short to be looking down, man.”

Exactly.

Jose, who hopes you walk with your chin up …

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Why I Almost Quit Twitter

by Jose on October 11, 2009 · 24 comments

in life

Yoda says, "That is why you fail!"

Yoda says, "That is why you fail!"

Confession: I almost quit Twitter.

It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things since the Internet is teeming with social media networks, including my prohibitive favorite, Facebook. I joined MySpace in 2003, Facebook in 2004, LinkedIn in 2007,  and Twitter in 2008. Needless to say, I’m an early adapter, and a big reason for me adapting early is simple: if I’m not early with a trend, I come in very late. It means I get to understand the environment / culture of whatever I’m in, it means I get to help set a tone, and it also means by the time the social networks have way too many people, I already have an enclave of people I depend on for good conversation and transaction.

In each of those times, minus MySpace, things started off small, and then grew incrementally. I was pleased … until I started noticing Twitter trends that annoyed the hell out of me. In order from earliest to latest:

1. The obsession with “following” and “followers” annoyed me to no end. Can we just call them subscriptions or fans? I consider myself a leader, but I don’t like being followed. At all. It’s the NY in me.

2. Celebrities on Twitter, not just because they use it as free text messaging to their other celeb friends instead of, say, interacting with fans, nor because how human it made these “legends” (I love this actually). It’s because of how it makes “normal” people react when a celebrity replies back or, for that matter, doesn’t, whether they’re A-Listers or not.

3. Twitter marketers who tell others how to grow the number of people who follow you instead of talking about how to build more meaningful conversations.

4. The people who ask me to follow them back and when I go to their page, they don’t have anything I’m interested in.

5. The sordid messes of RTs, @s, and #s, especially those who do all of that in one tweet. It hurts my eyes.

6. The spam, the spam, the spam. As a computer science major, I understand how hard spammers are to catch, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying.

7. The lack of true openness in such a purportedly open medium.

8. The personal feelings attached to when someone you know actually unfollows you or whatever have you.

9. The vacuum and redundancy of people on Twitter as a whole (nor does it help when people in my Twitstream retweet those people, thus exposing me to the madness).

10. Twitter’s time as a viable means of real dialogue seems to be slowly fading.

With such a long list, one might think I should have left long ago. Some of my friends from the beginning of Twitter don’t tweet as often for personal and professional reasons. Even the ones who do tweet now don’t tweet as often as they should. Then another bunch just ODs with the sycophancy and don’t really set trends except if it comes after a hashtag.

And that’s sad.

So why stay? Couldn’t I just add them on Facebook, e-mail them, or :: gasp :: call them?

Yes. But until I find the next social network that’s extremely easy to use, keeps me updated in the fashion that Twitter does, and puts me in touch with some great people like I’ve met on there, and readily with no pretenses, I can’t see myself leaving just yet.  Until those last 10 points weighs more than the last point I made, I’ll stay on Twitter …

Then, I’m on to the next one.

Jose, who really wants to know what you think. Am I being too harsh? Too neurotic? Thoughts?

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Salute Me, Sir

by Jose on October 8, 2009 · 5 comments

in life

Mr. Vilson

Mr. Vilson

Today, I found myself in the middle of a pop quiz, and it wasn’t even in my class. As the math coach, I expect certain things to come with the territory. I expected a bit of resistance, and having to deal with attitudes from adults similar to those of the students who some reject. I expected people making snide comments, and negativity thrown in my direction, even when unwarranted. I also expected to see some of the inefficient and frustrating processes that go behind the making of schools in NYC and across the nation. I expected people still acting like I don’t teach a class (I do, on top of everything else I’m doing) or, if I did, I’d take the “best” class, when in fact, I took my English Language Learners, the ones everyone remembers being difficult, and hoping to do my best and make them into positive, responsible teenagers going into high school. I even expected for people to be nice to me and then say things behind my back.

Yet, I didn’t expect my response to it.

My Aquarian tendencies lead me to start mistrusting these individuals, and sometimes making a situation uglier than it needs to be. I could have just said a few nasty things here and there at the person who told me the news, and playing a clandestine game of Telephone. Classless? Definitely. In my younger years, I would have been prone to that.

I’m a little older now.

Today, a teacher told me that another teacher (a doubter I presume) wanted to observe me. At first, I was taken aback, because I was making my rounds through my informal observations, and the lead teacher was a bit surprised, too. Then, in front of her class, I laughed, and I said, “I’ll tell him myself.” During my observation, I mused on ways to approach this, and my thoughts became more sinister as they went along. If he wants to observe, then why not the whole math department? I’d have a “Visit Vilson” week, where anyone not teaching a class during my teaching periods could come observe.

It became a really funny spiral of calamities from there, ranging from having a test or quiz on the day he’s scheduled to intentionally sabotaging the lesson and my day so he’d run around screaming how terrible a teacher I was and how much he deserved the position I have. Both were feasible, though the latter was hilarious in my maniacal daze, but I found it unfair to the process. So what if he came into my classroom and saw what I did? It’s not like he’s never seen that before. Actually, it might improve my instruction or give me a dimension I never thought about as far as my own instruction, particularly my more needy students. If anything, I probably see more gaps in my own teaching than others may.

I went right to the teacher’s room and said, “Hey, I heard you wanted to observe me. I’ll give you the period and you can come right in.” He looked kinda shocked, but just nodded and sat there. I don’t like going around the back of people to get what I want anymore, and that’s transformed a lot of the communication I’ve had. I plan to re-prove myself and get my respect or “die trying.” As I’ve said before, the question as to whether I’m a better teacher than anyone else is up for debate, but I consider myself a good leader, and that’s the difference.

That may be also why I got hired as the math coach: I can see those gaps in the school that I’d be willing to fill. For example, I found a student from Yemen who knew 3 words in English, “I don’t know.” He’s got all fluent English speakers, and now I’ve taken him under my wing. Best believe he learned how to salute me now. It’s like he’s learned what others should have picked up a long time ago.

Mr. Vilson, who needs to get his mind right …

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