Eye
Last week, I had a bad experience with the only class I have to teach this year. It wasn’t a major deal, but on the day before Halloween, after lunch where they’re hopped up on lunch food and inordinate amounts of sweets, with no uniforms on, and the dean in an important meeting, the general security and relative calm of the day eludes us. I planned a whole project complete with rubrics, instructions, and the whole 9. I modeled it for them and I even did a single one that was a little simpler, hoping they’d have gotten it. It took hours for me to get together, and lots of revisions afterwards.
And from all accounts, I may have failed. Hard.
I tried not to take it too personally, but my sense of urgency is much higher than most of my students can fathom. For me, a school year is really brief compared to the supposed curriculum we’re asked to cover. While I’ve been slowing down a lot to try and make sure my students master some of these critical pieces, I’m still struggling with the idea of whether I need to accept this strange phase of change on behalf of my students on some days or simply become more stringent on what I expect. The reactions to the pressure were anywhere from perplexed to irritated, and I’m still learning kids who I’ve had since 6th grade.
Yet, a part of me keeps going. Even when we’re walking in the dark, our retinas flash because we’re still seeking enlightenment. It’ll be fine so long as I keep seeking the light.
Mr. Vilson, who’s honest about writing everyday from here ’til the 30th …
Jose Vilson
I knew the first quarter of the academic school year would try my every fiber. Presently, I’m juggling between math teacher / coach for my school, president for my alumni organization, blogger for this site, writer for a few other projects, and all the personal duties I’ve undertaken, some of which have grown and developed and others which have taken a bit of a hit. The excitement of the prospects and accomplishments I’ve attained in this quarter coupled with the disappointment and pain of the dissolution of some of these relationships has made it easy to become dissonant to the feelings and emotions of everything and everyone. While some may not understand my aloofness even after my gradual openness, my friends and supporters have been there along the way monitoring my progress.
With all that said, I came to a revelation last night after a good conversation with someone about managing my multiple identities. Here’s something to think about: Mr. Vilson is only a part of Jose as a whole. Yes, Mr. Vilson keeps Jose fed, gives Jose multiple opportunities to express his opinions, and every so often, travel to different parts of the country. Nonetheless, it’s only a part of the whole Jose. They directly affect one another, and so when one hurts, the other must listen. When the other succeeds, the other must sustain. It’s a weird balance there that only comes when you’re in the business of doing multiple business, when everything you’re doing is intertwined, timed, and managed and dispersed precisely and in the midst of all the confusion, you still manage to figure out the rhythm of the juggle.
As long as I remember Jose is the whole to the Mr. Vilson part, I can keep at this …
Jose, who appeared in World Series Game 1 on Fox during A-Rod’s last at-bat in the 9th … Weird, but makes sense …
