From the monthly archives:

December 2009

Year-In-Review 2009: Boy, You’re Gonna Carry That Weight For a Long Time!

by Jose on December 31, 2009 · 4 comments

in life

Young James Kirk looks at the USS Starship Enterprise, Star Trek

2009 may never leave me alone. We go through these crazy up-and-downs, hoping not to leave too much on the cutting room of this movie we call our lives. None of the lessons get left on the floor, though. They stick around, secretly making their way into our laments and celebrations. It’s with this that I reflect upon the last year. (Yes, this is a sitting affair.)

By the Seasons:

President Barack Hussein Obama

In the earlier winter, I celebrated another birthday with my first visit to a New York Knicks game at Madison Square Garden, where not only did the Knicks win, but I showed up on the screen for some apparent reason (maybe it was the big hat and big foam finger). Nice highlight, but not even 1/2 as cool as seeing President Barack Hussein Obama get inaugurated in front of millions while Dick Cheney hurt his back on his exit out, even when I secretly questioned how his opponents would seek his death. While In The Heights the Musical showed a positive and vivacious side of the neighborhood where I work, I saw my former student Ruben Redman buried and many other faces file in for his funeral only a month later in shock. Katt Williams taught us to work on the star (fuckin’) player the night I met a good 10 of my current Twitter friends while the New York Post was shooting down monkeys in caricatures, Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna, California teachers lost their jobs left and right, and my age would find the cube of 3. I found classics like Jay-Z’s Reasonable Doubt and books like Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters by Alan S. Miller and Satoshi Kanazawa rather intriguing and vital to my sanity.

In the spring, American Latino TV premiered my interview with them (and replayed it often enough that even people who didn’t even hear about it caught it), I re-met Felipe Luciano, and The Watchmen finally went on the big screen a few months before I finished reading the graphic novel. I made a few personal mistakes that had huge ramifications later, but life still felt good. The huge labor protests that I attended near City Hall barely made a dent on City Hall’s autocracy while we waved to Maino’s remix of “Hi Haters.” We didn’t have time, too busy we were flying, watching Staceyann Chin introduce her book The Other Side of Paradise, watching the mercurial The Soloist with Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx and the refreshing Star Trek with Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto, watching Mos Def and Talib Kweli unite as Blackstar to sold-out audiences at the Nokia Theatre, going to wedding after wedding, wondering how my students would do on the New York State Math Test. Like Downey’s character, I too found my writing catharsis, but this time through Aracelis Girmay at my first Acentos Poetry Workshop. All the while, I started to hear the buzz of the winds of change …

Michael and Janet Jackson, "Scream"

In the summer (as the year wound down), the once and future king returned to my place of occupation, and I was alerted of a math coach position that no one wanted until I took it, putting on Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” while people got used to the idea of me in this new (and not necessarily higher) position. My Macbook Pro came through the door on the same day Apple Co. announced to the world they’d lowered the price of that exact laptop about 400$ (geez), Sonia Sotomayor was nominated and confirmed for the Supreme Court and I went on a 7-day whirlwind tour including Orlando, FL and Hillsborough, NC where I met (and remet) some of the brilliant minds associated with the Center for Teaching Quality and simultaneously giving a workshop on blogging (too easy). The Los Angeles Lakers won the championship, but Shaq never kissed MVP Kobe Bryant’s rear in the process, Julian Bond and Cornel West conversed at Barnes n’ Noble for the 100th anniversary of the NAACP, and The Young Lords celebrated their 40th anniversary. Even Q-Tip rocked out for us (with a secret Diddy appearance) for free in Central Park. Vibe might have covered that better if not for their (temporary) shutdown. New York City’s skies turned red-orange on a weird June 26th, 2009. Was it a forecasting of impending doom or a dedication to souls already past? After all, Ed McMahon, Frank McCourt, Ted Kennedy, and Michael Jackson had all died, the last of whom I spilled my drink for at an end-of-the-year party. Bob Marley had to pass me his herbal remedies in his house sometime in August, and Coldplay with Jay-Z had me “Lost” in the calm before the storm …

Beatles, Rock Band, "Here Comes The Sun"

In the fall, Hall of Fame inductee Michael Jordan blazed another trail into the national zeitgeist by simultaneously crying and shouting out his biggest detractors, even his best friends. Kanye West and Goldman Sachs both shrugged their way through 2009, but only one of them was properly admonished for his act (then again, only one of these entities was completely honest about their intentions). And whereas Obama shouldn’t have commented on one, he definitely should have had more of a hand in the other. Plaxico Burress was jailed for 2 years (and thus ending any chance of the The New York Giants having a championship the previous or this year), Tara Betts showed us The Arc and Hue, and I went Ghost from some social networks in hopes of starting the new school year right and helping my friends mourn the loss of Patrick Swayze (not in tribute to Sammy Sosa’s new looks). In October, I had every reason to scream and shout after the New York Yankees won their 27th championship (my age), Soledad O’Brien gave me (and a few other hundred people) a sneak preview of Latino in America in El Museo del Barrio, Lemon Anderson wowed us with his performance in the one-man show County of Kings, and I became more focused on the education of my students than ever before.

In the winter, my dentist, general doctor, and cardiologist, all new to me, told me I was in very fine shape (though a smidget overweight), and even with these copies of Abbey Road by The Beatles, Day and Age by The Killers, Eduardo Galeono’s Open Veins of Latin America, and One Love by David Guetta sitting on my desk, the greatest gift I got this entire holiday was a peace of mind. And that’s a gift that keeps on giving.

Alex Rodriguez and Jay-Z at the Yankees Victory Parade, 2009

Alex Rodriguez and Jay-Z at the Yankees Victory Parade, 2009

The five major themes of 2009 for me:

5. Independence on the Internet Rules.

Nowadays, the idea of having one’s own web site is normal. People use their own names as their domain names on the web, and having their whole identities on the web is normal. Two years ago, I dedicated myself to developing my Internet identity, and this year, it’s paid dividends. Separate from all these “host” sites, we should have less dependence on other things and people to develop our identities. While some people still find this idea weird, I see how much it’s become a part of me.

4. The Writer’s Inspired.

Everytime I write now, whether in poetry form or scripts like these, the words simply flow from me without little hesitation. It’s liberating in a way, but it also says that I’ve finally found a space in my life where I’m not handcuffed by what I say or do. At least not when I’m writing. Spaces like the Chicago Sun-Times, LiveStrong.com, and GothamSchools found a space for my writing, even if they were just clips.

3. Success Found Me At An Opportune Time.

Mercedes Sanchez and Jose Vilson, LATISM Awards

Every 2-3 months felt like more opportunities blossomed for me. Yes, the American Latino TV interview was rather nice (and a big shout-out to longtime friend Mercedes Sanchez for that), and so was meeting Toure, Soledad O’Brien, Cornel West, Carl Cohn, and Pedro Noguera (among others). Yet, the ones that mattered most to me were the meet-ups I had and even the ones where I haven’t met the person yet. From the people I did get to meet like Tara L. Conley, the social media activist and head of Media Make Change, and Mike Brown, the jovial networker whose meetups and get-togethers got me in touch with lots of others, to the people I didn’t get t meet in real life like Raquel Cepeda, my friendly neighborhood Carmen Sandiego who quoted me in her CNN.com article regarding Latino in America, and Chad Ratliff who’s constantly pushing my ed-thinking, I can honestly say none of my successes haven’t been due to someone else looking out for me.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention people like Louis Pagan, George “Urban Jibaro” Torres, and Ana Roca Costra, founders of LATinos in Social Media, Lance Rios of Being Latino, longtime friends and current collaborators in MiBodegaOnline.com Danny Susana and Argenis Fernandez, Center for Teaching Quality collaborators Barnett Barry, John Norton, and John Holland, the hostess and activista (respectively) of WBAI’s Rise-Up Radio Keisha Dutes and Janna Zinzi, and Aurelia Flores of PowerfulLatinas.com for her consultations. Even a grand (GothamSchools) fundraiser where I was considered cool enough to be in a room with my favorite ed-blogger NYC Educator, Diane Ravitch, and Joel Klein let me know I was on the right track. Like Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year Derek Jeter and the playoff MVP (in my opinion) Alex Rodriguez in 2009, I did more when I focused on myself less.

2. I’m Starting With the Man in the Mirror.

Glass of Blue Moon

In 2009, I started to see some of the stronger parts of my life fall apart. I had a jagged wisdom tooth pulled out and some of my stress pains just wouldn’t go away.  Parts of my relationship started falling apart in front of me and I only had one person to blame: myself. I became a bit of a recluse and delved myself into meeting after meeting, whether it was Elon James and Bassey Ikpi’s Bar 13 joint with Rich Villar and Melissa Harris-Lacewell amongst others or finding the bottom of too many cold glasses of Blue Moons and Coronas, I did everything in my power to take my mind off the plethora of distractions and detractions. People revealed themselves in covert and overt ways, and the only shelter I found was in my recently acquired iPod Touch and the mounds of student work that left my desk as soon as it touched my hands. Oh right, and a little jam I used to snap my fingers to whenever things got tough: “It’s gonna feel real good, it’s gonna make a difference, gonna make it right …” While things all over my life have definitely improved, the lessons still hold true for me.

1. On To The Next One.

With all that’s going on in my life, one might think I was leaving education. A Tweeter commented that my blogs waver from frustrated to hopeful, but always good reads. To that end, I have to agree. Sometimes I blurt out that I want my PhD only to hear about it back at work (I see you, spies). Sometimes I would get frustrated and say I want to be the principal of my own school (I don’t anymore, really I don’t, stop badgering me about it, mmmkay hahah). Usually, I’m happy to be an educator, especially one with a resounding voice. Even with my trials and tribulations, this education stuff has been worth most of the drama I’ve sustained. It’s been hard to read through books like The Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire and Other People’s Children by Lisa Delpit, but it’s a pain recognizing how much I need to be unschooled rather than not having known any better.

It’s not just about pedagogy for me; there’s plenty of that out there. It’s not just about politics; others can handle it better than I. It’s more about those gaps people never pay attention to or ones people refuse to pay attention to because it’s “too easy.” I don’t know whether I’ll still teach in the next 5 years, but I do know education is truly my calling, and every encouraging e-mail, phone call, tweet, or conversation I receive about the job I’m doing with my students keeps pushing me in that direction.

Even with the (handful of) people who keep saying “I’ve changed,” I still consider myself the same Jose Vilson, just a little more driven, a little more focused, a little more motivated to get on that space ship.

In 2010, I’ll have a million ways to get it. Choose one.

Jose, who wonders what’s “A Day In The Life” for you …

Me at the Old Yankee Stadium

{ 4 comments }

Year-In-Review 2009: Top Nine Things I Learned In 2009 [Almost Uncensored]

by Jose on December 28, 2009 · 1 comment

in life

Dr. Manhattan, Watchmen

Dr. Manhattan, Watchmen

2009: the year I finally got more than I asked for. Ironically, I didn’t really get the plethora of gifts, trinkets, and well-wishes I used to get during these holidays, but that may have been to offset the tidal wave of lessons and presents I received from 2009 as a whole. I promise not to get melodramatic in this write-up, but please note that I can neither look at these events as negative or positive anymore than I can look any single person as good or bad, as I have yet to determine their ultimate causality and effect. I do know that it’s made me a stronger person as I’m constantly having to squash the rumors of my demise.

Also, since this is almost uncensored, I’ve certainly walked to the brink of discussing personal situations and people in this blog, but I didn’t. Much the way gentlemen never kiss and tell, gentlemen also don’t spill everything out at once. Thus, I’ve involved no names. I understand I leave myself open to criticisms and discussions after, but I plan to keep cleansing in the hopes for brighter tomorrow.

So, in no particular order, here are the lessons I share and hope to impart upon all of you (in no particular order; I’ll leave that to David Letterman):

Life Is Meant To Be Lived

One of my favorite fellow staff members, Mr. R, retired this year, and if there’s anything he ever left me besides a penchant for insult and impeccable pseudo-administration-title writing, it was that we work to live, not live to work. Often, when I’m under the towers of papers, binders, books, and computer gadgetry, I simply and temporarily disband from the madness and go out. Maybe in the midst of trying to achieve some status, following some superstar mogul who rarely slept, or creating the “next best work,” we need to remember ourselves and living. Our work does not make us; we make our work.

Life Is Wasted on the Youth

I often observe my students in action, looking at them as they live out their mini-dramas, wondering why they even care that deeply. Our worldview often distorts the importance of things and people. I think about this as I look towards Ruben Redman, whose death I almost refused to believe until the new school year started. The more people revealed on my blog and in the news, the more uncivilized the whole situation felt to me. Young people should go out and experience things, live happy and fulfilling lives with little worry about who spray-painted what, whose denomination one belongs to, or what colors shade their sneakers or their skin.

Success Is A Process, Not an Event

People often confuse “overnight” successes with real and sustained success. We look at a news report and say, “Oh wow, that just happened. I never noticed, so I guess they just succeeded at this really quickly.” As I can personally attest to, much of the “work” we see done instantaneously takes lots of the blood, sweat, and tears few are willing to put in (I include myself in both parties at times). When success comes rapidly, that usually means the work behind it was much harder.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I’d love to sit here and tell you life for do-gooders is paved with gold. However, the more good one does, the more certain people demand or envy that which you do. I know, the first temptation of many people is commonly to say “shrug it off.” Unfortunately, it takes more than that. Shrugs don’t support your fellow comrades, and oftentimes, the very people who shrug it off are the people who need the help the most. What’s often necessary to combat this is a personal revolution people aren’t often ready for.

Everything You Knew Is Not Everything There Is

It’s amazing to me how, in 2009, people and events revealed themselves in ways I couldn’t anticipate. In 2008, I steeled my mind unconsciously, preparing myself for the mental challenges of this year. Looking back, I took a few blows and came off those injuries more elastic and less dented. While the impressions and images of people changed slightly, none of it actually took me aback (minus Ruben’s death). Actually, it felt like someone turned off the lights in a hallway I’d already walked through a million times.

We’re Capable of A Lot More Than We Know

Whether it’s a good deed or something more insidious, we humans don’t know the extent of the things we’re willing or capable of doing until we arrive at certain situations. Sometimes, we as humans are tested, and whether we fail or pass those tests, we have to take a course of action from that point forward.

You’ve Never Actually Known Someone Until You’ve Been Inside Them

While I don’t mean this to sound perverted or gross in any way, I’ve found out just how much one can learn from actually getting into their personal space. One never knows anything about their boss until they’ve been to his or her office. One never knows anything about their parents until they’ve gone into their bedrooms. One never knows anything about their friends until they spend time in their house. One never knows a partner (or even a love interest) until you kiss them. The subconscious messages we pick up when we break barriers of a person take sacrifice because it often means we have to make ourselves vulnerable to this analysis as well. However, we learn so much that this information is often worth the vulnerability … and often, the hurt.

The Little Things Really Count

To some of us generalists, the little things really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. As I get older, though, I’m seeing the value of the “little things.” The details in my students’ school work. The greeting in the morning to fellow teachers. The mental mistakes we spew around loved ones, parents and siblings alike. Once the little things get ignored, the pile of little things add up to a large thing that’s much harder to control as a conglomerate than as simple parts un-melded. As I’ve witnessed, years of work can be crumbled into nothingness when that rock becomes too burdensome.

Time Is Relative

Everything we know about time has little relevance to actual time. Our measurements of time make no sense. If you’re going to make change, why wait until January 1st, 2010? If you’re going to be honest to someone, why wait until some designated day when you and your friends decided to do so? With this push on the Internet to have information (with varying authenticity) readily available and instantaneous, our relationship with time continuously changes. In the interim, let’s savor today and every day left in whatever we call 2009.

We’ll never know the things we may learn …

Jose, who has one more year-in-review blog that’ll recap his whole life in about 2009 words (I hope) …

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Short Notes: Replete With Blessings

by Jose on December 27, 2009 · 7 comments

in life

Peace of Mind ... by Ty Moore

Peace of Mind ... by Ty Moore

A few links:

A few weeks ago, I set firm on making sure I upgraded my health. The last time I visited a doctor, he seemed competent until he told me my air conditioner was the reason for my allergies (it wasn’t) and, upon setting up an appointment with me on the phone, said I need to stop smoking (I don’t). That and a crazy bill for what I call a “stepping one’s foot into the hospital” fee implicitly disenchanted me with the health care industry. While signs kept pointing me to not let these little incidents prevent me from staying at full health, I just got disgusted.

Then the pains came. Not just when my cousin died. When I was ready to sleep. When I was getting ready to take the train. On my way to and from work. During work. While I blogged.

All the while, people around me began to fall by the wayside, celebrities and family members alike. Even after my bouts with an extended flu and crazy allergies, I still didn’t visit after all of that. Even the crazy toothache (and eventual pullout) a few months ago, after taking care of that, I decided I’d just ride it out.

Then it happened: Cincinnati Bengals wide receiever Chris Henry and actress Brittany Murphy died.

Usually events like this wouldn’t affect me too much. We’ve become numb to semi-idols dying through various causes. However, their ages alone (26 and 32 respectively) forced me to look myself in the eye and check my ego at the door. No matter how intimidating and insecure the health industry seems, we have to look at our health as paramount to our continued survival.

Finishing my book outline. Redoing my website. Making sure my students graduate. Those other beautiful promises I could see over the horizon of 2010. And the idea that I couldn’t wait until January 1st to make changes in my life. These are the things I would have missed out on if I didn’t take care of these things. So I trooped it over to my new doctor, who did a couple of checks and exams. Then he looks to me and said, “Jose, you just need a peace of mind.”

Alas, Christmas came early. The biggest Christmas gift I got this holiday came in the form of believing once again that things will be alright. Since then, the little pains and aches I had simply went away. My sleep has improved. Even my mind feels less cloudy. Never underestimating the power of pleasant thinking.

I may not be rich, but I am replete with blessings.

And if you’re reading this, the same can probably be said for you. Never forget that.

Jose, who’ll do a year in review post again. You know you love them.

{ 7 comments }

The Big Teacher-Leader Burnout Can Lead to a Blog-Out, Too

by Jose on December 22, 2009 · 4 comments

in life

Fish's Reflection

Fish's Reflection

Last November, Bill Ferriter and I had a discussion about teacher burnout and how those of us who consider ourselves at the forefront of teacher leadership in our respective situations. The conversations kept streaming my way, and while the vets handled this situation much better, the stakes for other teachers only heightened as the year passed by. Being the reflective person I am, I said, “Well, isn’t the solution right in these spaces?” After all, reflection tends to help sow the bits of practice together into one bundle we can better handle.

Then, I noticed the lack of actual writing going on.

Then, it became a lack of socializing as a whole.

Then, I sat there, still typing away, skipping days here and there, when I said: “Can this Christmas break come ANY SOONER?!”

It seems to me that, even those of us who use these spaces to reflect and push the agenda for the teacher / educator voice, we’re still primarily in the school building, in the classroom, in the hallways, in the gyms, and in front of 20-30 children’s faces at a time, draining ourselves of our life energies in the process. How do we get enough time to blog, which is a considerably laborious process for those of us who care about the difference between there and their.

Where do we make the time to formally reflect? I agree that reflection is good, but reflecting formally, whether on paper or on this venue, and documenting that process proves more useful than random musings. What’s your weapon of choice?

Mr. Vilson, who has 1 more day to go before the blue moon greets me in a cold embrace …

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Things Left Unsaid: To My Former Language Arts Teacher (Or What Happened)

by Jose on December 21, 2009 · 4 comments

in life

Bart Simpson, "I Will Not Encourage Students To Speak Good English"

Bart Simpson, "I Will Not Encourage Students To Speak Good English"

I never got why you tried to make me conform to your supposedly standard English … until I read Lisa Delpit.

You see, it’s easy even to this day to look at one form of English as inferior to another (instead of appropriate code in different settings), and when teaching children of color, such a prejudice against (and suppression of) another’s English takes precedence over establishing a meaningful connection between what the child understands and what the child WOULD understand if explained better. And while you certainly did an excellent job of insinuating this to me, Lisa Delpit actually explained the matter clear to me in a way that almost prevented me from even writing this.

But it’s a good lesson for all of you language arts teachers who wonder why even some of your brighter students have no motivation to do anything remotely close to their potential. So fuck it.

In case you forgot, let me recap what happened (a play on words the reader will soon giggle at):

In 7th grade, you, the bearded tall fellow with the nervous caffeine-induced twitch and penchant for particulars, taught me language arts, a class seemingly geared towards the technical aspects of standard English. With orange-red textbook in tow, we would pick apart sentences looking for articles, pronouns, and conjugations, underlining like a literal treasure hunt.

Yet, the games stopped being fun when you took a particular fondness for my use of the phrase “What happened?” after missing what you had said. At first, I would say it once every few days, and you’d correct me with “You mean to say ‘Excuse me.’” I’d say, “Oh …” and go about my merry way. Then, for some reason, I went partially deaf in one ear, or so I’d like to believe, repeating “Excuse me a good 11 times.” My friends who were closer to you said, “Yo, after you said ‘What happened?’ the second time, he said, ‘For each time you say ‘What happened?’, you’re going to write ‘What happened?’ for punishment 100 times on looseleaf front and back.”

I only started to piece together the scene after the 556th ‘What happened?’ with mouth agape, shocked that this just transpired. 7th grade had already sucked from first day to last. While I still did well academically, I was an anti-social misfit, and even my teachers probably found this brown know-it-all-who-secretly-just-needed-some-guidance a bit obnoxious. I couldn’t wait to get to school and just say “Excuse me,” meekly, just to get the big elephant off my back, just to have my good-student-card reinstated, just to ease the glare of those darted eyes staring at me.

I flashed back to this as I read the Language Diversity and Learning chapter of Lisa Delpit’s Other People’s Children, hardly able to get past how much of this experience reflected my own. In it, she says, “Teachers need to support the language that students bring to school, prove them input from an additional code, and give them the opportunity to use the new code in a nonthreatening, real communicative context.” Harder to swallow still is that your role in making my small faux-pas in the context of whether I had an acceptable code of English only solidified who we believed “owned” the language of English. You tried your honest best to superficially teach it but secretly pose yourself the master of said language.

Yet, I write. In that very English. For any language teacher, one might think that the language never reaches to youth like me because of our incompetence towards it. In the face of such adversity by the arbiters of English, many of us can still read and write English well. You might even wonder what happened.

Well, what happened?

Mr. Vilson, who’s often left wondering that, too …

{ 4 comments }

Short Notes: I Like Living This Way, I Like Loving This Way

by Jose on December 20, 2009 · 1 comment

in life

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

A few links:

  • Clay Burell makes his triumphant return to blogging with this random yet well-prosed musing about where he’s been for the last … ever. [Beyond School]
  • Speaking of which, Clay pointed me to a great Seth Godin blog pointing out why you, yes you, need to stop complaining when you finally get a job that gets tough. [Seth Godin]
  • Yes, you heard right: James Chartrand … is a woman. Pointed criticism of the business blogosphere as it pertains to sexism and credibility. Zing. [Copyblogger]
  • Are teachers not professionals? That’s what Damian wants to know when he posted this little bit at his blog. [Apace of Change]

For some reason, these posts always have a thematic serendipity I couldn’t quite finger until tonight. The general theme of melding the personal and informative sing to me the way others probably can’t understand. While most of my actual reading comes in the form of reports, fact sheets, and newspapers (information-driven mediums), I gravitate to the great balance between the personal and informative. While I like having informational blogs, I often find that they regurgitate the same things I’ve read elsewhere. Then, at the other extreme, I find blogs that solely discuss the personal only graze the factual and don’t pack the punch necessary to cross the boundary from OK to good (or for that matter, great.)

Oh, and as promised, a poem:

Brisk evening
Unbuttoned collars
Sweat drops cross foreheads
Inebriated breeze pass noses
Wooden floors streaks with Corona and rubber sole streak
Birthday princesses and quasi-popular stars
Dimly lit lounge with citadel skyline views
Syncopated vibrations knock at each other’s ears
Some voices of family and friends
Others scream for their next taste of forgetfulness
My lips lock and embrace yours
Still  like deers watching automobiles close in
My right hand on your knee, enclosed with your left
Sitting
Danger
Soft, delicate, inevitable
The memory lasts longer than the contact itself
You left me awash with bubbles surfacing to the top of my once calm stomach
Time and space about 5 seconds displaced from my actions
Heart and blood throbs to the beat of our new theme song
Hours pass while my liver goes to work
In time I wake up
Apologize secretly
To the well-dressed man right above us as we partook in each other’s favor
The man who women stared at from all over the room right past me
The man whose rights to you I ignored
Then I caught myself lying
I’m not sorry.
He had to find out about us
The way I found out about her kissing
In passing.

Jose, who was in a giving mood today …

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On Why It’s Lonely Out Here for a Black / Latino Teacher Blogger. Really.

by Jose on December 15, 2009 · 3 comments

in life

img_0566-vi.jpg

Me Looking Out

A week or so ago, I ended a blog entry about my appearance at GothamSchools.org’s fundraiser likeso:

While at times in that gathering, while chewing on some wonderful chocolate chip cookies, I mulled over whether a Black / Latino man severely outnumbered ethnically and culturally in the many educational arenas I’m involved in even really belonged in this set, I couldn’t help but feel like part of a community genuinely interested in bringing positive change to life through this relatively new media.

That’s mostly true, and in my heart of hearts, I’d like to tone down the color consciousness in favor of understanding how many true and sui generis teachers and administrators, promulgating fantastic ideas, and continuing to push a larger agenda of honest education reform here and across the states.

And then it hit me: I might be in a small handful of Black / Latino bloggers who people consider part of this edublog echelon. That scares me.

I didn’t pay much attention to this fact until I saw the latest nominees for The Edublog Awards, a forum I’ve rarely ventured except when asked to do so. I often find that award nominations of this caliber in any arena often help to read the pulse of its constituents, sifting through millions of published bytes by the same process that a microwave heats popcorn. They have as little control over how people vote as the Black Weblog Awards does (except in how they choose nominees, I assume).

I’m neither claiming discrimination nor racism on the part of the organizers, simply because omission from the popular vote works just as well on the Internet as in real life. I’m simply stating that this digital divide even within the edublogosphere makes even the most popular among us question the representation of “popular” as a whole.

The digital divide here not only exists with Black and Latino children and children from urban districts, but also Black and Latino teachers, many of whom still fear the negative effects of putting their efforts on the Internet. Then again, if we think about the digital divide amongst Black and Latino children with access to technology compared to their White counterparts, we still see a big gap, even with all the initiatives used to decrease that gap. This will inevitably add another dimension to the already stratified experiences of education for different groups of students.

The same can be said for teacher bloggers.

Personally, I understand many of the questions Black and Latino teachers have about using blogs and other technology not under Microsoft’s domain. I thusly admit to a few advantages I have compared to other teachers of my culture(s):

  1. I have a degree in computer science, so I don’t have trepidations about technology or information.
  2. I have a good eye for web design, so I don’t worry too much about making things look presentable.
  3. I’m younger, so I grew up with some tech savvy.
  4. I’m also situated somewhere that has a strong union that (however controversial) actually fights to make sure I get due process for whatever I may say and / or do. (here’s hoping the UFT sticks to their guns here.)
  5. I have some serious cojones. Either that or I never developed a real off-switch.
  6. I’ve been told I can write.

Yet, my nervousness lies with knowing just how many strides teachers have made in helping build a movement online pedagogically, professionally, and technologically, evolving the image of “teacher” in many off-shoot but assorted versions that put holes through the silhouette of the aforementioned image with speed … and Black and Latino teacher bloggers have often been overlooked in that process BECAUSE we are so few and far between.

What’s more amusing about this whole thing is that the White educators who I have met have frequently validated and congratulated my work here. From The Weblog Awards of 2007 to the Teacher Leaders Network, these outlets where I’ve consistently found myself as the sole Black voice or 1 of 2 in a room have also helped me my voice as a teacher, something my other spheres of influence on the web haven’t done for me as effectively.

Maybe because of my role as the urban Black / Latino teacher in the edublogosphere, I’m able to have some influence in this dialogue and not leave it up to higher ed professors on TV or people who left the classroom long ago writing in popular newspapers. Maybe my continued focus on writing about that abandoned and desolate bridge where it’s not “edu-tech” and it’s not “edu-politics” will help sand the wooden figure that is our discussion on K-12 education just enough so more people like me see themselves talking more about their experiences.

Maybe I’ll find the answers across that bridge …

Mr. Vilson, who’s always willing to engage in this dialogue …

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Short Notes: I Wish You Insight So You Can See For Yourself

by Jose on December 13, 2009 · 1 comment

in life

A few links:

  • The funniest satirical post I’ve read techwise in a long while. Steve Jobs goes hard at AT&T. [The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs]
  • Matt Taibbi just dissects arguments at the bit. This time, he replies to the mainstream media’s arguments regarding Taibbi’s piece about Obama staffers. [True/Slant]
  • There’s something so fresh about this video entitled “Street Poets.” Thanks, Kevin Jarrett. [Explore.org]
  • Reality-Based Educator, an insightful blogger who I was first introduced to via NYC Educator, is back with a new blog entitled Perdido Street School. [Perdido Street School]

I have a terrible confession for those of you who consider themselves my friends: I wish you the absolute best. When prompted by any one of my friends regarding their futures, I want nothing more than absolute, ridiculous successes and fortunes for those persons, whatever that means for them. If you’re a friend whose aspirations I know too well, I’ll even go far enough to hedge my bets on those fortunes and tell the world just how big I think you are. I know poet friends who I’ve proclaimed as the next “big feature” even when they’re just trying to be lowkey for the night, educators whose credentials I’ll inflate in hopes that they’ll see themselves as the national vanguards I believe they can be, and anonymous bloggers who’ve inspired me to write and thusly wish they’d come out of their shells and own it with their given names.

A part of that is simple selfishness: I’ve learned that someone can define you by the people you surround yourself with, and if I think everyone around me is awesome, then that makes me pretty awesome, too. Having said that, I don’t wish those outside of my circle malice or ill will. I used to do that in an earlier age and my Aquarian nature only made me hold onto them hoping they’d reconsider their ways. Now I have no qualms about letting people go; everyone has to come to a solution that works for them. I can only wish them the best in their endeavors and what they do.

A bigger part of it is that I love watching people I know and care about do their absolute best, regardless of whether I was a part of it or not. Most of the people I consider part of my circle reflect and revise constantly, while holding steadfast to their greatest ideals. They’re the people who inspire me to continue my work, even when the work causes hair loss and bouts with Coronas and Blue Moons. How can I not ask those of you in my circle to kick as much ass as possible?

Maybe you can take this insight so you can see it for yourself …

Jose, who has a huge vision for the future …

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The Perfect Circle

by Jose on December 10, 2009 · 6 comments

in life

Circular Platinum Ring

Circular Platinum Ring

Somewhere in a swanky, glossy penthouse just off Canal St. last night, a group of educator bloggers, think-tankers, writers, politicians, activist, and this guy named Klein c0nvened at the behest of GothamSchools.org, a blog formed under the premise of bringing all these types into one virtual room to have these difficult but promising conversations. Upon receiving my invitation, I already concocted double double, toil and trouble brewing at the chance I might meet the chancellor, who I have nothing against personally, but I’ve disagreed with on a number of moves he’s made (most recently amongst them, closing a little more than 20 schools). I even posted on my Twitter the following:

This is gonna be funny. Going to the Gotham Schools get-together. I promise not to make too much trouble :-).

Naturally, the people at the blog had a small reason to rescind my invitation.

But they didn’t.

Cojones, my friends. With the hors d’oeuvres coming once every 3 minutes, and great personal conversations with the likes of Diane Ravitch, Patrick Sullivan, Robert Pondiscio, Leo Casey, Leonie Haimson, and Jennifer Jennings (of EduWonkette fame), I found myself in a quite comfortable circle. As many can attest to, even with the divergent opinions and personalities in that room, the whole place had a feel like the host’s blog does: disagreement without discourtesy.

I suppose it’s also why I consider myself most fortunate when I consider my choice of profession and vocation. Every opportunity I’ve had to discuss things with fellow educators has offered me a chance to grow. From the ubiquitous NYC Educator and EdNotesOnline to JD2718 and Miss Incognegro, I’m almost stunned at the rapidity of establishing a good model for professional learning communities right here online. Even when these educators don’t discuss education, people like SpeaksBeliefs, Fred Klonsky, and Jovan Miles have a way of keeping my thoughts grounded but uplifted, and that’s important. The list of people I’m indebted to for my sanity spirals around this blog.

Naturally, that’s translated to the life I lead offline. If it’s possible for complete one’s PLN with complete strangers with varying opinions, writing skills, and technological capabilities, it’s quite possible within the people we meet everyday. While most of my friends aren’t educators, most of my closest friends either work in education or work with children, so they understand. Plus, my work with adults has certainly connected me with my manager friends, who’ve probably shaken their head at my stories more than anyone else.

I can’t tell whether it’s because education already has drama interwoven into all aspects of its umbrella or because we all have some crazy mission we’re trying to fulfill for the betterment of our society, but the drama amongst educators in my circle reaches sub-zero levels. I really appreciate that. Very few people in any propitious field have people they can constantly turn to for help or growth of some level, nevermind in many dimensions of their job. I’ve sought to make that a constant reality throughout my professional career.

It’s like drawing a circle on Photoshop or Geometer’s Sketchpad: the closer one zooms into its edge, the easier it is to see the alignment of these unique and connected points (imagine drawing all the tangents to said circle. That’d be pretty). While at times in that gathering, while chewing on some wonderful chocolate chip cookies, I mulled over whether a Black / Latino man severely outnumbered ethnically and culturally in the many educational arenas I’m involved in even really belonged in this set, I couldn’t help but feel like part of a community genuinely interested in bringing positive change to life through this relatively new media. Unlike other places, I didn’t feel like a token or a placeholder, but a vested member, imperative for bloggers who constantly feel marginalized by people who can’t move fast enough in setting real agendas in this new world.

Last night, as I was ready to exit, I saw Kelly Vaughan, the first person to introduce me to GothamSchools. When we discussed my quasi-popularity, she said, “Well, Jose, you run in many circles.”

“This best amongst them,” I said.

Mr. Vilson, who told Pedro Noguera I’d have notes typed up from his conference a few weeks ago, but needed to write this post. It just took priority, man.

p.s. – There are many more to mention. Soon come.

p.p.s. – There’s a poem on the horizon. I know at least one person misses them.

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Follow Me There. I Mean It.

by Jose on December 8, 2009 · 1 comment

in life

josevilsonIf you’re interested in contacting me, feel free to hit me up through three venues.

You can hit me via e-mail here.

If you like my stuff, you can hit me up on Facebook here.

If you REALLY like my stuff, you can hit me up on Facebook here.

If you like me lots, but want to do it under 140 characters, hit me here.

If you want my blog to be sent to your e-mail or want to use your RSS reader to add me, hit me here.

Otherwise, sit back and keep Googling me. I have a feeling I’m an easy one to find.

Jose a.k.a. Mr. Vilson

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