Don’t Talk To Me About Personal Responsibility If …

by Jose Vilson on May 23, 2012

No, not this again.

“This kid never takes personal responsibility for anything that they ever do. I’m standing there wondering why this kid is literally sleeping in my class, so I walk up to him and tell him to get out of my classroom! The nerve of him to try to get one over on me. I get paid whether or not they do well, but for them to sit there and do nothing? Get out!”

Does she even wonder why … nevermind. I inquire a bit more. She replies,

“Well, he comes in with those stupid cream cheese sandwiches from next door and he thinks he’s going to eat in my classroom and get his grubby little hands on my stuff, he’s got another thing coming. And then, he’s getting pissy because I tell him he needs to get ready for class and puts his head down. I can’t stand him!”

This conversation hasn’t happened in the last few months for me, mainly because I don’t eat in the teachers’ lounge anymore (more on that later), but I’ve heard this said so many times, I almost started to believe the hype. I could continue from here saying how my mom, unlike others’ parents, prioritized education. I, unlike other kids, paid attention to everything my teacher said and gave all my teachers demi-god status. Most of my professional, formerly low-income friends of color might say the same things about beating the odds and focusing on their intellectual pursuits.

I’m also privileged to have talents in academics, too. Others might never realize their own privilege when walking into situations with kids.

As most of you know, personal responsibility is often used as a euphemism for ignoring the environmental effects of poverty, race, class, gender, and a host of other isms we all ought to embody if we consider ourselves change agents. Even men of color who came from these tough backgrounds tap into the personal responsibility argument to get into the good graces of people who might not otherwise hear their messages. Some teachers use the personal responsibility argument on its face because it’s a lot easier than navigating through their own frustrations with a system seemingly meant to fail them. Principals and district leaders hawk it sometimes when scores go down more often than not.

The whole spectacle reeks of tree pissing.

Don’t talk to me about personal responsibility unless you balance it out with a good, rich discussion of socio-emotional foci and a keen sense of relationship building between yourself as the adult / teacher and the child / student. For instance, in the midst of discussion, you might hear me say, “Well, he doesn’t work hard enough on this” or “He needs to come prepared for class,” but best believe they know how much I care about their well being. I’ve only sent kids to the principals’ office three times, and I still have a goal of zero. I let them eat breakfast and talk while working, but in exchange, my expectations for their work increase.

I don’t walk around the room with a sense of entitlement, nor do I ever say I’ll get paid for this job anyways because my kids (yes, my KIDS) need to know that there’s someone who simultaneously holds them accountable and tries to work with them as people. Because they are people. That’s my personal responsibility to them.

Jose, who has a conversation with himself tomorrow …

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Alfonso Champion May 23, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Amen.

Jeremy May 23, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Kapow! Love it.

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed May 23, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Poverty, inequality, injustice, all of that which progressives love to stake their altruistic instincts on exist because those in power WANT them to perpetuate. Think of how many politicians would be out of a job if dependent urban underclasses raised to believe that government should take care of them suddenly wake up one day and become self-respecting, self-sufficient, and permanently abandon the culture that glorifies crime, thuggery, disrespect for authority, and misogyny. When you have kids looking to Lil’ Wayne as their role model and wearing their hat backwards and their pants on the ground with boxers sticking out, who in the mainstream of society will accept that?

Bill Cosby has been spot-on regarding this topic for years. So has Philly mayor Michael Nutter. They are not apologists.

Susan May 24, 2012 at 10:35 am

Awesome. Some people just don’t accept that other people have lives outside of their view. On a related note, I know many parents who don’t give a rat’s ass what is going on in the minds of their kids, who just demand – chores to be done, to sit quietly, no talking back, etc etc. Just because they are small or young doesn’t mean they don’t have thoughts, dreams, feelings, emotions. To not respect them and try to understand is a disservice to everyone involved. Children are not robots, waiting for their next command. They are as complex as adults. You would never talk to your colleague, brother or mother like that and expect to not get attitude or negative response in return, so what makes you think a child will respond positively to that kind of negative talk and lack of respect? To get respect you must earn respect. Children are not exempt to that rule.

Matt Mezger May 24, 2012 at 10:54 am

As you know, Jose, I’m old, white, and was born without an ass. Nothing back there to hold the old Levi’s up, if you get my meaning. Eugenics? Whereas over the years, I had always thought the neighborhood kids were just taunting me behind my back, as it were. My point of reference gain was an 18th. Century American banality about “pulling oneself over a fence by your own bootstraps,” today’s bootstrapping. There’s an ugly, scary, word to most kids, it sound like a whipping, and it is. Another thought to be impossible feat, just like a Laffer Curve in economic parlance, we want the most return where we have invested the least thought.

Jose May 24, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Mark, you’re hilarious. Your theory is quite off when it comes to poor students. My issue with Bill Cosby et. al. is that the effects of poverty, well-documented, have happened before rap, rock, or other major forms of music existed, so how can we blame individuals who listen to music for their poverty when the condition existed before the supposed cause? Please. Also, as Matt mentioned, you can’t pull yourself up by the bootstraps when you have no boots.

Like I said, if you’re going to mention personal responsibility, you better make sure everyone is on a level playing field.

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed May 24, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Jose: My immediate ancestors suffered through terrible indignities in the midst of brutal European dictatorships during the last century. They were luckily able to escape and arrive in this country with barely the clothes on their backs and a few possessions. Despite this, they picked themselves up and made something of themselves with little help from anyone. They made their own “boots” because they had brains and a work ethic. They were proud and grateful for what America had to offer. They lived within their means and didn’t complain when things got tough. Why would they, when the worst was already behind them? Nothing that could happen to them in this country could match what happened to their people in Europe during the mid 20th century.

You champion a subculture that wallows in continued failure and self-pity because of poor leadership, poor attitudes, and a poor sense of self-reliance.
Many members of that subculture who can’t figure out what to do are their own worst enemies. No amount of wealth redistribution or special legislation is going to lead them toward prosperity or happiness.

Don’t tell me about not having any “boots” when many boys in urban neighborhoods are wearing $100+ Air Jordans and live in homes with big screen TVs. How many times have I driven into supposedly “poor” urban neighborhoods and seeing Cadillacs and Lincolns parked on the streets?

You want to see REAL poverty? Travel to certain sections of Mexico City or New Delhi, India, where people are living in their own feces inside of shelters made of scrap wood, cardboard, and old blankets.

Jose May 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm

First, to say that real poverty is somewhere foreign when there are kids in southside of Chicago, inner Detroit, Harlem, and a slew of rural towns all over the Bible Belt that don’t know where their next meal is coming from is disingenuous at best. Secondly, why is it only a problem when kids in the ghetto have one little luxury offered to them a year. Third, much like I can’t assume that your ancestors benefited from the expansion of the definition of “white” and “middle class” post-Reconstruction into the 1960′s, you can’t assume that those Cadillacs and Lincolns weren’t pre-owned or reduced.

Most importantly, because your argument reeks of the very tenor I despise in people who stand in front of our (and by our, I mean all) children on a daily basis, I see no correlation between anything you’ve mentioned here and my post. I’m explicitly saying, don’t mention personal responsibility until the playing field is fair. The probability for social mobility is lower than many European countries we compare ourselves to:

http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2012/01/debating-inequality.html

And it’s at its lowest in decades!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socio-economic_mobility_in_the_United_States

P.S. – The fact that you HAVE to put initials at the end of your name when most teachers have to get one at this point only reminds me why I have to address the privilege to begin with.

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed May 25, 2012 at 12:03 am

It’s evident that all you can present as a defense for ineptitude is a litany of excuses from handwringing pundits who will go to most any length to avoid the obvious about many citizens of the United States. Victimhood is the underlying theme in all your posts. People fail because of external forces, not due to a failure of the individual to prevail over their circumstances. This is highly flawed thinking and a major reason why these dire circumstances exist.

I also do not buy the premise that a distressed segment of the U.S. population cannot access food supplies. There are so many programs and charities that provide food for the poor. Some of these people living in climates that permit longer seasons can grow their own food as well if they tried.

Meritocracy makes perfect sense. Those who are the most intelligent, skillful, and hardworking should be the most rewarded. Of course, Marxists tried to eliminate class systems, subordinating liberty and property to the state, and placing everyone on the same plane. Note how that failed miserably everywhere it was tried.

We are nothing like Europe, yet, at least, although we have political leadership that would want us to more imitate the Euro-styled socialism that freely redistributes wealth and offers cradle-to-grave benefits and obscene worker’s benefits like 10 weeks of vacation and unlimited family leave with a guarantee of keeping your job. Sorry, I’d rather keep more of my wages and pay for my own services rather than be highly taxed and have the government decide what’s best for me.

But then, that’s how I was raised, to work hard and accept as few handouts as possible. That spirit of self-reliance permitted me to achieve and earn those letters after my name. I brandish them proudly. I have earned that right because I did the work.

I refuse to feel any guilt for the misery of those I have no connection with. I am not responsible for them as they are not responsible for me. They are imbued with free will and it’s up to them to exercise it.

There is NO provision in the U.S. Constitution to ensure anyone’s prosperity, although too many people seem to believe that a liberal interpretation of its language would indicate otherwise.

By the way, my family arrived on these shores after World War 2 as refugees and remained proudly working class all their lives. We never held our hands out or blamed others for any misery we incurred. If we didn’t have it we did without.

Perhaps your protectorate could learn something from my people, that victimhood only ensures a lifetime of failure.

Matt Mezger May 25, 2012 at 10:12 am

There is a simple grain of truth in all that you said, Hauck. If you didn’t have it, you certainly did without (it).

teachermrw May 26, 2012 at 8:14 am

I agree, Jose. I see the same set of circumstances and hear the same things said, albeit my place of employ is a predominately White, predominately upper middle class, college preparatory school. The students suffer from affluence influenza, and the majority of my colleagues cannot seem to wrap their minds around the fact that there is as much dysfunctionality where we are amongst the student body and their families as there is at the neighboring urban public schools. Poverty and affluence influenza are, at least to me, opposite sides of the same proverbial coin, and both constitute the cockroach on the white rug: we see it, but cannot/do not/will not acknowledge it.

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed May 26, 2012 at 1:56 pm

You may be right, teachermrw, but I’m sure it has occurred to you that given the choice, you’d pick the affluent, because they are far less likely to bring weapons to school, less likely to be adjudicated for petty crimes, and less likely to be engaged in violent acts toward others.

Jose May 26, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Actually …

http://www.huppi.com/kangaroo/L-CJSpoor.htm

Just do us a favor and do a quick search on Google before bringing your soft-core classism here. Thanks, MGMT.

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed May 26, 2012 at 8:54 pm

It’s questionable scholarship to retreat to google and find links to information that directly supports your own biases, especially when it arrives from a website that likely copies its content from other sources. There is not an original piece of research on Tom Huppi’s website.
He is as flaming a lib as you can get. It’s the same as if I cited Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck or Bill O’Reilly to support my argument.

Huppi’s most fatal flaws are his conclusions drawn from his research. Although the stats he cites are correct, that generally poor people find themselves more on the wrong side of the law than those who aren’t, the correct conclusion would be to blame those poor people for making bad behavioral choices in the first place, not the institutions discharged with the responsibility to hand out consequences.

An individual makes the choice to commit crime. Life is all about making choices. It’s not society’s fault if certain people or members of certain groups become predisposed to repeatedly breaking the law and being prosecuted for it. Huppi suggests that miscarriages of justice create these inequities. Huppi should do a report on the FBI’s uniform crime statistics (available on line) and see which racial group gets arrested for the most violent crimes in the U.S. Of course, liberals blame the police for bias … yadda yadda yadda.

What liberals can never get through their soft skulls is that there will always be haves and have-nots among ALL races and ethnicities. It’s the strongest and most intelligent among each individual racial and ethnic group that rises to the top of their respective heaps.

It’s like not every person out there can hit home runs or score 40 points in a basketball game. It’s a fact of life that some people are going to be better than you at certain things. I wish I could play guitar as well as Jimmy Page can, but I know that isn’t going to happen and I’m not expecting anyone outside of myself to correct that inequity.

But, sadly, the race baiters and political opportunists looking to stir the pots of unrest have to always make it about a competition between races, ethnicities, and economic classes because why?

Because pain and misery is all they know and they want everyone else to feel the same way. It also helps them form power bases and attract tax payer $$$ to fund their causes. The cause of inequity is a profitable cottage industry and you, Mr. Vilson, are contributing to it and not receiving a dime for your effort.

How does that taste, to be exploited like that by the slick hustlers in their $1000 suits appearing on TV and radio crying about the poor and how we need to tax the rich more?

Jose May 26, 2012 at 9:09 pm

OK, cool.

Since you’re probably going to continue in your soft bigotry and manifest destiny after this comment, just know that a) I’m quite capable of making my own conclusions, thanks kindly, b) you just used a platform where I ask for a balanced approach about personal responsibility and made it dichotomous and argumentative for no reasons and c) most kids in the neighborhoods I’ve come from and worked in actually don’t have aspirations for basketball or rap, but professions just like the ones the American dream purports to distribute fairly. I’ll let you keep commenting because we need more people to see the type of mentality I and so many of us real educators need to fight against, the type that says that you as an “M.Ed” have independent thought even if you use the same talking points as Drudge or the New York Post, and I don’t because I cited a fairly well researched article. Even if I too have one of those.

Also, I get that you want no change for a system so unfair to millions of people because it benefited you. You’re going to have to comment after this because when you’ve dug yourself deep enough, the only way out is in.

Good luck and good night.

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed May 27, 2012 at 1:43 am

Life is neither just nor fair, Mr. Vilson. When will you learn that?

The only thing you can cite is a website that essentially copies point by point every historical revisionist tract written by Noam Chomsky or Howard Zinn. That’s not good enough.

The only education you and others like you can impart is how to wallow in victimhood and avoiding personal responsibility for your own situation.

This mentality is why such a large part of the urban black community fails to evolve and continues to be mired in decrepitude.

Really, what can be said for you, the fan of an extreme leftist radical from the 60s and 70s who led a bunch of cop killers and bowed at the altar of Chairman Mao, the butcher of at least, according to statistics, nearly 40 million of his own citizens during his reign.

That’s right, how many millions of people have communist dictators murdered over the decades?

Let’s go, use those expert googling skills of yours and tell all of us. Then tell us again how communism is superior to a representative republic like the U.S.A.

Remember, if you hate America so much, you are always free to move to Cuba where most peasants with little money dine on boiled grapefruit rinds (but they have free health care).

Matt Mezger May 27, 2012 at 10:28 am

“McCarthyism is Americanism with its sleeves rolled.”

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed May 29, 2012 at 5:27 pm

So Matt, how many news stories are we going to read about union thugs physically intimidating voters who are not voting Democrat at the polls this November?

Michael Doyle June 2, 2012 at 8:29 am

Dear Jose,

Your kindness handling Mr. Hauck speaks volumes, and your wisdom allowing his neo-racist rants here show what our children face.

He does not sound like a happy man, but so few living in his imagined world are.

I find it telling that he has comments locked on his blog.

(I have been rocked by your last few posts, and again, you have pushed me to change who I am in (and out) of the classroom. Thank you.)

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed June 3, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Again, for those who fail to comprehend, my blog does not prohibit you from responding.

As for yiu Michae4l Doyle, you are another cowardly lib in the education profession who won’t speak honestly about race. As I’ve written many many times before, it is ludicrous to label someone racist, or in your terms “neo-racist,” for criticizing the advocacy that purportedly works in the best interest of poor urban black communities.

This very advocacy you are too cowardly to criticize is exactly the reason why so many poor urban blacks still continue to fail. Until the individuals in this unenviable social status stop blaming external forces for their plight and begin taking ownership of their own plight, then nothing will change.

Of course, the political leadership within the Democrat Party, your saviors, don’t want it to change, otherwise, they would be out of a job.

Think about it, if you dare.

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed June 3, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I’ll add this … people like Chairman Vilson and his blogging buddy “The Field Negro” are the Useful Idiots for the Left, fomenting the unrest the aforementioned Democrat Party powerbrokers require.

This is exactly the reason why race hucksters like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are still permitted to hang around and have access to national platforms

Jose June 3, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Thanks, Mike.

He’s a racist and a bigot, but that’s OK because he doesn’t actually care about kids. From everything I’ve read, the culmination of his multiple personalities have been ::ahem:: given him some time to harass all my friends on the Web. With all the time he has on his hands, you’d think he’d make comments on his site open. Not so, because that means all the people on Connected Principals, all the people from the schools he used to occupy, and all the commenters to this site would actually get the chance to reply to his multiple personalities on one site.

The problem these days is that trolls have Wi-Fi under their bridges, but that’s OK, because I’m actually going to let him write a post for me. Right here. For absolutely nothing. Stay tuned. ;-)

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed June 4, 2012 at 8:52 pm

As I wrote elsewhere, any criticism of liberal advocacy on behalf of the “poor” is met with charges of racism and bigotry. As I’ve written again and again over the years while posting to blogs, usenet, or message boards, charges of being a troll are simplistic means to label those whom offended parties cannot dissuade from not posting. Comrade Vilson, you’ve scored a 100% in all categories, you’ve made your pals from the NBPP very proud.

I have yet to receive any responses to my blog posts via my email account addy, which is clearly posted. This means that you aren’t interested in making your points known since you won’t have an audience to back you up. That’s among the funny things about libs, they think as a mob and fear standing alone against dissenters who challenge their views. They want to go public so their lib cohorts chime in with their parrot lines. I consider it pathetic that you would consider blog contacts as “friends.” You’ve likely never met them or even know them very well. Sorry, but I have a much more stringent criteria for friendship. I could never consider someone whom I only know via the net a “friend.” It’s a ridiculous notion.

Harass ALL your friends? You only have TWO friends, Comrade Vilson? I posted to teachermrw and matthew mezger’s blogs, that’s it.

I don’t expect anyone to post my retorts, You and anyone else are free to delete or moderate any comment I make. As long as I know I have free access to your response forms, I can make my own choice what I wish to do. By allowing me this access you are in essence giving me a free pass.

Personally, I could care less if you or anyone blocks me. There are enough libs in the blogosphere to attack for the next twenty years.

Now, don’t let me keep you from stewing in the self-flaggelation of your victimhood mentality.

M. A. Hauck, M.Ed June 4, 2012 at 8:56 pm

By the way, please don’t try to tell me that you’ve never criticized Israel’s defense policies vis-a-vis the West Bank in your lifetime. I personally consider any such criticism as anti-Semitic and those who support the murdering Pallys are creeps, in my estimation.

Matt Mezger June 5, 2012 at 9:13 am

The Field Negro? That’s it, indeed. Hauck, you astonish me! Black Dahlia Black. Malcom differentiates between the black and the house negro, whereas the Negro lives in the master’s house, and so has a vested interesting in it. The black would just as soon burn it down, given the opportunity.

Jose June 5, 2012 at 9:33 am

And it’s a wrap. :-)

Jose June 5, 2012 at 11:00 am

Oh, before I go, colleague Scott McLeod is the man.

http://bigthink.com/ideas/30722

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