I became a baseball fan when I was around 9 years old, when the Yankees were getting their butts beat in the division by the Orioles and the Red Sox. Bernie Williams was still getting booed and everyone except Don Mattingly knew they weren’t going to make it to the championships. Buck Showalter did break us into first place in 1994, but in that year and 1995, we won a playoff bid … and that was about it.

Joe Torre came in at a time when there was lots of promise, but more uncertainty. He had a bunch of stints with the Mets, Cardinals, and the Braves. That wasn’t very productive other than a NL Division Series with the Braves. In other words, a whole lot of nothing. Before the Yanks, he was hoping people remembered his more prolific player stats. Since he came though, it’s been nothing short of magic. Some say he just rode Buck Showalter’s coat tails, but that’s far from the truth.

The truth lies in that stoic face that lies in the dugout under the fresh brimmed hat and the saggy jacket. It lies in the little drag-trot to the mound when he relieves a pitcher, or even in his post-game interviews when he turns the tide on a rather hostile New York sports media. It’s his decision-making that was really critical to Yankees’ success. He took the core group of Andy Pettite, Jorge Posada, Mariano Rivera, and Derek Jeter, and molded them into the exalted men that we know today. Outside of Gary Sheffield and Kenny Lofton (who are both so popular, they’ve been through almost the entire league between them), he helped transform the images of plenty of men. Everyone from Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden to David Wells and Bernie Williams benefited from having Joe Torre there as an example of good behavior.

4 World Series, 12 consecutive appearances, but also a man who exemplified the strength of New York during 9/11 and with his own personal battles with domestic violence (upon him during his youth) and prostate cancer. He was usually the voice of reason and the bed of emotion when we needed it. Even when he faltered during the 2006 playoffs (worst move: moving A-Rod to 8th, which I’ll discuss if / when there’s a Yankee decision about him), he still found a way to make the team gel.

None of this excuses his 3 straight early exits from the playoffs to teams we were heavily favored against. After all, we know he’s coaching a 200$ million club, and they have the greatest of expectations. He’s the 8th winningest coach, and the one of the greatest coaches in the modern era in any sport, and he had the highest salary of any coach, making at least 2 times more than the next highest paid coach.

And to this, I say, “So?” This year has been the 2nd most trying year of his career professionally (last year was the most). His team was 21-29 and 14.5 games back of the rival Boston Red Sox. The New York Mets were primed to be the #1 team and were in this city for much of the year. Every pitcher except for Andy Pettite had some sort of injury, and we had 13 different starting pitchers in lieu of that. Even with their backs against the wall, they never lost their composure. He kept the team’s demeanor very professional, and he’s also the only manager who could probably handle the situation of a group of $200 million egos with everything from public infidelity and endorsements to whiners and steroids. He covered Brian Cashman’s ass even when he didn’t intend to, blunting the deathly sword of imports like Hideki Irabu, Carl Pavano, and Kei Igawa (still a pending situation).  And most of all, he’s had the longest tenure of any Yankee manager under the Steinbrenner era; that’s coming from an owner who publicly tried to dig up dirt on his own players and managers just to get rid of them.

He had his faults, and that’s something we all forgave, like abusing his relievers (Tanyon Sturtze and Scott Proctor) and not letting pitchers always go full innings, which led to the former problems. Yet, he was a man who beat and surpassed the odds. He just made everything feel like it was going to be alright, and that comforts us. Things are so unstable in life, and his consistency always reassured us. Before him, we had 17 Yankee managerial changes with 9 managers, so I’m sure we’ll never have that kind of manager for the next decade or so.

Personally, Joe’s someone who exemplifies that leadership so many of us wish we could be, and in times of tumult, he came through. He left on his own terms, and that’s the best we could have asked for as an organization. The contract wasn’t good, and a very condescending and merit-based contract. His leaving truly signals the end of an era for the Yankees, and with George Steinbrenner looking like he’s on the outs, too, it’s only right that Yankees Stadium’s occupation will soon be over.

You can’t replace a man like Torre; you can only hope to be close to average.

jose, who’s humming “New York, New York” by Frank Sinatra …

Yesterday afternoon, I attended a panel discussion entitled “Black, Latino, Both” sponsored by the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture (of which I am now a card carrying member) and el Museo del Barrio, and it took place at Harlem’s Schomburg Center. The panel featured Howard Jordan, Clarence Lusane, Yvette Modestin, Angela Perez, and Silvio Torres-Saillant, who I know from my Syracuse days. While I’m not inclined to discuss exactly who said what, I do have some notes I’d like to share on a rather excellent panel meeting. I’ll definitely have to go over some of these topics again during the week, but for now, these are only some of the great sub-discussions we had at the panel. (I’m trying to take a 2-hour discussion about a topic spanning 500 years into a few paragraphs. Fun.)

- Anyone who’s read my blog for a while or even took a look at my name can pretty much gather what my identity is. Yet, that’s a challenge if you’re simply taking me at face value. Honestly, people don’t know how to act when I reveal my ethnic make-up, and that works two ways: I have an identity I’ve self-developed and people have their own perceptions of what I am. Those are not mutually exclusive of each other. To the contrary, that’s the essence of understanding the race logic: race isn’t about what you see, it’s about what you think you see. And I’ll never be “Black” or “Latino” enough until people really understand what those terms truly mean.

- Arturo Schomburg. Carlos Cooks. Felipe Luciano. Men who most people would associate with either Black or Latino, but in actuality, were Black Latinos like myself. I only knew of Felipe back in freshman year of college when I first got to meet him, and the rest of them I didn’t find out until yesterday. Unfortunately, that’s what happens when both communities fail to address AfroLatinos. The names of so many other AfroLatinos who fought for their communities were obscured by their own people, and that’s unfortunate. I know a Black Latino college student-activist back in the day who could have used those role models for community activism.

- People within a certain race are not a monolith. Definitions of what it means to be part of a race change vastly depending on place and time. For instance, Jews and Italians weren’t even considered to be White until decades after coming into this country. In the same way, Blacks and Latinos don’t just have one ideology, one perspective, or one religion. There are certain trends and connections amongst many of these groups, but we don’t all have the same interests at heart, either.

- A crucial point of discussion was the evolution of the ethnic make-up of baseball players. For the last decade or two, baseball has become an increasingly Latino sport, though it’s still marketed America’s favorite pastime. Gary Sheffield once said that, despite Jackie Robinson and Larry Doby’s efforts, there are more Latin players than Black players in baseball now because Latin players are easier to control. He elaborated by saying Latino players will get sent back to their countries if they don’t comply, so they have much more to lose. Of course, I agreed with the premise of the argument, as did many of his Latino teammates (those of whom already have their citizenships and paid the Republican Party some dues).

- In connection to that point, there was also a mention of Sammy Sosa, David Ortiz, and Manny Ramirez, men who in this country, most would identify as Black men, but when asked, they identify as Dominicans … strictly. While some people may take issue with their identification, I completely understand what these players are talking about. If you’re coming from a completely different racial paradigm than the country you’re visiting, then of course you’re going to strictly identify with your nation. As someone mentioned on the panel, it’s really easy for someone who identifies as a certain group to tell someone else what their race is, without even knowing where that person’s coming from. And that’s not always a good thing.

- Then there’s the issue of immigration, and how it relates to the American workforce. Vicente Fox once sad that Mexicans will take the jobs that Blacks don’t in this country. This is with the premise that either Blacks are lazy, incompetent, or acting too good for a broom and mop. The point disturbed me for a multitude of reasons. The government instills policies for migrant workers that makes them into nothing but rotating slaves. Corporations never have to worry about minimum wage, health benefits, pensions, or anything of that nature for workers who don’t have any rights in this country. Plus, the very people bringing those migrant workers here have agents working to tell working class communities here that immigrants from all around the world are here to take their jobs, so of course on the surface, it’s easy to diminish migrant workers as sub-human.

- Lastly, the one solution for many of our social ills is not through developing some sort of hegemony. Rather, change will come from a multicultural group of concerned citizens. I try to build those coalitions wherever I go, and the results have usually been nothing but positive.

jose, who loves to hear everyone’s opinions on these topics, not just my black or latino brethren …

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be …

While everyone’s been hitting up my blog for the #1 search term for this website / $252 million dollar scapegoat of the New York Yankees, I had but one thought: let it be. I’ve had the song in my head since I envisioned my Beatle-themed post over the last week or so. It was like a message to me about the Yanks. There will be Canadian locusts in game 2 of this year’s playoffs, opposing teams playing like mirror images of the Yankees dynasty teams (2003 Marlins, 2006 Tigers, and 2007 Indians), New Yankee Stadium curses , and #13’s clutch moment that wasn’t back in Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS. Yet, it really all comes down to just letting it be.

I haven’t responded to the last posts’ comments because I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the idea of idealism, especially as it concerns my favorite team and my profession. It’s a trait I’ve come to love / hate. It works well with other idealists, but doesn’t work as smoothly with pragmatic points of view. For instance, during my training for this position, I was told (notice I didn’t mention names) that my idealism wouldn’t make me a good teacher, and I wouldn’t make it through my term.

Since then, I’ve managed to inspire a hundred plus kids, and have enjoyed my job thoroughly, even to the point where I might want to do this for life. Teaching math is in many ways satisfying. Outside of the politics, it’s become a platform for growth, and I love discussing my experiences with friends and family. While it doesn’t have the social stature it does in other countries, I’m certainly shown a lot of respect and admiration by my people all around me, and that’s rewarding in and of itself.

Yet, I look around in the edu-sphere and try to understand how some of my fellow teacher bloggers and co-workers got to the point that they did. Very few of the teachers have maintained that idealism; is it because of age or does the environment matter? Does idealism have an inverse relationship with age and wisdom or do the actions and policies of the greater administration takes these idealistic and young men and women and remake them into bitter and angry veterans?

I see the value in fighting for one’s rights in a time when the higher-ups constantly want to put a dent into the civil rights and personal freedoms many of us enjoy. We need speakers and protesters for the voiceless and weary. On the same end, we don’t hear enough stories about what’s happening in those classrooms, and getting a chance to represent our profession to its fullest extent. Some bloggers do an excellent job of detailing their triumphs and troubles, but in general, even when I read some of my angrier posts, I ask why we’re even in the profession to begin with.

Of course I love being a teacher, and this profession has led me to a wonderful group of people far and near. It’s also given me a world view of my profession, and how on World Teachers’ Day, we still preferred apathy and misery over optimism and idealism.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, …

jose, who’s back to watching the Boondocks episode he missed last night …

I just got back from a really good rendering of the TV-to-silver screen movie The Simpsons Movie, and it was awesome. It fulfilled its enormous expectations, and I’m really happy. This could have been an absolute bomb like so many TV-to-movie movies are, but no. I’d rather not give any spoilers here, though I’m sure they aren’t hard to find at all.

Once I logged in, I checked my Slimstats and noticed I’m the #1 search for “Alex Rodriguez steroids.” Apparently, Jose Canseco made some interesting allegations against Alex, stating that he had something “in store” for everyone in his next book. In response to the linked blog, I responded

“Great. Now Boston fans’ll start wearing T-shirts that say ‘Jeter Injects A-Rod.’ Because that’s exactly what we need right now. Wasn’t it enough for Jose to ride the bench for the 2000 Yankee championship or to be part of one of the greatest Simpsons episodes of all time?”

In short, I believe:

ALEX RODRIGUEZ DID NOT DO STEROIDS!

Really, as right as Canseco’s been about everyone, the list of guys he named before were people the common sports fan could point out. But A-Rod? Really? I call BS on it for three very simple facts:

1) When’s the last time A-Rod’s missed an exorbitant amount of time for injuries?

2) A-Rod’s head’s actually grown smaller since the Texas days, which says a lot. (If you’re under the NY media scrutiny, that’s easy.)

3) Alex is practically the same size he was since he started in Seattle.

Maybe it’s also because I consider myself a big fan of his and really rooted for his reemergence since last year’s abysmal playoffs. Maybe it’s because I’m also biased towards the Yankees, my favorite (winning) team in the world. I can’t see the shock of this wearing off anytime in the near future. Baseball also might be in shock because he’s the clearest hope for a steroid-free player to clear out Barry Bonds’ soon-to-be home run record.

However, that’s mainly because I wholeheartedly believe he didn’t do steroids. He got a little bigger only during last season, and that slowed him some, but he still put up some awesome numbers nonetheless. This year, he’s having a phenomenal year, and for Canseco to bring out this information now is consistent with wanting to make sure his book does well. If he really did do anything out of the ordinary, we would have seen Alex amongst the 20 or so players subpoenaed by the government, or at least in the Game of Shadows book when so much of the steroids research was done or even his first book, Juiced.

More importantly, though, I want to see this ugliness over. Most baseball fans can agree with that. Once the last of the prominent steroid figures leaves, the rest of us can get back to actually enjoying baseball as the sports it is and not in this Cansecoism (think McCarthyism) we’re constantly under.

G_d, Canseco, you’re ruining my first name. Be gone, please.

jose

Yesterday, ESPN’s Sportscenter had an exclusive “town hall” meeting in San Francisco, CA, to discuss Barry Bonds and his pursuit of the homerun record. It’s amazing how many fans really cheered him on, and still do. What’s worse is that, I’m cheering him on, too.

I’d love to tell you how morally upstanding Barry is and what a wonderful human being he is, but by too many accounts, he’s not. I’d also love to tell you that I’m enamored with the idea of him breaking that record over someone who actually earned that record through blood, sweat, skin color, and tears (Hank Aaron). I’d love to stand alongside many of my colored brethren in support of Barry, because he’s public enemy #1 and we as a people understand the implications of being guilty until proven innocent but I’m not.

Dude did it. That’s something we need to stop playing ourselves with. OJ was an awesome football player at the college and professional level, but he most likely murdered Nicole. Michael Jackson was the king of the 80s and even the early 90s, in music and pop culture, but he definitely bleached his skin, uprooted his naps, and touched kids inappropriately in those camps. Unfortunately, the evidence against Barry is overwhelming, and everyday something new is coming out about Barry. Barry’s gotten a free ride as far as I’m concerned, and has the money to show for it.

Yet, I’m happy Barry has the potential to break that record; after all, baseball as a community allowed for this to happen. With all the Mark McGwires, Jason Giambis, Jose Cansecos, and Gary Sheffields, we just allowed these juiced players to break records all while Bud Selig rolled in the dough these men were making for him. Sports fans, managers, owners, and the mass media all had a role in allowing steroid users to do as they pleased. It’s like we asked them to do that for us in our orgasmic need for the long ball.

Will he make it into the Hall of Fame? Most likely, and that has everything to do with the moral burdens placed upon the voters (sports writers from all across the country). Why are we holding these guys accountable for what MLB should have fixed in its own sphere? It’s akin to having a kid who’s been behaving badly for the last 7-8 years and then sending him over to his grandfather’s house to get punished; it makes one wonder how great a parent this kid had to begin with. And unlike the aforementioned kid, I wonder whether these baseball players can come back reformed.

He’ll still make it in; Barry Bonds was once a fantastic baseball player everyone could at least trust. He had a stank attitude, but we knew the guy could rank up there with the great baseball players of all time if he continued on that path before 1998-9. He was a 40-40 threat every season, and played defense like his life depended on it. An MVP candidate even before this madness. He had 3 of them before the steroids. Yet, something about him said, “If Mark and Sammy can get all this love for breaking Roger Maris’ single-season record, imagine what I can do if I took the stuff.” What made OK players into awesome players turned awesome players into icons for an entire era.

Maybe this will all go away if / when Alex Rodriguez surpasses Barry’s record (estimate: 768), but if it doesn’t, we’ll still have to smell the residue of a sullied record and the final stain left by the Steroid Era of MLB.

peace,

jose

p.s. - The New York Yankees are hot, and A-Rod is doing as well as I hoped he would. I’ll not jinx them anymore.

Alex Rodriguez comes up to bat against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, bottom of the 8th with the bases loaded, and I’m yelling at the screen like, “PLEASE! Oh my G_D no! They’re gonna boo him, and he’s going to blow it.” I shut my eyes for a bit and went back to my writing as A-Rod struck out in fashion.

Of course, the boos came with a thunder only NYY fans can produce, and it hurt a little bit because I’ve pulled for him since 2004, when we wouldn’t have even had these A-Rod conversations if it wasn’t for our choke at the hands of the Red Sox that year. I’ve also denounced what it means to be a true Yankee other than years as a Yankee, only because some of the Yankees we consider to be “true” were paid mercenaries, and before free agency, the best players came to the Yankees with no restrictions.

Yet, we lay all these ridiculous expectations on A-Rod because the Yankees are paying him 16 mil a year (the Rangers took 9 mil off Steinbrenner’s hands), which makes sense on paper, but ridiculous in real life. Often, what matters in a person’s image is the ratio between people’s expectations of you and how you as a person react and enact those expectations.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about myself in that respect. People who love(d) me have always had high expectations for me, and have looked to me because I wear many hats. I’ve succeeded in many aspects of my life, and often carry an omniscient demeanor. I play the role of brother, son, teacher, student, friend, listener, lover, … the list goes longer than I could have imagined and I play these roles as well as I could.

As of late, though, I’ve felt these roles become far too heavy for my person. I began to take out my frustrations on the easiest parts of my life, such as my loved ones. At first, it showed up as a little acid in my stomach, but by today, it grew to a full-blown cancer. My childhood ailments began to resurface in a cloud of insecurity. For the first time in a few years, I feared not having the fortitude to play these roles for the ones I loved.

After some counseling over coffee from a loved one, shopping and a wicked double feature also known as Grindhouse, the stars realigned in my favor. I look at my own life now and realize that only I can live my life and this never ending quest for excellence will come with pain and suffering; if not, then I’d have nothing to sell in my soon-to-be best-selling biography (Even in pain, I have to have my wits about me).

---

Down 7-6 with the bases loaded, A-Rod came up to bat again. Down 2 strikes, A-Rod saw the ball coming at him and turned it back around in glorious fashion. The Yankees win 10-7, and A-Rod comes out for the curtain call. It’s still April, and when October comes, he’ll now look back to this moment and become the A-Rod we hoped to acquire way back in that infamous winter.jose, who’s the first teacher ever to get a multi-million dollar signing bonus from the NYC Board of Ed, so don’t hate