Am I sure I want to make this kind of leap?
Why leave the confined of a blog where I amassed what feels like thousands of comments (100+ comments in my “Fuck Bush” post alone)?
300+ subscribers?
almost 5 years of blogging?
Tons of forwards, friends, and acquaintances
And I was able to start some shit at will?

Good question …

A year ago, I started this humble blog in the hopes of upgrading from an energetic and random blog to a more personal and grown-up vision for how I wanted to represent myself, not just on the Internet, but in real life. While my site, The Jose Vilson, is really my home, the blog under that name is really the mouthpiece, analogous to rap’s role in the hip-hop culture. While there the other elements of hip-hop like breakdancing, turntablism, graffiti, and knowledge make their presence felt, rap is the centerpiece now for the rest of the culture.

In February, I was just trying to find my way around this vast blogosphere, hoping I could take some of my Xanga brethren along with me for the ride. That worked only within my inner circle (you know who you are). Thus, unlike Xanga where it’s much easier to reach out to others, join communities, and subscribe to other blogs, and have all these activities neatly centralized, I had to go and reach out to the blogosphere is much more messy, hoping my Google results let me run into someone who shared a similar interest in topics I held most vital in my mind. By May, I had already settled on writing about teaching, because I didn’t find very interesting educational bloggers through any of the search engines at first.

I would be the first Black-Latino NYC / LES educator / poet / blogger, and that’s my niche, and I wouldn’t compromise my message for fear of retribution from any school district, board, administration, or any other person who even remotely knew me. No pseudonyms. Just me.

But of course, I couldn’t arrive at this by myself. Despite my independent nature, I have a great understanding that, like the blog carnivals and Technorati authority numbers we see around the blogosphere, I couldn’t have arrived at the place I’m at without a little help from some awesome bloggers. Naturally, I’m inclined to thank NYC Educator for his awesome advice regarding my classroom situations. His was the first blog I read dealing specifically with NYC education, and he pulls no punches. I also thank him for linking me and one of my first popular blogs (”16 Things I Learned This Year“).

NYC Ed led to me meeting many of the blogs I link to or have in my Google Reader or blogroll. Miss Profe, who introduced me to other underrepresented bloggers like The Field Negro, a man so popular now, I can hardly get to the bottom of his box comment to write to him. Just his link to me in his “Blogs I Am Feeling” section led a lot of traffic this way, and I couldn’t be more grateful. From Miss Profe, I also found thefreeslave, who in turn put me on to the Afrospear. Of course, that group helped me find other random blogs like The Unapologetic Mexican, and the slew of Latino blogs I needed to balance the other parts of my identity. Of course, the Carnival of Education helped me find teachers like Repairman, dy/dan, Frumteacher, and Ms. Whatsit.

And before I knew it (July 2K7 or so), I stopped blogging over there and focused on blogging here. Finito …

But even after 4 layout changes, 84 readers, a Weblog Award finalist award, and 874 comments later, I’m still humbled by the love shown to my blog. Granted, it takes a while for me to write these essays after my long day at work, and it’s more about staying reflective in my teaching and life in general, but I also see the importance of sharing those experiences with people around the world. As cheesy as it sounds, I would prefer that I stay at the level I’m at if it means I can keep inspiring others at the rate I’m at than becoming more popular and not inspiring anyone at all.

Because of this blogoversary, I present my top 5 lists …

My Favorite 5 Blog Posts:

1. L’Chayim: I Wish For You 100 Years of Success But It’s My Time
2. Walk On Water
3. A Synopsis of the Road Less Wanted
4. Having Your Cake and Eating It Too, Workshop Model Style
5. 16 Things I Learned This School Year

My Posts I Wish More People Read:

1. Actions Affirmative
2. It Doesn’t Feel Right
3. Follow The Leader
4. Love, Reign O’er Me
5. I Remember When … (School Edition)

Top 5 Post Topics That Didn’t Quite Make It Out Of Draft Mode

1. The day I found staplers in my pastelito (I still get queasy thinking about it), then had a roach slip out of my piece of cheesecake, and when I went to shower, there was no hot water … all in a matter of 4 hours ….
2. My dedication to Joe Budden (cool dude, but Mood Musik 3 wasn’t better than MM2)
3. Why I can’t stand those kids who still wear 80s gear like Reagan’s still alive
4. My workout plan (because I stopped doing it for a good 3-4 months and only recently resumed)
5. A flashback to my days in Catholic private school (it’s not ready yet)

Top 5 Reasons Why I Really Moved to My Own Site

1. If you’re a writer that has the means to host your own site, have control of its content, and use whatever editing software you want, then you should have your own blog site. Ownership of your own material is important.
2. It’s rare to find Black- and Latino-owned blog sites in general, so here’s +1.
3. I hate having to Google my full name and find everyone else but me.
4. As previously mentioned, there aren’t many (any) bloggers who write about my experience at all.
5. A deep-seated necessity for needing to change my space.

Top Five Tag Lines I Might Use Again in 2008

1. jose, your favorite math’s teacher’s favorite math teacher …
2. jose, who laughs at sites like Boycott Chuck Norris …
3. jose, who wishes he could thank every single blogger, new and old, that shows him love, which he might have just done …
4. jose, who has constant cravings for some …
5. jose, who stands by his contradictions …

jose, who must do this again next year …

A few notes of interest:

1. Yes, I cleaned up around here. Click refresh, and tell me what happens to that header. Do it a good 7 more and you’ll get your wishes granted ;-).

2. The oddest thing happened on Friday. One minute, my Feedburner says I have 83-93 readers, and the next, I have 299! Sick. What’s more, it goes back down the next day. Weird.

3. Yes, it’s my birthday on Thursday. Fun.

4. Memes that highlight the differences between men and women / Blacks, Whites, Asians, Latinos, etc. / rich and poor in a defensive and divisive way bore me to tears these days. I used to be enthralled by them when I was younger because I was able to contrast my unsophisticated observations about those differences and the ill-conceived notions of roles different people take in those stereotypes. While I agree that some stereotypes come from real research, I’m more ready to believe that those lists along with hack comedians and delusional, angry people make these lists up to reinforce divisions amongst the sexes, races, and classes when we’re really all people.

5. Cloverfield had an awesome preview, but it was an awesomely bad movie. Great effects, and snide social commentary that in some ways, I found interesting, but that ending was abrupt as all hell. Rather than make us think for a second, it made us think to leave. People in the audience laughed about as much as they were scared and grossed out. I wouldn’t watch it again, and I want some of my money back, but if you do watch, prepare for the worst.

6. Yesterday was my boy Omar’s birthday, and whenever we all get together, it’s just a mess of historic proportions. We went to Carmine’s, a popular Italian restaurant on the Upper West Side with family-style dining. Anyways, Kenny, one of the realest dudes and resident ALM (Angry Latino Man), Mike, my homegirl’s boyfriend, and Omar had a heated discussion (some in the restaurant might have called it an argument, but that’s besides the point). Every so often, I’ll interject with an off-beat joke here and there, but last night, I was more good for a hearty, body-aching laugh.

As I’m observing them, I notice that, on their side of the table, Kenny’s sitting on the left, Mike’s on the right, and Omar’s at front and center of the table, appropriate if not ironic. At first, it was pleasant enough, with each side making their points, but then it got really intense, curses being flung across the table and the rest of us caught in the crossfire. I’m all for political conversation, and all the participants brought up awesome points from their side. Yet, what struck me the most was how, after all of that, they’re still friends.

Of course, I was more on Kenny’s side of the argument, even if I was sitting on Mike and Omar’s side of the table. After all, how can anyone at the table argue against poor people when we were all the sons and daughters of immigrants or poor people? We were all the privileged offspring of people who had just enough of the essentials, and for many of our relatives and neighbors, they weren’t lucky or privileged enough to receive a college education and live on a a much better income than minimum wage. It’s easy to dismiss that when we’ve never had to experience that for ourselves.

Not to say that our fathers were anything like Phillip Banks (of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air fame), but we sometimes get the Carlton and Hillary effect, where the parents consciously protect their children from knowing about those struggles or the children live incongruously from that reality, concentrating solely on case study of self rather than percentage. Will, the hoodlum he is, often reminded them of the position they’re in and from whence they came, which is why Ashley, the most liberal of the three Banks offspring, turns out the way she does. She was still rich, but she got a better sense of what came before her, and that’s important.

But I’m a socialist by nature, so I’m inclined to this opinion, and I’ve already written my stance on all of those matters, but my opinion doesn’t dismiss their contributions to their families or their people. After all, we still shared our personal lives with each other, and ate from the same dishes. There’s still, inevitably, common threads of human decency that run through all of us at that table, and somewhere in between all of our arguments lied the solution: a huge plate of ice cream with all the fixings. We all sat there for a good 5 minutes, quietly letting the food settle. Mike ate the candle apparently, mistaking it for licorice. Omar and I laughed about stupid MySpace people. Kenny started hating on people. We left the restaurant and all went our separate ways, but we’d see each other again. As it should be.

jose, who can’t stop looking at his theme, and has Pearson and Aaron to thank for the inspiration …

I’ve been tagged by JD to do the 7 Things Meme. I really thought I got hit with this meme, but it was really the Crazy 8s, so technically I never got hit with the 7 Things Meme. That’s weird coming from someone whose made his rounds and then some in the blogosphere, but I guess it’s only appropriate.

1. My blog runs on a schedule: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. I did this in accordance with my own schedule, and have been since 2003, so it works for me.

2. I usually get mistaken for an English / Social Studies teacher until it comes time to calculate the bill, tip and everything.

3. I have a good 5-6 posts on reserve in case I ever run out of material to discuss on this blog, but the world spins far too fast for me to not have anything to discuss. Come to think of it, I have a good 7 posts in my head as we speak.

4. I used to be a devout Catholic until I found how much of that religion was clouding my judgment. I also researched Islam and Buddhism, but frankly, I’m far too unstructured to care much about any of it. I don’t hate on those who do practice the religions; oftentimes, I have to participate in Catholic rituals due to my family. It just doesn’t work for what I believe, and the more I find out, the less I’m inclined to become part of any specific religion, denomination, or anything of that nature.

5. I have met at least 5 people from every other forum of Internet expression I’m actively involved with except for this blog. On Xanga, I met over 80 people, but only 30 of them intentionally. On MySpace, I met a couple of people here and there. On Facebook, I met maybe 2 of them as well. On this forum: zero. It looks like that might change soon, but more on that to follow.

6. I actually like it when I find something damning about my heroes and idols. It makes them human. When I found out that MLK Jr. had extra-marital affairs, or Malcolm X was once a slick hustler, or that John Lennon used to do tons of drugs, I became even more enthralled in their lives. I mean, the man who we consider Jesus Christ (Yoshua bin Yosef, Horus, the Sun) used to hang with the lowest of the low in his heyday.

7. I’m not as anti-Bush as most of my brethren. Let me explain: Bush is the epitome of American corruptive audaciousness. Not only does he not really care for the people of this country, he’ll tell you (read between the ill-written lines). And if he doesn’t, then everyone else in the office certainly will. For this small cabal of masters and corroborators to exalt GWBush into this position in the face of the American people makes the rest of the country look like idiots for not seeing exactly why and how this all happened. I think Bush is appropriate for a people so apathetic and disillusioned with concerns of whether or not presidential candidates should wear American flags on their lapels or which celebrity will make it to the top of the news before they find out how many more young people die across the Atlantic and within our own borders. This country deserves Bush, and if you say you hate Bush, but can honestly only site that he looks like a monkey, that he speaks funny, or that your friends are anti-Bush so you have to stick with them, then you deserve Bush, too.

Extra: For a blogger, I’m a much better listener than I am a talker.

jose, who finds it disconcerting that these points of view are called radical when I’m just saying what the news is telling me …

I recently read on Slate.com that not only is Big Brother watching, but he’s also trying to get into my library, keeping records of the types of personal items I keep and stuff I do on their planes. I wonder what Osama bin Laden’s reading list looks like and if they compare it to my own. I was recently on an airplane on my way to Florida, and everyone but me on the plane was wearing a suit. On my left was a lady who was reminiscent of Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada and a dude on my right wearing a distinctive red turban, and I facetiously thought, “Who’s really the terrorist?”

Speaking of which, I had a discussion of sorts with some anonymous guy in front of the airport as I was waiting to get picked up. (He was smoking a fragrant, green substance wrapped in brown paper). As we get to talking about the 9/11 stories and such, he said something very interesting: “I knew that whole shit was rigged, ’cause I was watching this television interview, I’ll never forget it, 3 years after the attacks, someone asked him what his thoughts were on Osama, and you know what he had the nerve to say? ‘You know, I don’t really think about Osama much these days.’”

Wow.

By the way, I’m sorry if I have a hard time giving thanks to bloggers who namedrop me. I’m usually so humbled, I don’t even know what to say except thanks. To that end, thanks to Hasta Los Gatos Quieren Zapatos, Siobhan Curious, Teaching is Learning, and anyone else I didn’t mention. Just because you’re not on my blogroll doesn’t mean I’m not watchin’.

On another note, the Jena 6 march looked like it was a success. What disappointed me that day was the lack of all-black wearers in my own school (For those that didn’t know, on September 20th, people were asked to wear all black in support of the Jena students). With the density of Blacks and Latinos at the school, I would have thought that there’d be more than 3 teachers wearing it. Then again, people either never “heard of” the Jena 6, ignored it, or realized that most of our kids have never / might never leave past a mile of the school’s region. Sadness.

My father’s in better shape, so thanks to everyone who had him and my family in their thoughts and prayers.

The Yankees look like they’re closing in on another playoff berth huh? …

jose, who’s in heaven right now …

edit: by the way, now my blog is black, white, and read all over, too. har har har …

2nd edit: My Blogcritics article about Black History Month was published. Check it out when you get the chance.

Back when I started blogging my life away back in 2003, I never thought I’d actually continue it with the intention of addressing issues of interest to me. I felt it was more a personal thought journal, something I’d use to emulate the last sequences in Doogie Howser M.D. since I didn’t have his word processing program on my computer. Now, 4 years, a few pseudonyms, and millions of blogs later, I’m doing it under my name, and that’s immensely important. I now claim my own piece of the Internet under the name that I use in the real world, and that’s something people have slowly started to see as important.

When I started out on Xanga, I never had the intention of using it for anything other than personal. It was limited in scope to a few of my good friends and anyone who ended up running into “Latino,” “Black,” and “Syracuse University” in a search. For any writer, that environment becomes addictive because I wrote, and a bunch of people respond in the way they see fit, a perfect way to test one’s skills.

Soon, though, it became a vehicle all its own. I wrote, and massive amounts of people responded. I got subscribers from all over the world, and more anonymous hits than I thought were possible. I would write about any and everything that came to mind, and people would respond overwhelmingly.

But then something weird happened. I began to meet the personalities behind the pseudonyms. I met scholars, models, students, poets, people with dreams and ambitions, huge Yankee fans, aspiring entrepreneurs, and people who just needed a direction. I’ve been all over the country, and met hospitable people along the way, most of whom I’m definitely seeing again. I’ve even had people stop me on the street and ask me if I was that “blogger.” They all had a common thread: they were honest people who found a freedom within the Internet that they were not afforded as they grew up.

By this time, I found myself responsible to my subscribers, breaking down current events and esoteric themes into words that the “people” could understand, and that drove me to become a better writer, polemicist, and person. Amongst many people, I found a position as a vocal piece … but under an identity that was me, but not under my name.

Then it occurred to me how we all used these cover names to deflect that attention from their real world persona. I find it almost ironic that people have become increasingly scared of employers and the government finding out about their Internet matters when the Internet for so many of us is a primary source of liberation for not only bloggers but anyone with a keyboard, mouse, and a hook-up.

After more than half of my subscribers in that last site met me on a personal level, I began to write for what interested me, and not for the vast comments I might get. And with the inception of this new blog, it was important for me to show people the “real” me, whatever that means. It means now when I write, it’s attributed to my real life persona, just as the world intended. It involves a huge risk; what would happen if I said the wrong thing or two, and Bloomberg and Co. decided my checks should stop coming in from the DOE? Or if my former stalkers connect the dots between my blogs and send me crazy shit over my blog? Hmm …

Fuck it. I’ll deal with it when the time comes. In the meantime, thanks for reading. I got an education post coming up this week. I’ve been trying to not talking too much about my actual school, but I realize that for teachers, that’s an impossibility. Peace …

Breakthroughs in the way people communicate often leave the older technologies at a search for its own identity. This is especially true in today’s media (most visible within sports and news). Sometimes when the old media tries to find its identity, it finds ways to destroy any and every other media outlet without much success and with a heavy backlash.

For instance, there’s been a few instances in which radio or television personalities will lash out at bloggers for simply reporting on rumors or offering their (often popular) opinions on certain topics.. While it’s true that sometimes the bloggers get it wrong, it’s equally true that these entities have also gotten it wrong. Hence, bloggers end up looking like saints while these older media entities look like morons for not adapting.

Of course, there have been many trailblazers on the corporate level that have adapted to the ever-growing blogosphere. Some, such as Keith Olbermann and Mark Cuban took it upon themselves to become more accessible through this media, and that’s awesome. Also, some of the independent bloggers have been bought up by the bigger media companies, and that sounds like a win-win: the blogger gets more publicity for their own writing and the corporate looks like it’s in tune with the people’s wants.

But, but, but … there we run the risk of another big-company takeover. The trend happens all too often: small startups start a trend and shift the way people think, and the media company, whether it be fear or similar goals (usually the former), take that company over before it becomes too big and out of their control. While it profits both entities in some way, the movement itself usually suffers. It hurts to say, but blogs will go from buying in to selling out.

Does this mean that whenever the masses have an independent and opinionated movement, it’ll get bought out by one of the big companies out there trying to control every and any form of communication out there? Who knows? Personally, because there is a movement that still hasn’t been squashed (”illegal” downloading), there’s hope for the people just yet. Until then, I can only hope that blogs carry on the independent tradition we’re so desperately in need of.

(By the way, I’m doing alright after having written my most personal post on here. I’m only scratching the surface in terms of my writing / poetry / publicizing, but it’s coming along. )

jose