I got a gift from my stepfather. It’s weird because frankly I don’t expect anything from him and never have, but indeed I have this wrapped present in front of me, and it’s been sitting there waiting for my approval. I wonder what it is now that I’ve waited this long to lay waste to its wrappings. Certainly, that’s a different tone than has been set in this household for quite some time. While I don’t want to divulge too much of my history, I will say that the nights of loud salsa, rum aura, and angry family members hopefully is a thing of the past, and that has everything to do with me.

See, the problem with Christmas is that, as a child, I was always and forever entitled, hoping this ginormous White dude would suddenly appear in my hallway and slide a gift under my Christmas tree … or two, or three. And then I started noticing that I didn’t have a chimney from which Santa could climb down like in the commercials I saw on Fox Saturday morning. These images conflicted with what I learned about the Season of Giving through my Saturday Catholic classes and my Catholic education. Then, I noticed less presents and less family time. And of course, we had next to nothing, so every time I did get something for Christmas, I was ever grateful …

Until I was 13 when I got my Super Nintendo (I can’t believe it’s been 16 years since I got it). I was such an ungrateful little one. I immediately connected it, and didn’t thank my mom until it was a little too late. For 10 years afterwards, we’ve had oscillating success with this holiday, and ever since then, I’ve been trying to rebuild what I want from my family. Not so much from my stepfather’s side, who seems to have sealed its own fate, but my mom’s side. At the very least, the set of cousins and brothers we have in that collective could form some sort of bond, and maybe we’d get a little snowfall in the process.

After getting my first salaried job as a teacher, I decided to make that particular Christmas the one I forgave everything and everyone for. I kid you not, I gave gifts like I had lost my mind. I started saying grace, which is weird since I don’t really believe in any religion per se. I started to actually have serious conversations with my other family members, at least the younger generation. I started to feel like I had a family again, and this time, it was a feeling I didn’t want to let go of.

Now, that energy has been transmuted back into my elders, and that’s really what these holidays should be about. What’s the point of going to services and masses when the temple inside your home’s a wreck? My spirit replenished and refocused, I can celebrate togetherness all year round, with a special day to keep me on track …

On the 1st Day of Christmas, G_d gave to me
12 gifts from my kids
11 pieces of chocolate
10 comfy sweaters
9 pounds from my fam
8 drinks to choose from
7 calls from my friends
6 plates of good food
5 COMMENTS FROM YOUUUUUUU!!!!
4 people in this house
3 happy males
2 brothers sleeping
and 1 writer spreading the peace …

jose, who’s about as happy as he’s been for any holiday …

Imagine there’s no Heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today …

Field Negro’s contemplations about religion, Lupe Fiasco, my grandfather’s memorial service, and other personal issues really had me thinking about the positions I’m taking in worldly issues. It made me think about the existence of Heaven and what it means for so many of us trying to find meaning in our lives. It’s about 12:53pm and normally if I was a practicing Catholic, I’d be in church right now. Instead, I think about why it is I’ve left the pipe dreams the church sold me almost 10 years ago. We’ve become so complacent with everything around us …

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
We’ve sat down and watched as the world around us and everyone else’s individual interests overshadow the collective well-being of the proletariat. It’s almost as if we live our lives wantonly, waiting until the very last moment to reconcile with ourselves and our relationship with the G_d within us. There are wars going on, famine, sexism, racism, unneeded death, and all sorts of pestilence ravaging our world, but many of us accept it because, as much as we preach change, we’re really not.

You may say that I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Even personally, we have issues with our parents, friends, lovers, co-workers, strangers we randomly meet, children, students, employers, … that list is interminable, and yet we constantly try to find a way to find a balance. Some of us go about it one way and end up miserable, while some of us have been successful in that endeavor. I’m personally still trying to keep things in perspective. Maybe it’s my Aquarian nature to think so idealistically about the state of the world, but there has to be a time for us to finally come together.

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world …

And I’m not saying some of these issues don’t happen for a reason. Problems throughout the world are in constant reaction to the last action, similar to a pebble in a pond, and the more pebbles you put into the pond, the more the waves crash with each other. Think about the constant intersections of rupture, and somewhere in between them, a plateau of stillness.

You may say that I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

Imagine if we weren’t simply searching for utter happiness, but peace. Simply being angry isn’t going to do anything other than alleviate my emotional wounds. Acting and being part of the solution has become so vital to my quest for true peace. Everything is relative, and when we put our lives’ pieces in proper perspective, it becomes a lot easier to imagine that reality …

jose, who wonders if someone noticed the theme since last sunday …

p.s. - Shout-outs to:

AM, who wrote a really good entry about me,

All the Carnivals I forgot to highlight as of late like JD’s Carnival of Math 18,

Evolution’s Carnival of Education 139,

Global Citizenship in a Virtual World’s Carnival of Education 138, and

EducationWonks’ Carnival of Education 137.

I’ll do a better job after this, honest.

When it comes to my principles, I didn’t tell them who I quoted from, but I had a discussion around them. What’s great about these principles is that I get to discuss them while secretly learning more about who they are as people and as students. I tested their ability to follow procedures and respect others’ opinions.

Of the few passages I’ve taken with me from the 6 years of Catholic school and the extra 4 dedicated to Communion and Confirmation, it’s the miracle of Jesus walking on water. For those who aren’t Christian, the story goes that, after Jesus died and resurrected on the 3rd day, he started appearing to the disciples randomly wherever they went. One of those appearances was Jesus, walking to them on water, as the disciples were on a boat. Jesus calls out to Peter, the head disciple, and says, “Walk with me.” He starts walking to Jesus a little bit, looks down, and realizes how deep it is, and so begins to drown.

The story in itself is nuts, and I love it. Even in allegorical form, it transcends its religious tone into something that I feel everyone can learn from. It was even more ludicrous when Jay-Z, who often describes himself as Jay-Hova, said in one of his lyrics,

“How could you falter when you’re the Rock of Gibraltar?
I had to get off the boat so I could walk on water.”

I’ve never heard anything like that; not only did he just compare himself to Peter the Apostle, but describe his situation in the controversial breakup of Roc-A-Fella Records, a record label that at the time was dominating rap music, but he had to leave to get greater opportunities. In other words, he put one of Jesus’ miracles in terms that, while blasphemous in some circles, let people who don’t even follow Christianity could understand.

I interpret walking on water as not just taking a risk, but taking such a huge risk that it takes a lot of faith as much as it takes planning. While it’s not prudent to just jump at everything that comes your way, sometimes when the timing’s right, that leap of faith can earn big returns.

Personally, I use it with the kids because it’s too often that kids are afraid to take a risk. I took a risk with the kids I have, as many teachers this week told me how intrigued and confused they were by my selection as a 6th grade teacher, preferring that I stayed in the 8th grade with the “tough” kids. I countered that maybe I didn’t choose the kids, but certainly these kids were chosen for me.

I’ve never taught the grade, and now we’re both going through this journey together. While hopefully raising them up a couple of grade levels, I also hope to inspire them to become better people. That’s something I lost last year in some ways. My first year I did a much better job of inspiring young children to become better students, and even if I just planted the seed, that seed blossomed well into their 8th grade year. Oftentimes, I’d look down at my feet, and sink gradually, wondering if those piranhas were going to nip at my toes in the process.

With this new year, I’ve got the fantastic opportunity to get my kids into the right mentality for the rest of their lives. With an optimistic and positive attitude mixed with a little focus and management, I continually increase the odds of that.

“Well think about this, has anyone ever been on a boat?”

[some hands rise]

“What do you feel when you’re on a boat? How do you feel?”

“Scared,” “sick,” “nice,” “safe …”

“SAFE! When we’re in a boat or a plane, sometimes, it’s really easy to just stay on it, and maybe even go back home. But if you never step off into that new land, you’ll never try something new. Some of you have never left this street, or even Washington Heights. Now is that time. Don’t be afraid to try something new. When my parents came here, they took a risk and never looked back. When it comes to this math class, I want you to take a risk and go into it headfirst. Try your best. I want everyone to get 100% on their grades, but if you don’t, all I’m asking you is to try your hardest. Walk on water.”

mr. v, who feels comfortable going into any desk formation with his kids now that he has his procedures and rituals down