I Realize …

Jose Vilson Jose 4 Comments

Led ZeppelinI saw this on MySpace as a meme of some sort and I stole it. For my MySpace friends who’ve read my last “I Realize,” don’t worry: it’s brand new.

I realize, for instance, that cursing in the blogosphere is not chic, but fuck it. I didn’t make the curses, but I’ll use them.

I realize that every relationship has its waves, and whether you can hang 10 or belly flop depends a lot on work and luck.

I realize that every man is beholden always and forever to two women. Always.

But after what’s been up with me lately, I realize I can’t post on that just yet.

I realize how having too many middle men / women can make a school’s working conditions dubious and treacherous. That I can definitely go into.

I realize that not everyone on my blogroll agrees with my views on the issues I discuss on this blog, but fuck that, too. We can at least commune at the same table and share ideas about what we see fit.

I realize my circle of friends is tight knit, but I most certainly allocate different parts of myself to different people, but never all to one person. It isn’t a bad thing, but that’s just I’m built. I’m too strange to give all that responsibility to one person.

I realize just how horrendous some of the music I used to listen to is now. I just ripped the Godzilla Soundtrack onto my computer, and found that “Come With Me” (by P. Diddy, a remake of Led Zepellin’s “Kashmir”) stunk. I had a hard time digesting Diddy’s lines without clutching my stomach and throat. Once I got home, I told it to get off my iPod and go in the corner. I then invited “Kashmir” and “Stairway to Heaven” (Remastered) over to my humble musical cornucopia.

I realize the importance of keeping your balance and staying even. Today, a similar situation happened where a child, who I’ve been slowly chipping away at, became a nuisance, cursing cats out and letting the n-word off like a rifle. At first, I tried the hard disciplinarian approach, but I just got increasingly calmer because I was that confident in my stance. He needed to copy his notes and then when he was ready, I would address his concerns. Of course, he did neither, so by the last few moments of the class, I said, “Ah, I see what you’re about. I’m with you, man. I’m with you.” and gave him a little smile. He then slammed his book harder, and I just kept teaching. He got frustrated enough to just calm down and go about his business. He’ll get it soon enough.

I realize how important it is to come into school dressed appropriately. Children are extremely sensitive visually and olfactorily. They always remember whose breath stank back in the day and hence who always came like they didn’t have a job.

I realize how all the great computer philosophers were absolutely right: we’ve already started to see humans giving over some of the essences of what it means to be human over to robots. And for teachers who believe calculators should replace good fundamental mathematics and not supplement it, we have you to (partially) blame. HA! No, but seriously …

I realize how I could never go back to my previous blogging residence. As much as I loved the millions of comments, greater sense of community, and easier access to different blogs, I also got tired of seeing stories about miserable lives led by people who could switch it in a snap, pretentious writers who masturbate to their own shock writing, getting fellatio from women invested in the eldest profession, and force fed religious ideals.

I realize that having a teacher MySpace sounds like a bad idea, but fuck that thrice. As long as I write my activities, and keep my contacts logged, it’s all good.

I realize that, no matter how personal I get in my blog, there’ll never be a dearth of subjects I can discuss. As a teacher, I love writing about education, but I can do a little more than that.

I realize that, despite all the hardship, the Earth still rotates at a rather rapid pace …

jose, who’s looking up the face of the guy who played the neighbor in Home Improvement … 

p.s. – Shout-out to Hugh a.k.a. Repairman for supporting the work I spoke of yesterday. That humbles me to no end. Some of you, I’m sure, are waiting for the full-length feature.

About Jose Vilson

José Luis Vilson is a math educator, blogger, speaker, and activist. For more of my writing, buy my book This Is Not A Test: A New Narrative on Race, Class, and Education, on sale now.

Comments 4

  1. Corey

    what particularly struck me was how you mentioned how easily children remember the slightest details of the teachers they had, which led me to think about how important rolemodels are, especially around the age you teach. okay, here’s where i get kind of off topic, but since i’m on the subject of rolemodels and such. i remember being someone who idolized athletes, such as David Robinson and Derek Jeter, when i was younger (due to a lack of a male figure at home), i was deeply disappointed by the outcome of the Michael Vick trial, mostly because of the hundreds, maybe thousands, of kids he disappointed. in an age where the portrayal of pro athletes is in what seems to be in a constant state of flux (and mostly negative), what do you feel you can do as a male teacher/ rolemodel to make sure your students do not feel that, as minorities, failure is imminent?

  2. Shelly

    Grrrr! Such a great post and so many comments I want to make but so. little. time. Just wanted to let you know I’m hearing you! Big Up (as we say in LDN) ;-)

  3. Post

    Yeah, well I don’t know what to tell you, Corey. Honestly, I think everyone we’ve ever looked up to has a checkered past or a chink in their armor. It’s either that we decry them all or we love them even more for being as human as they were. I prefer the latter.

    And Shelly, feel free to comment as you please.

    Hugh, :: thumbs up:: …

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