Crumbled Brownies

Dear Little Miss Bittersweet,

Let me get to the point because, honestly, children only have an attention span of next to nil. I understand your situation: a boy who you once got along with is now treating you like you’re next to nothing. You’re usually really sensitive to everything and anything negative, and really, really persistent (on the ledge of annoying at times). You’re intelligent and sweet, but get too caught up in things to really calm your little self down.

As far as the boy, there was never really any attraction (as far as the eye can see), but now that he’s part of the school, he’s found a way to be dismissive and even demeaning towards you. You two have apparently had your arguments during lunch and in other places around school, and that’s too bad Ms. Bittersweet because, honestly, I thought you were a little better behaved than that. You’ve taken this fight to your teachers, a couple of social workers and counselors, the dean and to the assistant principal, and even with our best efforts, we’ve all come to the same conclusion: you need to learn to let go.

Not that I’m condoning (approving of) what he does, but I don’t think the way you have been acting around him is in your best interest. Letting the boy get to you will really make the situation worse, not better. In days past, when you were younger (much much younger), maybe it was easier to resolve problems by having you and the boy sit down in a chair while the teacher tells you that you have to act friendly. These days, especially since you’re both at an awkward age, maybe you should reconsider that strategy.

Now, if he’s bullying you or bothering you, then that’s something the staff (including me) need to take care of, but if he’s just ignoring you, not being friendly to you, or hasn’t even provoked you, then don’t provoke anything. Why start something that you’re going to have a hard time finishing? Do you think that making a list of everyone in school that you have any relationship with (including your teachers) and making a mean list is going to improve things (I’m glad I got a 6 out of 10 at least)? Do you think calling up his girlfriend to talk to him and trying to influence her to somehow coerce her into making you friends again is going to work?

By continuing this behavior, you’re handing over your power over to him, and I know you better than that. You need to be strong, and simply ignore him. Easier said than done, I know, because he’s in your class. Yet, you don’t sit together, you don’t eat together, and you share no friends.

And really, things change. Soon, this will pass, too.

Jose, who needs to write more letters …

p.s. – I’m not going to actually send this one to her. I might just sit down with her. I’m actually thinking about sitting with her parents and such. Thoughts?