Protect Your Neck [Or, Don't Get Caught Up, Guys] - The Jose Vilson

Protect Your Neck [Or, Don't Get Caught Up, Guys]

by Jose Vilson on November 1, 2010

in Jose

Ice Cube and Chris Tucker, Friday

On this sunny, brisk day, two young shapely women in well-fitting sweatpants walk past me to my left. Concentrated on getting my bookshelves together, I didn’t think to turn around and do what most men do given such a situation. The guy with his girl in front of me, however, found some longer-lasting misfortunes doing what I didn’t do.

“I ain’t mad at you checking them out,” she said.

I smiled, because I knew what was coming next.

“So then why did you say something?”
“Because it makes me wonder why you’re checking out other girls why you’re with me.”
“It’s natural. Guys can’t help it, and you know that.”

Dude could have stopped right there. He didn’t.

“I mean, girls gossip and guys don’t understand that. Is that not natural to chicks?”

I crossed the street before I either saw a bawl-fest or another whack to the arm, but laughed just the same. He wasn’t going to hear the end of it. Obviously, he has no desire to adopt a mature mechanism for checking women out so he has two options at this point: he can either apologize to his lady and never check out women again around her or he can be blatant and check out every woman that appeals to him around her. Either way, it makes him look like a jerk, no matter how ephemeral his pleasure.

To an extent, he’s right; most guys glance at other women frequently, not to be disrespectful towards their mate. If anything, it’s either a force of habit or nature. Often, nothing more. Like a child who’s looking around the room and finds everything so fascinating, a guy is often looking but not looking for any other reason. If they’re single, they’re often more likely to try something, but even then, it’s more often than not an overt means of expressing something within. At least from what I’ve seen.

Once we get older, we get over it. Yes, we’ll still steal a glance here and there, but the more mature members of our sex will mostly take a deep breath and focus more on what’s important. If I was that guy, I’d probably just tell my lady (because I already have) that guys aren’t as physiologically intelligent and too often our nature takes over our reason, even when our needs are being met satisfactorily. (Read: we’re dumb and we’re learning how to cope with it.) Guys in general eventually catch up and if we really care, we’ll try our best to get on par with what we’re saying to our partners.

But that’s coming from this Dominican male, and not the one that got the crazy side-eye from his woman this afternoon. After the way he turned around this afternoon, he’s probably got more than a neck to take care of.

Jose, whose neck is just fine, thank you very much …

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Alice Mercer November 22, 2010 at 11:09 pm

My husband is older than me by about seven years. He was a more mature 26 to my youthful 19 when we first met. He had already mastered the skill of not being “caught out” well before I came on the scene. Dh is a long-time Star Trek fan way back to the original (which he watched when it was first aired, as opposed to my watching it in syndication–but I digress). We attended a couple of Trek conventions back in the day. We went with another couple we were visiting down in L.A. One fan “in costume” entered the elevator done out as a Klingon woman. For those unfamiliar, it involves bearing half the chest, and not just the “flat” part. Let’s just say, she had the figure to carry this off (the words defying the law of gravity came to my mind). We got out of the elevator, and my husband apologized for “staring”. My response was to laugh, and say, “Honey, of course you looked! Heck, I looked!”
When your boyfriend, fiancee, husband, significant other, etc. has the good manners not to gape at every female going by, you’ve got to know when to cut them slack.

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