Can we get one more day on this glorious vacation? No? That’s unfortunate. I was just getting used to hearing the sounds of nothing in the morning. A few notes:1. I can’t contain it anymore. I tried, Eva, and it’s just not working. I’m going to the Kanye West concert in NYC! My face absolutely illuminated when I got the pre-sales tickets I wanted. I even went ahead and passed the code along to some friends so they could share in the experience. See you all in May.
2. I know I’m a math teacher because, when I’m on the elliptical machine reading the time remaining, I start to compare the minute and second timers, and answer if they’re relatively prime. For instance, at 14:28, they’re not relatively prime because they have a common factor of 14, but a few seconds later, at 14:15, the numbers are relatively prime because they only have a common factor of 1. Sick right?
4. Getting back from Miami with maybe a total of 8 hours of sleep over the last couple of nights, I knew today would be equally as dizzying. I also found myself profoundly motivated to make things happen. It’s a mix of seeing my father healthy again but in an interesting situation, my godsister losing her life to a suicidal maniac (which I spoke of before, but I refuse to go into detail here for obvious reasons), and just having a better understanding of the time I’m given … or lack thereof. It’s a sense of urgency that transforms normal people into legends, ordinary groups into championship teams, and blank pages into hallowed pieces of literature.
“I had a dream I could buy my way to heaven
When I awoke I spent that on a necklace
I told G_d I’d be back in a second
Man, it’s so hard not to act reckless
To whom much is given, much is tested
Get arrested, guess until he get the message
I feel the pressure, under more scrutiny
And what’d I do? Act more stupidly …”
Kanye West - “Can’t Tell Me Nothin’”
With those few bars, he evokes the questions and fears of everything that comes with success,
whatever your definition. On the one hand, you have him finally reaching his dreams, updating and personalizing another scribe’s dream as his own. On the other hand, he understands the pressure and pitfalls this success leads to, even if its unintentional. All this drama that successful people go through can either make or break them, as cliché as that sounds.
In all honesty, I wonder if this latest series of events that have laid themselves on my path is just a way for the spirit around all of us to substantiate future successes, like the way we prefer to watch / read biographies of people who’ve had grand success but also the most crucibles along the way. Even if this was the case, I’m the only one who could fully understand this movie, because I write like hell, but due to circumstances out of my control (and I suspect others’ too), I’d take some things with me to the grave.
But I’m feeling as ambitious as ever. I’m driven, and that’s what’s important. With all the naysayers and doubters I’ve had in my lifetime, even within my family, I’ve kept a cool head, calmly reminding myself that actions speak louder than words, and say, in the immortal words of Mr. West, “Wait ’till I get my money right …”
jose, who talks with so much emphasis …