love

My Love For School [And My Rancor For The System It's In]

by Jose Vilson on February 14, 2013

valentineschoolrose

I started off the morning with a heavy dose of Stevie Wonder and Aventura, a random sampling of love songs I have on my iPod just to pass the time on the train. The building is super-silent at the time I get in there, perfect for getting my mind and papers ready for the 8am start. About 55 minutes later, the din grows into a chatter, then a squeal and sneaker screeches. School begins with adults ushering children into classes. When I step out in the hallway, the pinks and reds worn by children and teachers dominate the blue and green paint pervasive in our hallways. Girls with heart-patterned gift bags and roses, and boys secretly tucking their chocolate boxes in the bags, all try to find their pseudo-paramours before they get into their first period class.

As I walk down this hallway, one of my student ambassadors walks by with a bouquet of roses. When I noticed her, I immediately joked, “Oh, for me? You shouldn’t have!” Kids usually reply to that with a tucking away and stiff arm about two feet in front of them just to make sure we don’t get any ideas about touching their gift. Today was different.

“Actually, one of them is for you, but I gotta find a way to get this one out.”

“You know I was just kidding right?”

“Yeah, but seriously, one of them is for you. Actually, it’s this one right here.”

Um, what? I blinked rapidly for a second, then said, “Take care of all your other people first.”

When I went back to my office, I got back to work on a few things when, true to her word, she handed me a dark pinkish rose. I said, “Thank you.” She said, “You’re welcome,” and went on her merry way.

Now, I don’t normally show emotion during school to be honest. Having a professional manner and attire more than makes up for my occasional disorganization ["I know where everything is, but you might not."], and keeping a little bit of extra distance from the students you serve assures that we clearly delineates the roles we play in school. [READ MORE]

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Love Is The Base, Not The Exponent (A Theorem Semi-Proven)

by Jose Vilson on May 2, 2011

Recently, I’ve been going over exponents with my students for the big math state test next week. Not sure if it was the chalk hitting my nose or the positivity I’ve surrounded myself with, but I’ve been thinking lots about this idea of love. Thus, I was prompted to put out this thought a couple of days ago:

Love is the base, not the exponent.

Here’s my reasoning:

Let’s assume the value of love you have is greater than 1 (love being a variable), and that your exponent is the amount of people in your circle of influence (you can have positive or negative people, in character of course). I figure that the more love a person has for oneself, and the more positive people there are around that person, the more love there is to spread around and about. So, let’s say your love rating is 1.25, a small increment of love barely approaching love for anyone else. Well, if there are three positive people in your life (1.25 ^ 3), your love factor approaches 2 (1.953125 to be exact.) If you’ve got a love rating of 10, and four positive people to share that with, that’s enough to shoot your love rating to 10,000.

Love really grows quickly, and a collective always multiplies love, not just adds.

Let’s take some of the special cases for this theorem, ones that I find rather interesting.

If you’ve only got a love rating of one (or “one love,”), then no matter how many people, positive or negative, you have around you, then you’ll always that one love, and it will always be positive. But it can’t grow until you increase how much love you have for anyone.

Similarly, no matter how much love you got for yourself (where love can be any number you like), if the amount of people privy to that love is 0, then indeed it stays one love.

Consider: if you have any love for yourself (love > 1), but negative people all around you, then you still have positive amounts of love, but it dwindles the more negative people you have around you. It never reaches zero, and thus, there is hope.

Now, for my math folk out there, I still haven’t considered the case where love is greater than zero but less than one because most of what I just said works exactly the opposite, but I think one of my math whizzes will get it together.

Not quite QED yet, but this much is certain: love isn’t just something we can keep to ourselves, though it’s important to have lots of self-love. In a time where many of us are celebrating the lack of life rather than reflecting, we have to spread peace and love wherever possible. It’s equally important to find sources of self-worth and care in order to do that. Love should be everyone’s base, and really, that’s where it all starts.

Where is your source of love? Did my love theorem make sense to anyone else? I hope so.

Jose, who’s really self-reflective …

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You Are Loved

by Jose Vilson on February 14, 2011

Love Books

To Whom It May Concern,

You’re pissed off at the idea of Valentine’s Day because you have no one to share it with. You rationalize your anger for this day by saying it has little merit, only deepens personal debt, and makes single people aware of their own solitude. You reminisce about a love you once had, but never fully healed from. You seek redemption in the form of another person’s favors or creating chemical imbalances whenever possible. You abuse your friends by casting doubts on their own happiness. You lose yourself in your tribulations because it’s easier than facing the truth staring at you in the mirror. You won’t give love a chance to come into your fortress because you’ve built the walls high enough that the outside can’t scare you anymore. You debase your relationships into what you can get and lower the standard of what you do get. You confuse an extended arm for a swing and a strike. You confuse attention for your vitriol for caring and attention. You make people work hard to care about you because that’s what’s been passed down to you from generations of embittered family members. You misconstrue gender roles to benefit your own impertinence. You’re so hurt. And you don’t have to be.

You are loved.

Jose, just reminding you …

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On Commitment

by Jose Vilson on November 28, 2010

Jay-Z and Beyonce

I caved. After dodging some calamitous trends and memes in the social media world, I let people “inbox” me their questions, hoping no one would ask me anything too off-kilter. In previous exercises, people have done everything from asking me to predict their futures to openly wondering why I didn’t want to meet up with them. I squirmed internally and gave the most appropriate response possible (and haven’t tried to meet them since).I mean, other people can read my response and they have a record of my interaction, and that in and of itself is a commitment.

It’s probably why I never make promises I can’t keep.

I might say something like, “I’ll try my hardest to be there” with a fat asterisk that continues, “weather-permitting, or if I already made a commitment that I won’t be able to leave early from, or if I just gave the kids a quiz that day and I have to grade it to let them know I’m being serious about their education.” It’s probably why I don’t commit to events often, either. I rarely attend things, so when I do, people genuinely drop their jaw when I do make it out.

My word is my bond.

It’s probably why I don’t say very much, either. There’s so few things I’m open with in public forums nowadays, my sex and love life highest amongst them. Of course, when I post a request to those in my network to inbox me questions, the first one would be about relationships. I probably would have punted a couple of years ago, but now I can see the field better, so I’m willing to go for the touchdown with the end zone much closer than before.

My friend Danielle asks, “Why are those who are afraid of commitment so afraid? What is their fear?”

“… Too many reasons, but my best reason: They’re often afraid of commitment because, essentially, you’re giving yourself to another person. There are studies that show that people who have an amorous relationship with someone else develop a semi-symbiotic relationship too, so when they break up, it makes them feel like they lost a part of themselves. If you constantly find yourself giving of yourself so much, it gets harder to trust that much of your person to someone else unless they know how to take care of it.”

It’s so true in almost any relationship you take on. I just know from personal experience that the idea of commitment is much easier to work through than the action of commitment. What commitment entails is much more than saying it. I’m still learning this thing about commitment, but I have something worth fighting for. I’m not perfect, but I’m giving more of my person to the other. And if that’s happening, then that means I’m trusting them with more of me.

If I ever perfect the potion for commitment, I’ll put it in a bottle. Not to sell it, just to take a whiff of it whenever I need it in other parts of my life, too.

Jose, who vows to only take on (at most) 3 memes a month …

I went from the favourite to the most hated
or would you rather be underpaid or over-rated?

Read more: http://www.killerhiphop.com/kanye-west-so-appalled-lyrics/#ixzz16c9dHOHn

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Protect Your Neck [Or, Don't Get Caught Up, Guys]

November 1, 2010 Jose

On this sunny, brisk day, two young shapely women in well-fitting sweatpants walk past me to my left. Concentrated on getting my bookshelves together, I didn’t think to turn around and do what most men do given such a situation. The guy with his girl in front of me, however, found some longer-lasting misfortunes doing [...]

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The Manhood Series: 8 Great Reasons Why She’s Not Calling Back

July 6, 2010 Jose

For more from my Manhood Series, please check this tag. Have a great read! If the first words that come out of my mouth are “He didn’t really say that!”, chances are I’m talking to a friend of mine about a some guy who threw her terrible lines. My face either looks like someone’s head [...]

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Lay Down Your Arms, Give Up The Fight (You and I)

February 11, 2010 Jose

Many of us live in an anarchist revision of love, hoping to understand its structures while simultaneously rationalizing why they just won’t work for us (and in many cases, trying to destroy previously conceived notions!) It’s amazing that any of us fall in love at all, or even attempt to understand this synecdochical emotion wrought with [...]

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She Will Be Loved

April 29, 2009 Jose

It’s easy to sit here, Clasped hands Staring eyes, Inclement weather, Winds rustling our jackets every which way In front of a fluorescent building sometime closer to midnight than mid-day That three letter phrase tauted so heavily By romantics and lunatics alike That swelling in my chest and the screaming of the conscience to make [...]

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My Not-So-Funny Actually Quite Tragic Valentine [The Love Below Series]

February 12, 2009 Jose

Before my days in college (man, I loved college), I really didn’t much success with the ladies. And by not that much, I mean there was a recession of immense proportions. I looked around and watch my friends talk about female orifices and their indexes feeling on the softest, roundest female bottoms ever. Me? Not [...]

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We Get It From Our Papa [The Love Below Series]

February 10, 2009 Jose

This is the third post on love, commemorating that yearly event that happens on the 14th. Today, I’ll get a little into my own background without saying too much. I’ll try not to get too deep into family, but I’ll give a little context for the ideas I’m laying out. I hope to represent these [...]

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