Eww. Seriously. That Is So Gross. (Education Reform Put To The Test) - The Jose Vilson

Eww. Seriously. That Is So Gross. (Education Reform Put To The Test)

by Jose Vilson on January 31, 2012

in Jose

Eww. Seriously? So Gross. (GEICO Commercial)

Ever have a baby sleeping right on your stomach when you see a hilarious commercial and you’re trying to suppress your laughter which only makes you laugh harder? That was the premise for tonight when I watched this Geico commercial about a guy who uses some popular girls from the local high school to help him with his diet. Watch:

Had. Me. In. Tears.

Then it got me thinking if I picked out my most incorrigible students and had some of our favorite education reform advocates present ideas to them, just to see what they thought. Up first, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg:

Blooomberg: Secretly, I want to fire half the teachers in New York and give the ones left a $20,000 raise. Just to keep ‘em quiet. Maybe that’ll show them.
Girl 1: Bloomberg, where all the kids going to go?
Bloomberg: Well, we won’t right out FIRE all the teachers left over. Your same teachers will still be around for a few weeks. Then when we get bored, we’ll rotate them. Imagine if you had more teachers throughout the year!
Girl 2: Imagine if we had to sit next to all those people mad tight or stand in the back of the class because we didn’t have any more seats?
Girl 3: That shit would suck. [Vilson looks from across.] My bad, language, language …
Girl 2: But, but but, yeah, what if I have to stand next to that one boy I really don’t like, but it’s our turn to stand next to each other because of this stupid idea?
Girl 1: Eww.
Girl 2: Seriously?
Girl 3: So gross.

Next up: US Secretary of Education Arne Duncan

Duncan: I have this Race To The Top program where I make states compete for money if they only agree to the reforms we like.
Girl 3: Like what?
Duncan: Well, we ask states to have more tests, find a way to fire bad teachers, and close down schools if they’re not doing exactly what we think they should be doing.
Girl 2: Oh. Sounds good.
Girl 1: Ugh, I hate tests! That mean ol’ teacher always has to give us one every week and she yells, “Hurry up and spit out your gum!” You know how much gum I have to spit out?
Girl 3: Yeah, well if this guy has his way, that teacher get fired!
Girl 2: No, that teacher wouldn’t! He gets good test scores, so he’ll probably stay!
Girl 3: Remember that one teacher we liked?
Girl 1: The geeky one who liked math a lot? Yeah, we liked her! What happened?
Girl 3: They fired her. The rumor is that some kids didn’t do well on the test, so they fired her for it.
Girl 1 and 2: Oh WOOOOWWW!!
Girl 1: Eww.
Girl 2: Seriously?
Girl 3: That’s gross.

Finally: former Washington DC Schools Chancellor and current edu-lobbyist Michelle Rhee

Rhee: First, let me say how much I really like students and …
Girl 1: Eww! :: cough, cough :: Sorry, continue.
Rhee: Like I was saying … [snickers to self], let me say how much I really like students. That’s why I created an organization called StudentsFirst, where students get to be first!
Girl 2: First where?
Rhee: Well, it’s like your football team. You like it when your school team wins right? It’s the same thing here. We want students to win!
Girl 3: Huh?
Girl 2: I think I see what she’s saying. She’s trying to say that students come before everybody else. It doesn’t matter if they’re adults or whatever, like, they need to fall back.
Girl 1: But I’m confused. Why does it matter as long as the adults are there to help us?
Girl 2: Right? Shouldn’t all schools just be good for everybody?
Girl 3: I just Googled her, and this is the same lady with the broom in her hand! Is she trying to sweep kids?
Girl 2: Is she gonna hit me with that thing?
Girl 3: Let her do it! I’ma get my brother after her.
Rhee: Umm, I think you’re missing the point, ladies …
Girl 1: Yo, you calling us dumb? You trying to say because we didn’t go to the school you went to that we not as smart as you! Ewwww!
Girl 2: Seriously?
Girl 3: That is so gross!

These girls will not be fooled.

Mr. Vilson, who has too many voices in his head …

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Karma February 1, 2012 at 12:55 am

Hilarious!

Reply

Matt Mezger, Sr. February 1, 2012 at 8:17 am

Again!

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Charles February 1, 2012 at 11:50 am

Awesome Video! I’ve sent it to the faculty at my school. I teach at a girl school and this commercial is so them!

Reply

Pam February 1, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Very funny! MY students would say: “Mr. Bloomberg, Mr. Duncan, Miz Rhee….you’re doing too much. Why you always got to be doing extra?”

Reply

School Girl February 15, 2012 at 2:20 pm

This commercial is not funny. It is totally not funny at all (IMO). I’m a school girl and yes, I am called the popular girl. Why would we want to follow a creepy old perv around town and in his home? My friend was kidnapped and never found and this commercial makes me think about her every time. I am not surprised about the men commenting how they enjoyed this commercial. You all are creeps.

Reply

Jose February 15, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I’d trust this comment, but … I’ve seen this comment posted too many times across the web to think otherwise.

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Nat Vilson February 22, 2012 at 4:57 pm

first let me say…I LOVE that commercial! I bust a gut everytime i watch it!
Great blog post! Speaking through the mouth of our youth….sooo funny!!

Reply

Damon March 7, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Ha! Nice dialogues. I gotta say, though, the image of you stifling laughter with a sleeping baby on your chest was pretty priceless.

Reply

Regina March 12, 2012 at 10:23 am

@School Girl… WOW, NO sense of humor! You are obviously one of these girls! If you seriously think that is a REAL situation you are in for a rude awakening when you get into the real world… unless, of course, you are too dependent on your parents for everything, which I’m sure is the case!

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