It’s Pretty Much Your Fault

Jose VilsonJose2 Comments

Uncle Same "You Fail"

Uncle Same "You Fail"

The Buffalo Beast dropped their 50 Most Loathsome People of 2008, and listed everyone from Barack Obama (#50) to … well you can figure it out (I’ll give you a hint: rhymes with nail-in), and everyone in between. As always, they take particular interest in everyone around them and the social trends that makes us all a critical part of the disgust they have for this country. So at #43, it’s all your fault:

43. You

Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.

Exhibit A: You’re more upset by Miley Cyrus’s glamour shots than the fact that you are a grown adult who is upset about Miley Cyrus.

Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.

Sorry for copying the whole section, but it’s all too true. Please read this: it’s gonna take a sitting, but as usual, well worth the read.

Jose, who is spending the next 24 hours with a special someone …

Comments 2

  1. Sorry, but….I…get around, and never heard of “Buffalo Beast”, and even though I grok their attempts at humor, I can’t think of a single person I actually know described by them. Maybe “You” is actually some collective “Other” that we can all point and laugh at…I dunno…but, I fail to grasp the point you are trying to make here. Please, enlighten me.

  2. Post

    The Buffalo Beast is, by and large, pretty popular, according to StumbleUpon, Twitter, and other services I’ve seen, but that’s besides the point. I think he’s talking to average Americans and many of those who are part of the least common denominator. I’m sure he’s not talking to the more intelligent portion of our country. At the same time, I know a LOT of people who are like what I read, though very few of them are in my inner circle. Thus, I found The Buffalo Beast’s opinion to be well-worth the post. It was a delightful slice of criticism.

    Nonetheless, it’s good to have a dissenting opinion.

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