Before college, I was never much into drugs. The closest I ever came to actually having drugs were the moments of secondhand contact and at a family get-together where I tasted a sip of beer and immediately spit it out in disgust. That sentiment lasted a while. Sike.

Of course, in college, I got a lot of samples of these drugs. They were usually of the organic kind, and no matter how sweet, sour, angry, wild, or lovely these drugs were, they never lasted long enough for me to put it back in my dimebag.

Once, during my senior year, I had a huge stash of organic stuff, and it lasted so long, my head would hurt from it. I couldn’t quit though. The drugs were strong, and I couldn’t contain my addiction. I’d do it at night, usually just me, but everyone knew I was doing it. At times the drugs even put a strain between me and my friends, and it certainly took away from my social life, but I swear I found the drug I’d have in my stash for a while. This drug was a miracle, and I was definitely in love with the stuff.

Then I graduated college and realized that I needed to pass my urine tests. There went the drugs, and frankly, after being unemployed for as long as I was, I couldn’t keep up with my habit. I went through a massive depression, a million blogs and poems, and gained the pounds I lost during my addiction. I got some freebies from a couple of friends, but they need to get high too, so I left the drug alone altogether. I flirted with a few drugs and beverages here and there: marijuana, vodka, sangria, wine, and even some vicodin. It was to no avail. Either it was too expensive or I couldn’t just try one at a time. Yes, I have tried multiple drugs at once, and it was messy.

Then, somewhere along the line, probably during one of my free periods, I found the perfect drug: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. What a mess. John Lennon put me on to the drug actually, and I didn’t know how amazingly inexpensive the drug is. Despite reports to the contrary, this drug has enhanced my life and made me a much better person. I took more risks and made more logical decisions. Granted, every so often, I OD on the drug and that becomes a mess, but in moderate doses, it’s a wonderful addiction. I keep some in my back pocket, and it even shows up in my blogs.

Of course, I’m a teacher now, and a more experienced one at that. Yet, the secret behind most teachers’ extracurricular life is the same secret that keep stock brokers and athletes from losing their minds: drugs.

LSD: she’s one helluva drug, and I’m not trying to mix any other drugs with her …

jose, who has a penchant for metaphor …