I know he was probably a Republican, as are most wrestlers, but I honestly just felt like repurposing one of Randy Savage’s best monologues because it’s so relevant to things I see in our education discussions. And hilarious. Let’s do this.

I’m talkin’ bout and the beat goes on, and the beat goes on, and the beat goes on, YEAH! And my fingers are typing right at you, Arne Duncan, it’s Edu-MADNESS, right now, YEAH! Sugar is sweet and so is honey. Teachers are on a roll and we can’t be STOPPED, no! Elizabeth understands what I’m talkin’ about, YEAH! uh-HUH! It’s unbelievable fact distortion, space is the place, Jose Vilson, go down that lonesome highway, YEAH! But don’t be hypnotized, no, privatization doesn’t have to be, you can CONCENTRATE and you can up your mental telepathy, YEAH! But the beat goes on! And let me tell you something right now, talking about the greatest intercontinental professionals that ever lived, Arne Duncan is outta line, YEAH! We are the greatest intercontinental professionals that ever lived, and the greatest educators that ever lived, AND WE’RE LIVING NOW YEAH! Right now, uh huh!

I told him, “Well, Arne Duncan and company make no bones about not mentioning good teachers in their board meetings and trying to strip away public education from its core principles. What do you make of that, Macho Man?”

He says that I can’t sing and I can’t dance, but I can take a stance, YEAH, RIGHT THERE in the FORK IN THE ROAD! I said “Go right, and Obama said go left, AND I WENT RIGHT, and then and then I understand what the situation was, I went over that one bridge, yeah, and then when I crossed that bridge, I found out I was on the right side, and I said Elizabeth, follow me YEAH! Cuz on the Race to the Top, I’m going straight to the top! The stars, yeah, the stars, one shining star in the night, shining BRIGHTER THAN ALL THE OTHER ONES! And I’m talking light years away! Edu-Madness rollin’, yeah! You thought so, but I know so!

And Edu-Madness is coming STRAIGHT TO YOU, Arne Duncan, and LIGHT, yeah! And I ain’t stoppin’, yeah! Obama said go Right, and I’m going Left!

Jose, who’s screaming “NO MORE QUESTIONS!”