My Not-So-Funny Actually Quite Tragic Valentine [The Love Below Series] - The Jose Vilson

My Not-So-Funny Actually Quite Tragic Valentine [The Love Below Series]

February 12, 2009

How To Heal A Broken Heart

How To Heal A Broken Heart

Before my days in college (man, I loved college), I really didn’t much success with the ladies. And by not that much, I mean there was a recession of immense proportions. I looked around and watch my friends talk about female orifices and their indexes feeling on the softest, roundest female bottoms ever. Me? Not quite. I had a chance encounter in Dominican Republic back when I was 10 (I’ve never forgetten it). From then ’till college, contrary to popular beliefs (even my own) I barely got any.

But the couple of things that I always had going for me were hope and optimism. Certainly being nice didn’t work too well nor did the other passive characteristics I took on as a result of my upbringing. I don’t wish to blame the parents (even if it is their fault), but it’s also because society taught me that I was fat, Black, and ugly. No, seriously. Thank G-d for goatees and age. Otherwise, I still would have been that frustrated chump who, in a rather quixotic moment, considered asexuality.

Back to the point, Valentine’s Day was where I laid all my hopes of finding someone to kiss (I had little space for much else). I wanted that romantic love, that movie love, that Corey and Topanga kind of love. And of course, it wasn’t to be. I mean, I went all out for Valentine’s Day, sometimes spending my weekly allowance … with zero returns. There were also the ones where something might have happened if I was less chicken-shit and more Neil Strauss about things. Or the nights when my single friend and I would just have a Lonely Person’s Day, eating fries and ice cream at McD’s. It ranged anywhere from “You’re nice, but can we be friends?” to “I’m your counselor. I may be hot, but I’m at least 3 times your age.” I even got “Ummm … no.”


Nevertheless, all those wasted Valentine’s Days taught me something later on that I probably wouldn’t have learned:

Valentine’s Day is expensive as a motherfucker.

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.

If you don’t consider yourself an attractive and loveable person, how do you expect someone else to love you? If you don’t consider yourself worthy of someone, will you ever be? There are times when you do think you’re worthy and things fail, but the chances of reciprocity are much greater than we have a belief in an idea than when we don’t.

Fortunately, for this Valentine’s Day, I have one person who’s been my 3-peat Valentine (it’s the first time ever, I promise you). Yet, I also know there are those of you who are booing Cupid to no end, and I have to respect that (the grass is definitely greener on this side). Then again, I feel like after all that depravity, I’ve earned love.

Yes, I’ve earned love.

Jose, who assembled his first bed tonight …

This post was written by...

José Luis Vilson is a math educator, blogger, speaker, and activist. For more of my writing, buy my book This Is Not A Test: A New Narrative on Race, Class, and Education, on sale now.

For more about me, read here.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Amber Cabral February 12, 2009 at 11:08 pm

Aw. Jose.

Quite candid on this one.


talda February 12, 2009 at 11:17 pm

i’m definitely feeling this post jose. love is especially wonderful when you’ve earned it.




Jewells February 12, 2009 at 11:26 pm

When the right kind of love comes around it is a wonderful thing. Though you might not have been lucky since 10, you know how to appreciate it a good thing now.

Enjoy the v-day festivities.


CathrynMarie February 13, 2009 at 3:34 pm

awwww @ ur 3 peat..hope its a nice 1 :)


Jose February 15, 2009 at 10:04 am

Thanks for all the comments ladies. I appreciate it. Before she blows up my spot, I’ll say that my first Valentine’s with her wasn’t spent on the actual day, but a few days later. Nonetheless, I count it.


Hugh O'Donnell February 15, 2009 at 4:53 pm

One hallmark of good writing is bringing the familiar to the reader in fresh ways. You got under my skin with this cool Valentine’s mini-series.

You’ve got the juice, Dude. Keep at it.


Jose February 15, 2009 at 7:26 pm

Thanks. Honestly, I was just trying to show people that, despite reports, I haven’t always had success here and there ;-).


mzvirgo February 15, 2009 at 10:29 pm

Thank you for this great post. It gives hopeless romantics like me after all. What I took away from this is that you have to kiss a few frogs in order to get that prince.


LuzMaria February 21, 2009 at 12:51 pm

It is amazing to see how this V-day is a reminder of either very beautiful experiences or disappointments. These experiences have an effect on us because sometimes thya can have an effect on our relationships. What is very distrubing to me, is the message being sent to our kids. Even as a child, I remember that competition that was never stated regarding how many V-day cards someone got and/or candies. Apparently, the number of cards and candy equated how much love you had in your life. I still see that same message with my students and it makes me wonder how they feel about being loved or loving someone.

You share quite a bit of yourself in this writing. I find it very interesting that you state that you have earned love because I feel that you are very much deserving of being loved since you have such a huge heart-your family, friends, students, and the 3-peat Valentine. If it weren’t for all those experiences, your outlook about “love” might be very different.

BTW-the goatee is a keeper!!!


Sheela August 19, 2009 at 5:10 am



Arabian Boy November 13, 2009 at 4:40 am

Good Luck

From: Kuwait


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