Proud Mary Keep On Turnin’

Jose VilsonJose2 Comments

So remember how I told you all that I felt something funny before my cousin died? My girlfriend thinks I’m just very perceptive in general, and really, I think I’m most certainly interconnected with the rest of the world and have a higher sense of ESP than most of my other friends do. Nonetheless, that tightness ended up being what I’ll call a heart squeeze for now. By my unscientific findings, I think it came from some of the stress I’ve been feeling as well at work. Something could have happened in my sleep …

Friday passes, and then the weekend passes, and even though I’m right at the ER I’d visit today, I couldn’t do a damn thing because of the events of the time. I’m having a hard time even getting near the subject. Anyways, today, I felt it once more, and while exercise yesterday and some breathing exercises today really helped the situation, I still felt, er, feel a bit of weirdness in my heart. I told my people at the school, and took the day off for me. I’m never worried about whether or not I’ll be doc’ed or anything of that nature.

I broke out the iPod and started listening to “El Niagara en Bicicleta,” by Juan Luis Guerra, a song about the singer’s memorable visit to the hospital and his contemplations over whether he or any of his compatriots can get good medical coverage in those conditions. I suppose when the people at ER found out I had heart problems, they rushed me through the process, taking an ETG, my blood pressure, and my temperature in what felt like a couple of minutes. Frankly, at some point, the only thing I was worried about was taking those MediTrack stickie pads off me without crying Bloody Mary.

Seeing all those people there, and seeing who actually cared when all this happened over the last week makes me happy at the people I’ve chosen to prioritize in my life. It’s easier to look at a breach in communication as some sort of rejection, but if I stick to the definitions I’ve set for friendship, then it’s harder to harbor any sort of resentment. I’m truly humbled by the tons of replies I got yesterday over my cousin’s death, and it’s given my already fortified coat of armor a nice little gleam, as it’s been scuffed and dinged a little over the last couple of months.

So I’m rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ …

jose, who wants to give that Ginsberg Project one more week …

Comments 2

  1. Hey Jose, In NYC for a few days & hooking p with a few other blog friends tomorrow. If you are free, swing by the Negril Grill near NYU. Hit me up via email. Tafari

  2. Dear Jose,

    First of all I hope you feel better. I’m glad you went to the ER to get your heart checked. Do you already know what’s the matter? I really hope you’ll have the time to get some rest, maybe get out of the city for a while and suck in some fresh air. For now, try to take it really easy especially in these last weeks of the year. They can be really hectic and you should be careful not to be totally consumed by them.

    Oh, and I nearly forgot. This letter to your student is an amzing piece of prose. You have a great gift to put your feelings into words.

    Take care!

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