Proud Mary Keep On Turnin’

Jose VilsonJose

So remember how I told you all that I felt something funny before my cousin died? My girlfriend thinks I’m just very perceptive in general, and really, I think I’m most certainly interconnected with the rest of the world and have a higher sense of ESP than most of my other friends do. Nonetheless, that tightness ended up being what I’ll call a heart squeeze for now. By my unscientific findings, I think it came from some of the stress I’ve been feeling as well at work. Something could have happened in my sleep …

Friday passes, and then the weekend passes, and even though I’m right at the ER I’d visit today, I couldn’t do a damn thing because of the events of the time. I’m having a hard time even getting near the subject. Anyways, today, I felt it once more, and while exercise yesterday and some breathing exercises today really helped the situation, I still felt, er, feel a bit of weirdness in my heart. I told my people at the school, and took the day off for me. I’m never worried about whether or not I’ll be doc’ed or anything of that nature.

I broke out the iPod and started listening to “El Niagara en Bicicleta,” by Juan Luis Guerra, a song about the singer’s memorable visit to the hospital and his contemplations over whether he or any of his compatriots can get good medical coverage in those conditions. I suppose when the people at ER found out I had heart problems, they rushed me through the process, taking an ETG, my blood pressure, and my temperature in what felt like a couple of minutes. Frankly, at some point, the only thing I was worried about was taking those MediTrack stickie pads off me without crying Bloody Mary.

Seeing all those people there, and seeing who actually cared when all this happened over the last week makes me happy at the people I’ve chosen to prioritize in my life. It’s easier to look at a breach in communication as some sort of rejection, but if I stick to the definitions I’ve set for friendship, then it’s harder to harbor any sort of resentment. I’m truly humbled by the tons of replies I got yesterday over my cousin’s death, and it’s given my already fortified coat of armor a nice little gleam, as it’s been scuffed and dinged a little over the last couple of months.

So I’m rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ …

jose, who wants to give that Ginsberg Project one more week …