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Heartless

by Jose on December 15, 2008 · 4 comments

in life

Heartbreak

Heartbreak

Kanye West recently got me to thinking about the callous facade men and women take on when not satisfied with matters of the heart. Along the lines of Jay-Z’s “They say you can’t turn a bad girl good, but once a good girl’s gone bad, she’s gone forever,” Kanye’s song “Heartless” is an honest musing on the deterioration of an honest and burgeoning relationship gone awfully sour. A few days ago on Twitter, Peter Santilli made a poignant observation about the relationships between human beings:

Horniness brings people together. What the world needs now is a sexual revolution. Put your depression calculators away for a bit.

- Peter Santilli

While Peter might be a little more, say, curt than I am, I will say I agree in one respect: the essential “end” to all this “means” is sex, and not just sex, but an intimate and loving relationship with a significant other. Whether that manifests itself in marriage, children, or just a life-long partnership of mutual love, most of us biologically crave that intimacy and, in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, WANT to be vulnerable and WANT to feel protected on some level.

Isn’t it always funny for instance when you hear that a person broke up with their significant other and the next day you’ll read in their status or their blog, “That’s it; from now on, I’m gonna be cold hearted.” only to find out that in a couple of months, they find themselves in another relationship? How about those dudes who have a plethora of women they have sex with / randomly make out with / play with but when you ask them on a one-to-one level, all they ever talk about is how they want to settle down and to repeat the mistakes of their predecessors? You’ll also note that those who we generally characterize as sensitivity have sharp reactions to touch or emotion.

And from that first meeting of someone to actually making that real contact, there’s an almost infinite combination matrix we have to follow to get to those “ends:” the lies, the fibs, the guessing, the presentation, the representation, the setting, the spontaneity, the nuances of what he / she does and says, the reminders and reminiscing, the bad / good breath, the questions about their habits like “Does this make him a bad / good lover?”, the walking slowly and holding hands, the sweaty palms and wondering if the other person feels the same way you do, the successes and failures of getting some the first time around and maybe not, and wondering whether you’ll ever see them again, the drunken phone calls / texts, the yearnings in the late night, the confusion about why the person didn’t call if “it was good”, the subsequent postings or writings in the personal journals, the conversations with their “people” about that person they met the night before, the departure of the representative and the arrival of the real person, the repeat of this very cycle, and the anticipation that maybe it’ll have some happy ending.

Yet, before all this, we have people who seem to walk around with no heartbeats, their sense of touch relegated to the umpteenth most important sense rather than in their top 10. Too many people are heartless …

Jose, who finds this the longest story ever told …

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There I go, quoting another rapper again. I consider myself a rap fan by most standards, but today especially, I recognize the power of their words. When Jay-Z speaks of the “genesis of a nemesis” when telling of the birth of a drug dealer, when 2Pac speaks of hopelessness throughout most of his records, and when Joe Budden points out this blog’s title, discussing just how hard it is out there for people who don’t see a way out, I hear it and have been exposed to it for decades. Yesterday was the first day, though, that a foregone conclusion of the street soldier / thug lifestyle hit this close to home.

My cousin Richard was a young, handsome, charismatic man who frankly got caught up in the life. I don’t want to put all of his business out there, but over the last 10 years, he’s spent more time in the clink than out of it, and in some ways, it hurt. It’s family that’s in there. He was the first guy who made me a Yankees fan before 96, teaching me about Don Mattingly, Bernie Williams, Paul O’Neill, and Jim Leyritz. He made it cool. He was always winning the sports trophies at the local Boys’ Club, and he always had the hottest girl in the class. He had a drive and a way of selling himself that made you an instant believer. And of course, he always had the latest rap mixtape in his crib.

But I also know of the fights we got into in our youth, the trouble he constantly got into, the secrets he told me that shook me for almost a week, his 2 daughters by different mothers that he loved but he couldn’t always keep up with, and the habits that he got caught up in were hazardous for his mental and physical health. Despite the disappointment I felt about how his life turned out, seeing his cadaver yesterday reminds me why I do what I do. He had just gotten out of jail, but like so many of our troubled youth, he predicted his own death, and in timely fashion.

I’m loath to call him a rat, a piece of shit, or a worthless vagabond, terms that have been used for him. That was my cousin. I knew something was wrong with him when I felt my heart tighten up the night before. He’s one of the primary reasons I do more than just worry if my kids are scoring high on their state tests. In the position I’m in, I find myself conscious of the effect I have on some of my own children, especially when I already see some of them turning into my cousin. When your life expectancy is “any day now,” investing in your own life is really about the short term.

And the rain yesterday washed over us like a baptism, carrying his soul to a place where he doesn’t have to worry about these Earthly things …

RIP my cousin Rich

jose, who has no idea how he’s getting into school tomorrow like this …

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The Message

by Jose on December 4, 2007 · 5 comments

in Uncategorized

Rap in ClassroomPart 2 of The Hip-Hop in the Classroom Series:

The mainstream rap of today continues to perpetuate the same themes of sex, drugs, and violence we’ve heard almost ad nauseam since the ealy ’90s. Yet, the gems that often redeem and exalt rap into the hood’s champion comes from the oft-ignored B-sides of the most popular rappers in the hip-hop culture. Just like looking for an alternative curriculum to what the school or district supplies a teacher with, it takes a little research and some word-of-mouth to find some of these gems.

It’s stereotypical to just use math raps in the class or try and analyze the similarities and differences between rap and poetry, but I’m using them anyways as an ice breaker. We can kick up the creativity a bit. My first example comes from the prolific Slick Rick, arguably the greatest storyteller of all time. In the excerpt I’m providing next, Slick Rick demonstrates a descriptive narrative (for the rest of “Children’s Story” off the album The Adventures of Slick Rick, click here):

“He said ‘I need bullets, hurry up, run!’
The dope fiend brought back a spanking shotgun,
He went outside but there was cops all over,
then he dipped into a car, a stolen Nova,
Raced up the block doing 83,
crashed into a tree near university,
Escaped alive though the car was battered,
rat-a-tat-tatted and all the cops scattered,
Ran out of bullets and still had static,
grabbed a pregnant lady and out the automatic,
Pointed at her head and he said the gun was full o’ lead,
he told the cops “Back off or honey here’s dead”
Deep in his heart he knew he was wrong,
so he let the lady go and he starts to run on … “

The rest of the song probably set the precedence for rappers like Ghostface Killah, whose “The Forest” and “Shakey Dog” all borrow elements of heavy chronicling from that rapper.

The next verse comes from Jay-Z (as if you didn’t know that was coming). This was buried deep within Blueprint 2, panned by many critics as a waste of an album. However, this song stood out for its dual metaphor of the street dealer and the soldier in Afghanistan / Iraq. Check the verse.

“You lost him mama, the war’s callin him
Feel it’s his duty to fall in line with all of them
He’s a soldier
Rose through the ranks as the head of your household
Now its time to provide bank, like he’s supposed ta’
Now just remember while he’s going to November
There’s part of him growing up
His shirts soaks up your tears as he holds ya
Your heart beatin’ so fast speeding his pulse up
Yeah I know it sucks,
Life ain’t a rosebud
A couple of speed bumps, you gotta take your lumps
Off to boot camp, the world’s facing terror
bin Laden been happenin’ in Manhattan
Crack was anthrax back then, back when
Police was Al Qaeda to Black men
While I was out there hustling sinning with no religion
He was off the wall killing for a living …”

Because of this and many other verses, Jay-Z has been put on a celebrity watch list by the FBI, and it catered especially towards those who speak out against the government. So not only is this good for English / Language Arts, it’s also good for Social Studies / Civics class.

Moving on, Rakim, who whenever there’s any rap conversation I’ll namedrop a plethora of times, once said that he raps in sync with jazz’s tempo. In the verses, he’ll rap, but even within the lines, there are secret rhymes, alliterations, and assonances you’d miss if you weren’t grooving so hard so the song (for the rest of “Follow the Leader” off the album Follow the Leader, click here):

“Follow me into a solo
Get in the flow – and you can picture like a photo
Music mixed mellow maintains to make
Melodies for MC’s motivates the breaks
I’m everlastin, I can go on for days and days
With rhyme displays that engrave deep as X-rays
I can take a phrase that’s rarely heard, FLIP IT
Now it’s a daily word
I can get iller than ‘Nam, a killin bomb
But no alarm – Rakim will remain calm
Self-esteem make me super superb and supreme
But for a microphone still I fiend …”

Even more new school rappers not known for their math have moments of weird brilliance that we can use. The next verse comes from Cam’ron, whose zany rhymes have usually taken me aback, but this time, he might have gotten it right (for the rest of “The R.O.C.”, click here):

“Dude think doublin’ is turnin’ 5 to 8
I turn 8 to 20, 20 to 100, 100 to 1000
That to 100,000, in front-a housin’ …”

We can plot these numbers on an x-y plot, or compare the rate in which his competitor that doubled from 5 to 8 did versus Cam’ron, who had a much higher rate of productivity. Then, we can look at the consequences of drug trafficking and if the long-term benefits work in favor of drug pushers. It’s a long-term project, but it’s also cross-disciplinary.

Yet, with lyrics like this, and a deluge of other rappers’ lyrical dexterity, it poses the question of the literary legitimacy of hip-hop’s music and takes a proverbial dump on it. Granted, we can’t depend on Soulja Boy, Plies, or Akinyele to give us lessons on anything besides sexual degradation with half-written-on-napkin raps, but the list of popular rappers whose lyrics we can use in the classroom (depending on grade level) grows just as much.

Just like any genre of music, rap has a diverse pool of rappers from which to start your lessons. But the most important part of using rap in your lessons is that the discussions and lessons stay authentic and honest. What I mean is that the teacher conveys that they want the student to think critically and use rap as a vehicle of communication rather than to disparage it because it’s the “black kid’s” music.

And to think, I didn’t even get into Immortal Technique, Common, Eminem, or Queen Latifah.

Your thoughts?

jose, who knows someone’s gotta bring up Nas, Lupe Fiasco, David Banner, Trick Daddy, or KRS-One …

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Penny Harvest: Abe Lincolns Like Whoa

by Jose on November 21, 2007 · 5 comments

in Uncategorized

Jay-Z Cigar

I hate to brag, but:

“Mazel Tov! It’s a celebration, chickens!
L’Chayim! I wish for you a hundred years of success, but it’s my time!”

courtesy of Jay-Z from “Roc Boys”

With little paper promotion (mostly word-of-mouth) and without a foundation for a Penny Harvest Committee until about 2 weeks in, my school collected approximately over 2,000 dollars. By my estimations, that might be a record for my school, so I’m incredibly excited. We had classes that unfortunately registered at nil, but the rest of the school definitely compensated for the lack of participation.

And I hate to say this because I understand who reads this, but this was also a covert and independent mission on my end. I abided by the regulations laid out for the school as well as the Penny Harvest organization, but I knew that in order for this fundraising to surpass all expectations, I needed to slide under the (rather superfluous) red tape.

For instance, I didn’t necessarily agree that I had to check with my “chief of staff” for every little thing I needed, nor did I think I needed my advertisements revised and reassessed constantly. At some point, when we’re supposedly beholden to someone else’s whims, we need to seriously consider if the person’s asking legitimate questions or if they’re just making questions up, knowing you’ve covered all the bases.

Let us concentrate on the positive. I’m thankful for a few things:

1) We ended Penny Harvest in an astonishingly orderly fashion. Everything just fell into place, and some of the policies I instilled earlier in the year really paid off at the end.

2) We have a strong core of people from all floors that will represent our school well for the rest of the year.

3) I can continue to instill ideas of community service for the rest of the year without the worries of money and with the trust of teachers and administration.

4) We’ve gotten the school excited about donating to organizations that help with causes like the Dominican Republic relief fund (a popular one at my school), diabetes, breast cancer, or the homeless, depending what direction the winning classes want to take.

5) I also look forward to having my preps and profs back. It’s a huge sacrifice to be the Penny Harvest coach. It was my first year, and my system, while more efficient and more homeroom-centered, took some readjusting for the school to get used to.

I don’t get paid by any of the Penny Harvest people to do this, so know that I think Penny Harvest is an awesome event that people can honestly contribute to. When we can get to the point of developing curriculum across the subjects (and not just in math) for this event, we’ll be on a whole ‘nother plane. Kids really do get excited because no matter how minuscule the donation, we can all in some way commit to some donations to people less fortunate than we are. Even when administrations change, the Penny Harvest has a reputation around the school. Every class really rallied around to support.

But of course, this is only phase numero uno. I look forward to the rest.

For more about Penny Harvest and the Common Cents organization, go to commoncents.org.

For more about my Penny Harvest experience, read:

So Close I Can Taste It, Penny Harvest Math, and Penny Harvest Mania.

Shout-outs to NYC Educator and Ms. Whatsit for mentioning me in their Education Carnival and Teacher Potluck, respectively.

Sweet …

jose, who will definitely blog on Thanksgiving …

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Look, I’m In A Nutshell

by Jose on September 9, 2007 · 5 comments

in Uncategorized

Did you ever get someone or a group of people just stare at you for no good reason? I don’t mean kids, because that’s their natural tendency. I mean adults. I’d understand if I was breathtakingly handsome, but I consider myself cool, at most photogenic. Of course, people offer different opinions on that matter. Personally, I think their assertions are outrageous, but what can I do?

For example,

Jay-Z

I’ve never been the head of a multi-million dollar rap label, nor have I ever sold millions of albums based on my street rhymes, though I’ve thrown up that ubiquitous diamond sign whenever a few of this guys’ songs comes up.

Diddy

I’ve never stood next to the Notorious B.I.G., money has always been a problem for me, and I’ve never endorsed any acne prevention medicine on T.V.. I only make 1/2-assed attempts at preserving my sexy.

Description of a Young, Black Male

Yes, I am somewhere between 5′8″ – 6′2″, wear a hoodie often, Black / Latino male, Black hair, jeans, and sneakers, but no I did not rob or assault the liquor store, grocery store, Macy’s, McDonald’s, Burger King, convenience store, 99c store, little old lady, the church, or any of that ish, and I definitely did not shoot the sheriff or the deputy.

Kanye West

I don’t have an album coming out on September 11th, I’ve never been on the cover of Rolling Stone with a ring of thorns around my head, but I don’t wear a backpack or Louis Vuitton anything, but I’m pretty sure George W. Bush does not like Black people.

Talib Kweli

I’ve never had a CD containing my train of thought, though I do believe there is a beautiful struggle, and I do consider myself a Black Star (/sarcasm).

Jose Vilson

But, if you do mistake me for “that one teacher’s boyfriend,” “that guy’s brother,” “that dude I saw on stage for my welcoming event,” “my older brother’s / sister’s / cousin’s former math teacher,” or even “the guy who used to write for this blog,” then I’m totally for that.

jose, who’s thoroughly excited about the following information

For anyone in the NYC area, I have an event coming up on the 15th of September. Check it:

Tavern of Creativity

feat. Rob Bless,Cathy Delaleu, Melissa Falcon, Celeste Doaks, Aminah Love, Nnmandi, Sam Adewumi, Stephen E. Jordan, a.ka. Bougie, and Jose Vilson

Stain Bar
www.stainbar.com
(718) 387-7840
766 Grand Street
4th Stop in Brooklyn, off the L Train
September 15, 2007 – 6:00 -11:00 PM

Art & Poetry books will be sold.  (but not mine because I don’t have a book … yet ;-)) …

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Walk On Water

by Jose on September 6, 2007 · 14 comments

in life

robbie_williams_escapology_cover.jpgWhen it comes to my principles, I didn’t tell them who I quoted from, but I had a discussion around them. What’s great about these principles is that I get to discuss them while secretly learning more about who they are as people and as students. I tested their ability to follow procedures and respect others’ opinions.

Of the few passages I’ve taken with me from the 6 years of Catholic school and the extra 4 dedicated to Communion and Confirmation, it’s the miracle of Jesus walking on water. For those who aren’t Christian, the story goes that, after Jesus died and resurrected on the 3rd day, he started appearing to the disciples randomly wherever they went. One of those appearances was Jesus, walking to them on water, as the disciples were on a boat. Jesus calls out to Peter, the head disciple, and says, “Walk with me.” He starts walking to Jesus a little bit, looks down, and realizes how deep it is, and so begins to drown.

The story in itself is nuts, and I love it. Even in allegorical form, it transcends its religious tone into something that I feel everyone can learn from. It was even more ludicrous when Jay-Z, who often describes himself as Jay-Hova, said in one of his lyrics,

“How could you falter when you’re the Rock of Gibraltar?
I had to get off the boat so I could walk on water.”

I’ve never heard anything like that; not only did he just compare himself to Peter the Apostle, but describe his situation in the controversial breakup of Roc-A-Fella Records, a record label that at the time was dominating rap music, but he had to leave to get greater opportunities. In other words, he put one of Jesus’ miracles in terms that, while blasphemous in some circles, let people who don’t even follow Christianity could understand.

I interpret walking on water as not just taking a risk, but taking such a huge risk that it takes a lot of faith as much as it takes planning. While it’s not prudent to just jump at everything that comes your way, sometimes when the timing’s right, that leap of faith can earn big returns.

Personally, I use it with the kids because it’s too often that kids are afraid to take a risk. I took a risk with the kids I have, as many teachers this week told me how intrigued and confused they were by my selection as a 6th grade teacher, preferring that I stayed in the 8th grade with the “tough” kids. I countered that maybe I didn’t choose the kids, but certainly these kids were chosen for me.

I’ve never taught the grade, and now we’re both going through this journey together. While hopefully raising them up a couple of grade levels, I also hope to inspire them to become better people. That’s something I lost last year in some ways. My first year I did a much better job of inspiring young children to become better students, and even if I just planted the seed, that seed blossomed well into their 8th grade year. Oftentimes, I’d look down at my feet, and sink gradually, wondering if those piranhas were going to nip at my toes in the process.

With this new year, I’ve got the fantastic opportunity to get my kids into the right mentality for the rest of their lives. With an optimistic and positive attitude mixed with a little focus and management, I continually increase the odds of that.


“What does it mean when I say, ‘walk on water’?”[silence]

“Well think about this, has anyone ever been on a boat?”

[some hands rise]

“What do you feel when you’re on a boat? How do you feel?”

“Scared,” “sick,” “nice,” “safe …”

“SAFE! When we’re in a boat or a plane, sometimes, it’s really easy to just stay on it, and maybe even go back home. But if you never step off into that new land, you’ll never try something new. Some of you have never left this street, or even Washington Heights. Now is that time. Don’t be afraid to try something new. When my parents came here, they took a risk and never looked back. When it comes to this math class, I want you to take a risk and go into it headfirst. Try your best. I want everyone to get 100% on their grades, but if you don’t, all I’m asking you is to try your hardest. Walk on water.”

mr. v, who feels comfortable going into any desk formation with his kids now that he has his procedures and rituals down

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