To My Journal …

Jose Vilson


Let me ruminate a bit.
I like being personally invited to events. I like being messaged or called out specifically by people. I like searching for my name and seeing my web site first on Google, and any references to me making up the majority of the search results on any major search engine. I like when people say “please” and “thank you” when they address me, and when my kids see me in the morning, despite however they’re doing in my class behaviorally or academically, I expect them to say “Good morning” or “good afternoon” and not at their leisure. These interactions are as natural to me as me expecting warm water when I turn the lever to “warm” in my shower.

Of course, these interactions don’t always play out the way I like them to, and that’s when I get a little peeved. With the increase of impersonal greetings and interactions, it’s easy to feel like my achievements aren’t being recognized. I’m not self-centered, though some people say I should be with some of the events that precede It’s also easy to lose sight of my goals, and why I’ve embarked on the “mission” I have. Maybe it’s because I’ve also grown a little pride in myself, resuscitating pieces of me that lied buried deep in my person because of the multiple insecurities I’ve suffered through for a few decades or so. I’m good now, but any little feeling of personal slight or disregard often gets my mind going.

But then I think about all the wonderful feedback, my growing readership, and the positive attention I do get from the people in my inner circle, and I’m grounded again. Today, at the bar, I was having a conversation about U2 with an Irish co-worker, wondering if they’re still cool in Ireland. She told me that indeed they were, and they’re looked at as inspirations. Even to this day, as popular and sometimes aloof as they are, people still catch members of the band drop by the music store with no bodyguards and no pretenses. Granted, that would never happen with the likes of a Jay-Z (in Marcy, BK) or a Diddy (Harlem, USA), but it’s good to know that even a band whose leader has demigod-like tendencies still has a good sense of their place in the world.

And if they can keep a good head on their shoulders, then this fan of theirs can probably do well for himself, too.

jose, who wonders what people do to keep grounded in spite of their lofty goals …