Working On the Star F*kin’ Player

Jose VilsonJose4 Comments

Note: some rather inflammatory language in this post. Not that you care because you know who you’re subscribed to, but just in case, move on if you’re not old enough to read this or if you can’t handle the language.

The Rock

The Rock

Last night, I found some serious inspiration from one of the most unlikely sources I’d ever had, one that, despite the incendiary language, really provided me the wherewithal to keep moving despite the minor obstacles I’m facing now.  Let me rewind a bit, though.

I went to Huny’s birthday Mardi-Gras Extravaganza, and for the time I was there, it was fun. Good drink, good people, and fun times. Obviously, I wish I had been there longer, but I was a bit exhausted from all the previous running around I was doing. Nonetheless, I met a lot of cool people, and even saw 1 that I didn’t expect at all (Andy, we definitely need to chill soon).

Anyways, we’re all downstairs, getting our party on. Dopegirlfresh is getting her dance on, and even the sitters were still grooving. Again, lots of fun. All of a sudden, as I’m dancing, one girl (who I’m not naming nor has been named already) turns around, and hands me her drink. I thought, “Oh, she must need to fix her shoes or somethin’. No biggie.” Then she turns right back around and starts dancing again.


Say what? My face looked like I just smelled the crudest fart I’d ever smelled.

I turn to my new peoples, goddessjaz, and I go,

Did she do what I think she just did? I know she’s not giving me this red drink for me to have! Do I look like I got sucka written in my forehead?

Obviously. Goddessjaz is crackin’ the hell up, and I continue:

I mean, I barely know you! And you’re just gonna hand me your drink? I must have “sucka!” written on my forehead! Chick, you’ve never tweeted me before! You don’t even follow me! We are not friends!

Goddessjaz by now can hardly breathe, so I say, “I bet you’re going to retweet this.” She couldn’t say no.

I turn back around, tap the girl politely on the shoulder, and said, “Hold this.” I then got back to my dancing. No drama, but for some reason, I must have this look on my face that says, “I’ll hold your drink while you go have fun and I just stand there with a drink I won’t even have a sip of.” Please.

I stay a little while longer because I haven’t turned into a pumpkin just yet, but I had to step out because I’d been tired all day. I walk all four blocks back home (it’s good living on the LES), and turn on the tube. Comedy Central is showing an uncensored version of Katt Williams’ It’s Pimpin’ Pimpin’, and he drops some serious knowledge. Much of his segment is dedicated to self-improvement and taking care of the star player.

“Too much motherfucking shit going on is my motherfuckin’ point, too much motherfuckin’ shit. That’s why you gon’ have to make a dedication to yourself that you gon’ treat your star player a little bit nicer in 2008. Some of us go through our whole lives pleasing other motherfuckas, and you can’t please nobody. People in your family mad, people at your job mad, people in your car mad, everybody mad!


How the fuck are you doing, n****? How the fuck are you doing? You might want to focus on that a little motherfuckin’ more in 2008 …

Isn’t it time we all took care of our star player?

(Watch from the 6:52 mark, or just watch the whole thing for funny-as-hell clip)

Jose, who just had to keep it real for a quick second …

Comments 4

  1. Funny, I just watched “It’s Pimpin Pimpin” last night and was saying to myself he is like the hood motivational speaker. LOL!

    But he is so right! I mean sans the language, he has a point!
    Funny we were watching the same thing last night at the same time.. Guess great minds really do..


  2. wow. I was watching it, too! In between all the laughter and profanity, he makes so much sense you can’t help but actually pay attention and follow his advice.

    which is exactly what I’ve been doing so far. wish me luck; I’ll be root root rooting for you, too!

  3. YES, that was comedy when you became the drink shelf. You can’t stop the boogie, lol :)
    I saw Katt Williams do this skit at Radio City last year…it was like church up in there! That star player skit was the best thing I’ve ever heard and for months after that my homegirl and I were always referring to our star player. It’s a constant lesson I’m learning so THANK YOU for bringing it back. Life is too short and folks are always gonna be mad about something you did/said/thought, so I’m with Katt. I’m doing me and pleasing the haters every day!

  4. That’s messed up! I feel your pain. I hate when someone wants you to watch their drink too. Or coats or purses, etc. That happened to me once. Some drunk guy ordered Henny and left it unattended, some old man came by and drank his drink. He came back and found it gone and blamed the bartender! So after he ordered another one, he had the nerve to ask me to watch his drink while he stumbled and staggered his way around the bar. Some people just don’t ever learn.

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