NotoriousBIG

You’re Nobody ‘Til Somebody Loves You

Jose 8 Comments

NotoriousBIG

After a difficult day “at the office,” I sat on my couch and did next to nothing. My e-mail count ran up. My food got cold. My son played with his cars, and, while I partook in a little chasing around the apartment, I soon fell into the couch again, contemplating whether any of the stuff I did outside of school was worth it. A day like this was long overdue, and sleeping it off felt like the only cure.

The morning after, I check my phone. The following came through my e-mail:

Knowing the data and related research as I do one might ask why I still believe in education. After reading This Is Not A Test, I am reminded of why I stay in the field. Through his experience as a teacher and a young man of color growing up in the segregated communities of New York City, Jose Vilson reminds us why education matters. He also shows us that teachers can have a critical voice in the national conversation about the future of public education, and that when they are not afraid, they can use that voice to challenge the reproduction process.

It was Pedro Noguera’s afterword, one he wrote in the middle of his already hectic writing schedule. Three days later, another came through with these words:

I became aware of “JLV” one late night after someone else provided a link to his blog. I was taken by the truth, the vulnerability and the clarity. It was clear that this man (and there are so few men in the profession, let alone men of color) had a passion for educating children of color. This passion means the constant search for making education relevant no matter what – a math teacher who can envelop his students in the glow of hip hop whilst explaining the quadratic equation. As a role model for black and Latino males, Jose takes seriously the responsibility placed on his shoulders.

Karen. Lewis. For my book’s foreword. My eyes filled up reading these back-to-back. How it feels to inspire those who laid the groundwork. I stand on their shoulders.

In the middle of writing this book, I may have been on the brink of quitting this book ten times, wondering how far I could be pushed, how honest I needed to be, how much derision I would get back, how much I would give up for some of the things I said. Even the slightest mention of intersectional talk put me in the middle of an identity crisis where education activists have to question and rethink their allegiances.

I’m OK with being the focal point. My team is, too. At too many points last week, I yelled at certain folk in my head: “Really? Fuck you, then, don’t buy my book! Get their shit! Miss out on what we’re doing over here! You’re mad because people of color can speak for themselves and don’t want to be spoken to a certain way? Even after all the people you love said my shit was dope? I don’t need your shit, then!

My personal value system doesn’t depend on how “liked” I am. I’m fortunate to already have a family and friends who look out for me, despite myself.

But I rather not get too deep, not because I owe people who are supposed to be on my side of things a dime, but because there’s already a groundswell of people who think differently, think forward, think we can do a much better job of leading movements, and will be just vulnerable enough to lift each other up while working towards a better humanity.

Teaching on its own is difficult if you’re trying to get better as an educator everyday. Teaching and opening yourself up so people can see that struggle is that much more arduous. It often feels isolated. You. The kids. The occasional visitor. You again. But, for some of us, it’s not just us. It’s the legacy and all the people who, flawed as they may be, keep our spirits going, like crowds before a finish line.

My own finish line? I don’t see it, but I know I’m doing fine. I’m still running.

Jose

About Jose Vilson

José Luis Vilson is a math educator, blogger, speaker, and activist. For more of my writing, buy my book This Is Not A Test: A New Narrative on Race, Class, and Education, on sale now.

Jose VilsonYou’re Nobody ‘Til Somebody Loves You

Comments 8

  1. Chris Lehmann

    Happy to run alongside you, my friend.

    The book rocks. The book is important. The book will change people’s minds. The book will spur people to deeper thought and action.

    Just like everything else you do.

    And when you forget these things, call me. I’ll always be there to remind you.

  2. Bill Ivey

    Working and struggling and trying to be worthy of being part of the groundswell. So thankful you are out there inspiring me by your examples. So moved by this piece and so glad you found the support you deserved when you needed it. Good karma has a way of rebounding on those who created it.

  3. Kali

    You give words to those that feel they have nothing else to say. You recharge those that feel they have nothing more to give. Your transparency and honesty…whew! Your existence is powerful. Continue to do what you do! It matters.

  4. nikki stevens

    We as Americans have removed God from our lives. Some of us may go somewhere on Saturday or Sunday to pray but why not Monday through Friday in our classroom with our students. The destructión of public schools in America is the result of corporations, and businesses making money off of public schools. In cities public schools are being turned into charter schools, where most of the employees are young and white. So the older teachers and teachers of color will lose there jobs because some corporation who hires teachers will hire who they want. An example of this is the firing of the Camden City police in Camden, NJ. The mayor, governor and a rich man got rid of the hispanic and black police officers and hired predominately younger white males. Money, money, money is what this whole thing is about not helping public education, thus the students and teachers. We as Americans depend so much on Technology and man, so when they fail us we become confused. We need to fight to bring prayer back into public schools and into America. God is waiting for us to open his book, the bible and pray. Until we understand what he wants the fight will continúe, the attacks on public education will continúe, urban and suburban public schools will close, charter schools after they make their money will eventually close and people, corporations and businesses will profit, education will lose out and the students will be home schooled or in youth detention centers. The goal is hire teachers who only want to stay in education for a couple of years. They don’t want the teachers who are committed to work for twenty or thirty years, because the government doesn’t want to pay for their pensions anymoré. It is all about saving and making money not about the children. I believe once we open the door to God things will change and public schools will flourish and public school teachers will be respected, our government will serve God and students will learn. Without God this chaos will continúe.

  5. Kim Feldman

    I’m a high school teacher and reluctant scholar who just began working on my PhD. I found your blog while researching the debate about the Common Core. The whole public debate was making me want to cry because while everyone was talking about teachers, teachers weren’t participating in the discussion and nobody seemed to be talking about the right things in a way that made sense to me. You get it. I cannot tell you how excited I am about your book. I’m going to pre-order it today, and I hope our paths cross sometime in the future.

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