The following text is a combination of things that never happened, but may feel familiar. But if they feel familiar, it probably did happen, but I made it up so don’t tell anyone I actually said this. But if it did actually happen, that’s on the system and the actors who perpetuate the system, not on the folks who get mandated to enact wild policy that rarely if ever benefits kids. Please, and thanks.
Scene 1:
Mr. Vilson’s first official day is rarely the real first day because he spent about five days cleaning out his new room, the tenth time in 12 years he’d had to change classrooms. That’s why, when he walked into the auditorium, he plopped into a back row somewhere watching his colleagues laugh and hug it out. The usual veterans flipped from smiles to groans as they prepared for the school year. The new teachers either hung out in the first row (“Why would you do that?” Mr. Vilson groaned to himself.) After a few sips of his super-sweet cafecito, Mr. Vilson greets his favorite teachers and acknowledges the others, too.
A few moments later, Principal Binder walks in with a team of boys and men behind her, carrying unmarked boxes that they’d leave on the stage. The colleagues keep chatting until exactly 8:30am when the clock officially starts.
“OK, everyone, welcome back to school! I hope you had a restful and productive summer!” Binder says. She pauses to let the snickers and giggles pass. “I only said that out of courtesy, but,” she snickers loudly, “I have some good news for you. I checked our test scores and, as usual, we didn’t do as well. We do a great job of moving 1s to 2s, and some 2s to 3s, but we’re not moving any of those numbers, I mean students, to 4s. I know many of you spent a lot of time organizing your curriculum binders, but I have some new ones for you! If you know your grade, grab one from your box.”
“But how are we supposed to …” a teacher suggests.
“IT DOESN’T MATTER, UGH! Just … 5th grade to 8th grade from right to left, take one!”
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