In today’s news, a prank goes horribly wrong when a group of students replaced themselves with mannequins only to notice the teacher kept teaching. “It was supposed to be a childish prank, but, when we looked through the classroom door, she just kept teaching like we were there,” said Juan Gomez, a student in her class. The school, under the city’s official department website, is classified as 90% free or reduced lunch with 70% of the students in the lowest-third in reading and math classes and 50% English language learners, all euphemisms for serving students of color.
It all started in homeroom when kids were yelling at the top of their lungs about the Michael Brown case, the teenager murdered by recently-resigned and well-paid officer Darren Wilson. As they yelled multi-lingual curses at Wilson and the white people they didn’t like in the building, the teacher yelled “HEY! HEY HEY!” The students walked right by the teacher, knowing she wouldn’t address their concerns. According to a transcript gathered from a set of Vine videos, as they clamored together in the corner of the homeroom, the teacher started off with what looked like a promising speech:
“Now, I know many of you are angry about what happened yesterday, and I’m here for you in case you want to talk …”
As the students started to get back in their seats, the teacher continued:
“But I also want you to know that you need to think about the stupid things you do all the time to provoke authority figures, like the way you present yourselves with your lowered pants, the way you speak to your friends, and your lack of proper English!”
The students then reportedly twisted their necks, snapped their fingers and said, “Oh no, she didn’t!”
Oh yes she did. Afterwards, the students yelled, “THAT’S RACIST! You think because we’re not white, we should die!?”
“No, I’m not saying that, but …”
Devonte, the loud one out of many loud ones, said, “OH HELL NO! How you gonna say that, miss? We Black kids!”
“No, hold on, wait just a minute. About a week ago …”
“WEEK AGO!!!” Students threw their fitted caps in the air and did what they call the Shmoney Dance.
“Guys, please, please, please just sit DOWN! Now, I have these standards to teach, this curriculum to figure out, and this test to get ready for, and I can’t have all these disruptions. We’ve spent far too much class time with your nonsensical, teenage hullabaloo. As far as this Mike Jackson, Brown, whatever his name is stuff, you should know I’m colorblind.”
“Miss, you mean you can’t see color?”
“NO! It just means that I don’t care if you’re Black, white, green, yellow, or whatever, I’m just here to teach and that’s it! I’m not paid to do that and I have to teach you!”
“But miss, this is really important and …”
“So?”
“Not only is it insulting to people who are actually color-blind and have other visual issues,” says Mark Perrielo in a separate interview, president of the American Association of People with Disabilities, “but … UGH!”
That’s allegedly when students came together and turned the conversation on its head, breaking into school property an hour before school started and moving mannequins into seats and dressing them in lowered jeans and colorful caps. “I just thought that the kids wanted to straighten their lives and be on their best behavior after this Mike Jordan stuff. I didn’t actually think they were trying to prank me.” But they did because, after 30 minutes of silence and non-participation, the principal walked in and dropped his clipboard at the scene. “He said, ‘How did you get these unruly kids so quiet?’ and I just told him that my classroom management game was tight. He gave me a pound right after that,” said the teacher, whose name was redacted due to utter shame and embarrassment.
“She even marked me present, sir,” continued Gomez. “I was actually in the hallway with 30 kids and she gave me a good grade for the day.” He shook his head in disgust before pausing, then laughing as he walked by the classroom.
“This is totally unacceptable,” says Jose Vilson, author of This Is Not A Test, A New Narrative on Race, Class, and Education. “You’re not even going to notice that everyone in your classroom hasn’t made a sound? Didn’t ask to go to the bathroom? That they were all had their hands on their hips? This speaks to the need for teachers who respond to the students in front of them, not the students who they wish were there. Gosh!”
As to where the students got the mannequins from, no one knows, though an anonymous source mentioned the back of a St. Louis courthouse, the same courthouse where a grand jury failed to indict now infamous officer Darren Wilson.
“Satire is what closes on Saturday night.”
If you’re going to try to pull off satire you’ve got to hit it just right. This was simply ridiculous.
Dear Anonymous, If anything is cliché, it’s an anonymous rant. Why not say who you are, stand by your words. Sincerely, Susan Sawyers
“If you’re going to try to pull off satire you’ve got to hit it just right. This was simply ridiculous,” said the anonymous person.
I found this comment cliche and unoriginal. Essentially it says that the joke isn’t funny. This is the oldest criticism around. It’s not as if the reader was clever for seeing the satire, since the author tagged it as satire right on the post. More likely, the reader is miserable and just had to add their stench to the air because they had nothing else to add.
I found the piece to have more in common with truth than not. Thanks, Jose, for writing it.
Thanks for trying to explain why I’m colorblind and why I don’t have time to worry about this is, in and of itself, such a waste of time. The number of adults who have said to me “Oh, really, the kids are worried about that stuff in the news” has astonished and saddened me. Please keep up the good work. Thank you.
I am a bit reminded of “Ditto”from “Fast times at Ridgemont High.” Obviously her lack of tact is to be questioned. She started well enough. If the teacher had just invested a few minutes trying to connect or empathize with the students she could have found a way to segue into the lesson. The “prank” would not have taken place. Time for retirement or reassignment?
How many problems could be prevented if we recognize when it is time to listen and actually take the time to listen? I realize that some kids will try to take advantage on any given day, but this requires discernment on the part of the teacher as well as awareness. In short, you have to know your kids.