“I can’t. I just can’t.”
After class on Thursday, I started to strongly reconsider why I wanted to do this project I’m having my students do. The premise is for them to understand operations with scientific notation by modeling the solar system. This went off mostly without a hitch last year and I got some of the most brilliant pieces I’d ever seen from students that the school usually expects less from. This year, I improved on it a bit and hope the results feel better.
This year, the students did do a model with me, and then they would do one on their own with different dimensions. While many of the groups have been up to the task, a few haven’t, and it’s required a little more out of me to push and insist. In a couple of groups, I’ve come close to pulling ears and cheeks … metaphorically, of course.
Is project-based learning all it’s cracked up to be or is it just me?
Most of my other colleagues have gone about their business without doing any projects and they seem cool as cucumbers while I’m pushing my students to complete this with a little more vigor. It’s critical that I remember the hard work of the many overshadows the misguided few. Then again, who’s guiding? What’s guiding? Is it me or am I fighting something learned from years prior and trying to push sails with my bare hands?
That’s why the discussion about bad teachers feels personal to me. I don’t consider myself a bad teacher, or incompetent, or ineffective, or any of the other adjectives that might suggest I don’t know what I’m doing. I am, however, still standing at the crossroads of experimentation. Taking risks when I don’t really have to don’t often feel like they pay off. I love seeing my colleagues try new things, work with new technologies, and explore their neighborhoods, but when I’m trying, I’m biting my nails more often than I feel I should. I’m meticulously looking for the right behaviors, the right triggers, the right questions.
Are the kids asking me too much? Am I being too helpful? Should I be more stern here, more forceful here, more relaxed here? Am I overthinking this? Probably.
Every year, I’m hoping that the times I’m a great teacher far outweigh the times I’m not as great, aiming for 100% of the time, though that might not be possible. I also hope that, by reflecting this openly, I can see what I’m doing that will sustain me for the decades to come in this work, and hopefully for people who follow me on this. Being a reflective practitioner in this day and age requires a lot more bleeding openly and hoping that your skin gets stronger with every bruising.
Does being a bad teacher mean you’ve accumulated enough bruises that you no longer feel them? I’m not sure, either.
Jose, when I was in the classroom, there were more times than not that I didn’t feel like I successfully met the needs of my students.I tried to give it my all, but I was never satisfied and was always reflecting on my practice. I think that ability to recognize that we can improve and be reflective is part of what separates good teachers from those who are “bad.” I really think that teachers needs to be open to critiquing, but this comes with the caveat that teachers need to trust those who are offering the critique.
First , thanks to TheJLV for creating a platform to differ, accept and understand various points of view concerning the woes and joy of education.
As we are all aware, nothing is 100% proof. Teaching is a peculiar thing.However the most effective educators are those who are called for its purpose.Even then there are trials and error but, the struggles will be beautiful. The JLV entries do not convey dissatisfaction but a great deal of progression and that is very inspiring.There are good and bad employees( one bad apple can spoil a whole barrel) in every sector of professions. Then a great weeding or filtering may be needed to save its foundation. I stand to say I truly empathize with any educator who is knowledgeable and talented enough to excute a great lesson but is judged by the outcome of being able to whip an unwilling mind into submission. Teaching comes with its difficulties, but it’s the most noblest profession of all.
The solar system as a vehicle for doing scientific notation – they will see through you.
The solar system as a fascinating thing, with lots going on an a teacher who is interested in it, with the need, or desirability to find a “better” way to write numbers down becoming apparent – they will probably pay attention.
Scientific measurements may or may not use “scientific notation”. I have recently been reading about DNA replication, and the sizes of things are measured in millimeters, micrometers and nano meters, no sign of a 10 to the anything anywhere.
Quoting you : ” I’m meticulously looking for the right behaviors, the right triggers, the right questions.” – there are useful behaviours and not so useful or even counterproductive behaviours, there are useful questions and pointless questions, etcetera. There is no right way in this business. What is successful one day is a lead balloon next time. It is not always obvious why. What works with kid A falls flat on its face with kid B. Being able to change course in the middle is really useful, and is not evidence of weakness or failure. Anyway, even the best teachers (whoever they are) screw up now and again. So there !
Great article on this “bad teacher” reflection, especially since I have my evaluation this week! Been teaching for 21 years, and I change every year…every month, even, in order to do the best that I can for kids. I am constantly tweaking delivery, projects, lessons…so how do you even evaluate somone’s effectiveness if they are evolving with their students? Intuitively, if that is what I am doing, then I MUST be somewhat effective…unless I’m not giving the kids enough time to adjust to the changes that I make to better support them…and then comes the question, “Am I a bad teacher?” Maybe, because I ask that of myself, I’m not bad????
In that vein, I have gleaned a few practice ideas that you have mentioned and used them effectively in class…thank you! Now I’m REALLY intrigued by your project using Scientific Notation. Willing to share?
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Yes I am. E-mail me in my contact box, please.
And how many of your students come back to thank you for your drive, your unconditional commitment, for being that teacher who believed in them when they didn’t quite believe in themselves?
That’s why you do what you do.
Author
Agreed, Peter. It’s something to remind myself when things get difficult.
What I find interesting is that we all work in a system that we know is flawed, probably fatally so. Our successes are often only students who would succeed in any system, especially as we keep striving for excellence. If that’s the case then why not only teach the excellent.
When you suggest to someone that inclusion is a more laudable goal that actually achieves more excellence (i.e. Finland) you get the big eye roll. The big “the real world” yaddi yah. Truth is we need to create the real world of the future. This future is NOTHING like what I envisioned the future to look like when I was a kid. You know what, I should’ve worked harder to create that world, ’cause that vision was a whole lot better than this.
So we plug away, and do our best for as many kids as possible. It just means we care enough about the kids to isolate them from the worst parts of the system.
Maybe just maybe, with the doors shut we can teach them how to learn and love one another.
I can’t conceive of how anyone who genuinely cares about kids wouldn’t reflect on their work and try to continually improve, in part, I suppose, because it’s just not in my nature to be satisfied with anything less than my best, and in part because “my best” is a moving target.
I can, though, conceive of a variety of reasons why people might attempt to not feel the inevitable bruises. In my case, I’m so aware of what I need to do to improve that I often end up feeling like a fraud and a failure, echoes of those people who have been highly critical of my educational philosophy and practice drowning out others (though they are a strong majority) who are more supportive. Without a little numbing, I’m not sure how I could summon up the courage to try yet again to get it right on any given day. It’s not that I’ve given up or that I’m not doing my best. It’s more dealing with the futility of ever being good enough.
I think that all adds up to “By all means, reflect. But reflect wisely.” I’m obviously still working on that.
I think that projects are more work for teachers, but they give the student a better educational experience. I have been learning about Project Based Learning, and I think its certainly a great way to get students to want to learn. I think in the long run, students will benefit greatly from it and thank you for your hard work.